[snottyduck]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

...I watched for several minutes...

So you looked at naked little boys for several minutes?? Boy, and they call me gay on this board for being a Goth, what is one who watches little naked boys then??

[Bob4God]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

StupidDuck,

Very clever way of twisting my original post there. If you hadn't cut off the rest of my sentence, you would see that it reads, " watched for several minutes as I prayed fervantly for GOD to give me the words to rebuke them."

I wasn't about to march onto that battlefield of satan without the full armor of GOD.

Also, they are not "little boys" they are men in the eyes of GOD.

GLORY AND PRAISE HIS NAME!

Also, I don't think you're gay for being goth. That falls more under the line of bondage to satan, ie, satan worship.

[SUV]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

Lumpy has relentlessly pursued Godly Brother Hatchet for months.

And this is not a rumor I made up; I saw it somewhere else, in another thread.

[Bob4God]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

I will stand for no more of Lumpy's harlotry! As Joseph fled from Potipher's wife, so I flee from you! Now begone, and respect the MEN ONLY notice on this part of the forum!

IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, AMEN!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

Lumpy,

I refuse to waste my time doing edit-cut-paste-edit to reply to in quote comments. You want to talk about put in a replyable format.

Jesus has been dead for 2000+ years. You'd think he'd be over the crying by now.

Friend,

Jesus rose from the dead after a long weekend in Hell and lives forever. He looks down upon you from heaven with love and sheds tears of blood Lumpy, that's right blood. Now after He died briefly for your sins is making Jesus cry a good thing?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

Lumpy,

I refuse to waste my time doing edit-cut-paste-edit to reply to in quote comments. You want to talk about put in a replyable format.


I will reply in the format in which I choose to reply. You are free to reply or not.


Friend,

Jesus rose from the dead after a long weekend in Hell and lives forever. He looks down upon you from heaven with love and sheds tears of blood Lumpy, that's right blood. Now after He died briefly for your sins is making Jesus cry a good thing?

He couldn't have died for my sins. I wasn't even born yet, so I had no sins at the time he died.
I don't believe that he was resurrected. Reincarnated, maybe - perhaps as Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., or the Dalai Lama.

[Husband without Joy]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

He couldn't have died for my sins. I wasn't even born yet, so I had no sins at the time he died.
I don't believe that he was resurrected. Reincarnated, maybe - perhaps as Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., or the Dalai Lama.

Dearest, everyone here already knows that you don't believe in God. So why continue telling them so? Do you think they aren't aware that you hate Jesus and want to spend eternity in Hell?

Incidentally, I've been finding their arguments quite persuasive. Bobby-Joe and the boys are already here with the torch to cut the door off my cage and take me to Landover.

I've already used the Internet to transfer all the funds from our joint accounts into my name (and a generous offering to Landover), to protect what remains of my family fortune from you. I'll leave you the house, with all your things in it. My lawyer will be contacting you tomorrow, sweetiepie.

I hope all this 150-year-old wood doesn't catch fire, what with the torch right next to it.

[SUV]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

Be strong in your cage, my Dear Man, for a while longer. As soon as JESUS sees all the Infractions she's receiving, surely He'll
'Call Her Home' at any time - and then you can break free

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

He couldn't have died for my sins. I wasn't even born yet, so I had no sins at the time he died.

God is not bound by our human notions of time. God was perfectly capable of knowing from all eternity the sins that each one of us would commit, and those sins drove Him to commit temporary suicide. It's high time you took that a little more seriously, missy.

I don't believe that he was resurrected. Reincarnated, maybe - perhaps as Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., or the Dalai Lama.

When Jesus drop-kicks you into the lake of fire, you'll fervently wish you could be reincarnated as anything at all, even Paris Hilton.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

Dearest, everyone here already knows that you don't believe in God. So why continue telling them so? Do you think they aren't aware that you hate Jesus and want to spend eternity in Hell?

Incidentally, I've been finding their arguments quite persuasive. Bobby-Joe and the boys are already here with the torch to cut the door off my cage and take me to Landover.

I've already used the Internet to transfer all the funds from our joint accounts into my name (and a generous offering to Landover), to protect what remains of my family fortune from you. I'll leave you the house, with all your things in it. My lawyer will be contacting you tomorrow, sweetiepie.

I hope all this 150-year-old wood doesn't catch fire, what with the torch right next to it.

Whoever your wife is, it's not me.

My husband and I maintain the separate accounts we had before we married - we have never had joint accounts. My car is in my name, his car is in his name. I don't use his last name.
Neither of us ever had any family fortune - we married for love, not wealth.
Our house is in my name, since I bought it before we married, it's nowhere near 150 years old and it's brick, not wood.

You obviously are either delusional or experiencing a case of mistaken identity.

[JennyD]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

When Jesus drop-kicks you into the lake of fire, you'll fervently wish you could be reincarnated as anything at all, even Paris Hilton.

Anything but that, Pastor!

That's just wrong.

[SUV]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

My GOD, now she is claiming to be Married to Landover Baptist's very own girlie-Man, Darren Ingram-Myers! This is BIGAMY!

What next, Jesus - what next?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

God is not bound by our human notions of time. God was perfectly capable of knowing from all eternity the sins that each one of us would commit, and those sins drove Him to commit temporary suicide. It's high time you took that a little more seriously, missy.


Temporary suicide? How exactly does noe take such a ridiculous concept as temporary suicide seriously?


When Jesus drop-kicks you into the lake of fire, you'll fervently wish you could be reincarnated as anything at all, even Paris Hilton.

If I had to choose between hell and being reincarnated as Paris Hilton, I'd PREFER hell. Didn't she recently purchase TC status with a massive "love offering?" Or did the check bounce?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

My GOD, now she is claiming to be Married to Landover Baptist's very own girlie-Man, Darren Ingram-Myers! This is BIGAMY!

What next, Jesus - what next?

No, I'm not married to anyone from LBC.

[AubreyO'Connel]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

Brothers in Christ, I need your prayers and guidance in an important decision. I'm posting this here to keep it away from the innocent eyes of the weaker sex.

I took my Youth Group boys to the woods this weekend for camping and Bible study, and I made a most disturbing discovery!

It seems that a handful of them decided to sneak off and go skinny dipping in the lake. When I heard laughing and splashing coming from that direction, I went to investigate.

I watched stunned from behind a large tree as I saw a small group of naked teenage boys playing in the water. I watched for several minutes as I prayed fervantly for GOD to give me the words to rebuke them.

Then, as if I weren't already shocked enough, I noticed that something was wrong with one of the boys. His tallywacker wasn't circumcised!

Finally, I stepped out from the woods and ordered them to get out of the water and get their clothes back on. I watched carefully to make sure each of them covered his wet dripping body and didn't go back into the water. Then I sent them back to their cabins.

I didn't say anything more about what I saw, but Genesis 17:10 clearly states, "Every man and child among you shall be circumcised."

Does this apply only to those silly Jews or does it apply to normal people as well? I know that the LORD has a general distaste for the foreskin.

The boy in question is of some kind of so-called native American descent, so I can only assume he was raised in some kind of barbaric tribe somewhere, thus explaining why they didn't strap him down and cut it off when he was born, as was done to our precious Savior.

Should I rebuke him and his parents? Should I print off Landover's do-it-yourself circumcision instructions?

I've been thinking that the best approach is to simply kick him out of the Youth Group. I never trusted injuns that much anyway. I'm sure it was his idea to go naked swimming in the first place.

YOU SICK FUCKIN PERV CUNT