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  • Cranky Old Man
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America!

    Originally posted by thrrowaway View Post
    Its a game about shooting birds out of slingshots to help them fly and get their eggs back. You are looking way to deep sir.
    The only part right about your rambling is the decency to call me sir.

    Apparently you never actually played the game and clearly have nothing even closely resembling a clue about it.

    Biden voter I presume...

    Leave a comment:


  • MitzaLizalor
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America!

    How could an animal act like a human being? Not even using electric shocks could an eel do calculus. "What about elephants?" you may ask. "With sufficient voltage applied couldn't they crochet a lilac cover for my hot water bottle?" It's been tried. After quite a short time, elephants become incapable of anything.

    Now shoot that chicken out a cannon. Ostriches are quite aggressive and have claws. How would you get one voluntarily into a cannon? Live bio-artillery would seem restricted to humans (they have to climb in) maybe a flea or an aardvark could be enticed with an interesting food item but even then, the human needs no inducement: the aardvark is not behaving like a human.

    Are you suggesting electrocuting aardvarks?

    Leave a comment:


  • Diesel Stanford
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America!

    Also, it is blasphemous and sinful to make animals act like human beings.



    All fleshis not the same flesh: but there is one kind offlesh of men, another flesh of beasts, another of fishes, and another of birds. 1 Corinthians 15:39

    Leave a comment:


  • MitzaLizalor
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America!

    Leave a comment:


  • Des
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America!

    Originally posted by WWJDnow View Post
    I have never played this sinful game (nor will I), but I have to say that referring to women as "birds" is quite rude
    I've been told that broads hate being called chicks.

    Leave a comment:


  • WWJDnow
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America!

    I have never played this sinful game (nor will I), but I have to say that referring to women as "birds" is quite rude, and we certainly shouldn't teach our children to shoot at them with slingshots. Women need to be protected so they can take care of the home and babies.

    Leave a comment:


  • MitzaLizalor
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America!

    Originally posted by thrrowaway View Post
    Its a game about shooting birds out of slingshots to help them fly
    What, like ostriches?

    Leave a comment:


  • handmaiden
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America!

    Originally posted by thrrowaway View Post
    It's a game about shooting birds out of slingshots to help them fly and get their eggs back. You are looking way too deep sir.
    Isn't your atheist god, Freud, always saying that there is always a hidden layer of meaning beneath the everyday activities in which we engage?


    And what is wrong with being a little deep? Are you saying that we should aspire to being banal and frivolous?

    Leave a comment:


  • thrrowaway
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America!

    Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
    Angry Birds is a Finnish "game" which originated on Steve Jobs' gayPhone. It is now spreading like a cancer to other devices. Never in my 50 years on the web have I met such horror. There can be no doubt that everyone who plays Angry Birds will end up in Hell! Thanks go to Brother John Creeser for bringing this great horror to my attention.

    The pigs looking like Nazi's is no coincidence!


    A SEX Training Game!
    Angry Birds is played by slowly moving your finger over the surface of your phone. As the game progresses you need to move your finger over the surface faster and faster. When the game progresses even more you also have to touch a certain spot over and over to get your reward. Those who have, reluctantly, studied the ways of sluts, whores and harlots will recognize female masturbation here! That's right! The best way to play Angry Birds is also the best way to make a women climax! So Angry Birds is training both men and women in how to get a women to orgasm! And as we all know only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms! God clearly disapproves of masturbation! Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

    This is not why God gave us fingers!


    A direct attack on Jesus Christ!
    Once more and more people got seduced by Angry Birds the gay sex orgy fanatics at Rovio launched a new version of the game directly attacking Jesus Christ! God will smite all those who played this anti-Christ version of Angry Birds! 2nd Chronicles 15:13 "That whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman."

    Mocking Jesus Christ on His own birthday!


    Hardcore Costume SEX!
    Not only does Angry Birds teach people to fornicate like rabbits, a lot of really really sick people have sex while wearing Angry Birds costumes and driving Angry Birds cars! And we all know, furries are the love child of Satan and anime! God doesn't like this! Exodus 22:19 "Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death."

    Furry sex freaks love having sex wearing Angry Birds costumes!


    DESTROYING America!
    It is no coincidence that our economy started tanking at exactly the same moment Angry Birds was released. Our deficit has tripled due to the horror that is Angry Birds! Once we used to be a nation of productive people kicking ass in the global economy. Now we get crushed by the Chinese who don't like Angry Birds because it reminds them of their beloved Peking Duck. So while Americans are wasting their lives playing Angry Birds, China is obliterating our economy! God is not pleased about Angry Birds making America lazy! Proverbs 12:24 "The hand of the diligent will rule, But the lazy man will be put to forced labor."

    Angry Bird is very bad for America's piggy banks!
    Its a game about shooting birds out of slingshots to help them fly and get their eggs back. You are looking way to deep sir.

    Leave a comment:


  • Redeemed Papist
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America

    Originally posted by katajrocker View Post
    So true, there are tons of dumb heads on this website who come up with the silliest of stories. There even one about thumb sucking being evil! I mean seriously? This is why I'm quitting lol
    Now you're just being nasty. Why are fake Christians always so full of hate?

    Where do they get their information from about God? It's certainly not the Bible. They just make it up, because there is only one source of non-made-up information about God and that is the King James Bible.

    Leave a comment:


  • Comatoserocker
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America

    So true, there are tons of dumb heads on this website who come up with the silliest of stories. There even one about thumb sucking being evil! I mean seriously? This is why I'm quitting lol

    Leave a comment:


  • Mary Etheldreda
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America!

    Originally posted by SavedbyChrist View Post
    I'm genuinely curious: Why is it wrong for a woman to orgasm?
    Because it means she's in the service of SATAN!

    Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

    Originally posted by SavedbyChrist View Post
    And if it's so wrong, how do you know how a female orgasm works, apparently?
    By that logic, no one would know sticking knitting needles in your eyeball is wrong unless they first determine it works.

    Leave a comment:


  • Elmer G. White
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America!

    Originally posted by SavedbyChrist View Post
    I'm genuinely curious: Why is it wrong for a woman to orgasm?

    And if it's so wrong, how do you know how a female orgasm works, apparently?

    I don't want someone flicking my phone every five minutes like you do in this game. Takes more than that to get a high score with me.
    Dear child,

    You are starting to develop a healthy interest in the commandments of Jesus and how to live according to His master plan. Ignorance can be treated. Briefly, intercourse was Created to enable procreation (Genesis 1:22), not pleasure. I can personally testify that the actual conjugal act is tedious and at best relatively quickly over BUT it produces new soldiers for Christ. A longer explanation is also available. The physiological mecanisms of a positive feedback loop mediated by the parasympathetic nervous system and N. pudendus are totally irrelevant when compared to the Words of Jesus!



    Also relevant in this respect is John 8:34
    Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.


    It was a pleasure to assist you in your schooling!


    Yours in Christ,

    Elmer

    Leave a comment:


  • SavedbyChrist
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America!

    Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
    you need to move your finger over the surface faster and faster. When the game progresses even more you also have to touch a certain spot over and over to get your reward. Those who have, reluctantly, studied the ways of sluts, whores and harlots will recognize female masturbation here! That's right! The best way to play Angry Birds is also the best way to make a women climax! So Angry Birds is training both men and women in how to get a women to orgasm! And as we all know only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!

    This is not why God gave us fingers!
    I'm genuinely curious: Why is it wrong for a woman to orgasm?

    And if it's so wrong, how do you know how a female orgasm works, apparently?

    I don't want someone flicking my phone every five minutes like you do in this game. Takes more than that to get a high score with me.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ph0enix808
    replied
    Re: Angry Birds: The SEX Training Game that is DESTROYING America!

    Originally posted by PinkGuy View Post
    Should we also ban helmets because they make soldiers (americans aswell) look like nazis ? no ?
    Now thatch just crazy talk! There is a fine difference between American helmets and Nazi helmets
    You sir(or Ma'am) should learn to Punctuate and Capitalize
    Also don't be a thread necromancer

    Leave a comment:

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