[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: The Mattress Mambo and You

What makes you think I enjoy looking at naked women?

I think they call it "projection" Pastor. It is where people accuse others of the very thing they like to do. Lumpy is merely revealing her lezbo fondness for other women. I've certainly heard stories about all the things that the Godless do in the suburbs to amuse themselves – from wife swapping to wanton fornication. They have no purpose or morals without Jesus so anything becomes possible. I wouldn't be surprised that those "Tupperware" parties are just a euphemism for something depraved.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: The Mattress Mambo and You

Lady, there should be a 40-ft-tall Warning Sign planted outside your house! Like any Christian, I have the greatest contempt for perverts. But I wouldn't wish such a depraved spectacle even on them.

My worries are that your nudey sicko Skyclad rituals you practice in the woods are stumbled upon by children. The poor things would be scarred for life!

Then they should stay off my property.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: The Mattress Mambo and You

I think they call it "projection" Pastor. It is where people accuse others of the very thing they like to do. Lumpy is merely revealing her lezbo fondness for other women. I've certainly heard stories about all the things that the Godless do in the suburbs to amuse themselves – from wife swapping to wanton fornication. They have no purpose or morals without Jesus so anything becomes possible. I wouldn't be surprised that those "Tupperware" parties are just a euphemism for something depraved.

Good point Brother. I just have problems understanding how depraved the sinful are. Yes, doubtlessly Lumpy is so sick she has a mirror over her own bed just to watch a woman having sex. No wonder she brags about how may she owns.

Disgusting.

[Dwayne DeKalb]

Re: The Mattress Mambo and You

God is always watching you. Always. When copulating with your wife, be certain to keep it as clean as possible. You are, after all, forcing God to watch porn. Your tallywacker belongs in your wife's cooter. Do not put it anywhere else. Make sure you're doing it missionary style and cover up as much as possible. I like to wear a Cosby sweater and long johns.



Keep the dialogue crisp and entertaining. No pizza delivery guy or naughty nurse scenarios. These are porn clichés. God's sick of them. Also, get it over with as soon as possible. God's a busy Supreme Being. A commercial break during Matlock should provide you with ample time to create a Christian.

So be mindful of God's presence when parting the Pink Sea, guys. Also, be mindful of my presence. I'll be watching through your bedroom window to make sure you are doing it right. Praise Jesus.

You are one creepy old fella.

[HTannor]

Re: The Mattress Mambo and You

I strongly suspect the major problem at Sister Old Iron Crotch's house is that she is rebelling against this well reasoned and insightful posting by Sister Mary Maria:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=12393

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: The Mattress Mambo and You

You are one creepy old fella.

Why are you attempting to seduce Brother Hatchet?

His door does not swing that way! Can't you tell by his dissertation on homosexuality-promoting breakfast cereals?