Tweet
PRONOUNS: THE DEVIL’S SECRET ALPHABET
How “He,” “She,” and “They” Became the Gateway Drugs of Grammar
(A Special True Christian Warning!)
Friends, there was a time in this great Christian nation when nouns were simple.
You had he, she, and occasionally it, which was reserved for inanimate objects, and society functioned perfectly.
Then one day, somewhere between the invention of Wi-Fi and soy milk, some woke liberal sissy invented the “pro-noun,” and the world turned upside down!
Suddenly, nouns had feelings - and as any decent Christian knows, the moment language starts having emotions, society is finished.
What Is a Pronoun?
A pronoun, according to some woke dictionary, is “a word used instead of a noun.”
Friends, do not be fooled here!
The word “pro” should be a dead giveaway - short for progressive, which means pretty much the same thing as 'woke', which means pretty much the same thing as gay communist Satanism!
According to the latest studies, a pronoun is a form of Queer Witchcraft: a tiny verbal spell designed to bend reality, overthrow truth, induct children into the Gay Agenda, and make HR departments terrifying places for all True Christians!
When someone says, “My pronouns are they/them,” what they really mean is:
“I reject God, biology, common sense, bathrooms, and noun consistency!”
It is not grammar.
It is linguistic sorcery.
And we all know where sorcery leads:
The Pronoun Agenda
We are told that pronouns are about “respect.”
But everything the Devil does is allegedly about “respect.”
The real goals of the Pronoun Movement are:
To replace nouns entirely!
To introduce 47 new restroom signs!
To convince people that a man in drag is really a woman!
To enable queer men dressed as women to infiltrate female restroom areas undetected (yes, even though they stand out more than anyone)!
To turn normal straight men gay simply by exposing them to 'alternative' grammar structures!
And eventually, to make everyone refer to God as “They/Them,” which is how Armageddon actually begins!
The ministry warns that one wrong pronoun can flip a heterosexual man like a light switch.
This is called Syntactical Gayification, and it is very real according to our latest church pamphlets.
The Grammar Paradox
Pronoun activists insist that “they” can be singular.
But we spent minutes researching this, and we discovered:
“They” means more than one.
More than one is socialism.
Socialism is gay.
Therefore, pronouns are Marxist homosexuality disguised as grammar!
Really, this is just basic logic!
Exposure in the Schools
Pronouns are now being taught to children as young as five.
At this age, children should be learning:
Instead, they are being exposed to drag-adjacent grammar.
Studies show that if a child hears the wrong pronoun before age seven, they may become either nonbinary or a theatre school major!
Both are equally devastating to a Christian household.
What Happens When You Use the Wrong Pronoun?
The media would have you believe that using the wrong pronoun leads only to mild embarrassment and a quick correction.
However, actual Christians know the following will occur instantly:
How to Protect Yourself from Pronouns
If confronted with pronouns in daily life:
In emergencies, simply state:
“I am sorry, but I don’t believe in grammar after 1954!”
This phrase has been proven 87% effective at repelling woke indoctrination attempts.
Final Word
Pronouns are not just words.
They are not just grammar.
They are not even a misunderstanding blown wildly out of proportion.
They are dangerous syllables aimed at indoctrinating normal people into the Gay Lifestyle.
In truth, most folks who use pronouns daily are either LBGTQIAPHFOBXYZ+++, or they soon will be — because, as the ministry teaches:
“Woke Grammar is contagious.”
Friends, they ask us to recognize one another.
They ask us to think.
They ask us to be flexible.
And above all else, never trust anything that has blue hair and asks questions!
How “He,” “She,” and “They” Became the Gateway Drugs of Grammar
(A Special True Christian Warning!)
Friends, there was a time in this great Christian nation when nouns were simple.
You had he, she, and occasionally it, which was reserved for inanimate objects, and society functioned perfectly.
Then one day, somewhere between the invention of Wi-Fi and soy milk, some woke liberal sissy invented the “pro-noun,” and the world turned upside down!
Suddenly, nouns had feelings - and as any decent Christian knows, the moment language starts having emotions, society is finished.
What Is a Pronoun?
A pronoun, according to some woke dictionary, is “a word used instead of a noun.”
Friends, do not be fooled here!
The word “pro” should be a dead giveaway - short for progressive, which means pretty much the same thing as 'woke', which means pretty much the same thing as gay communist Satanism!
According to the latest studies, a pronoun is a form of Queer Witchcraft: a tiny verbal spell designed to bend reality, overthrow truth, induct children into the Gay Agenda, and make HR departments terrifying places for all True Christians!
When someone says, “My pronouns are they/them,” what they really mean is:
“I reject God, biology, common sense, bathrooms, and noun consistency!”
It is not grammar.
It is linguistic sorcery.
And we all know where sorcery leads:
- Men in dresses
- Drag queens in libraries
- And eventually, every man forced by law to wear eyeliner “just to be supportive.”
The Pronoun Agenda
We are told that pronouns are about “respect.”
But everything the Devil does is allegedly about “respect.”
The real goals of the Pronoun Movement are:
To replace nouns entirely!
To introduce 47 new restroom signs!
To convince people that a man in drag is really a woman!
To enable queer men dressed as women to infiltrate female restroom areas undetected (yes, even though they stand out more than anyone)!
To turn normal straight men gay simply by exposing them to 'alternative' grammar structures!
And eventually, to make everyone refer to God as “They/Them,” which is how Armageddon actually begins!
The ministry warns that one wrong pronoun can flip a heterosexual man like a light switch.
This is called Syntactical Gayification, and it is very real according to our latest church pamphlets.
The Grammar Paradox
Pronoun activists insist that “they” can be singular.
But we spent minutes researching this, and we discovered:
“They” means more than one.
More than one is socialism.
Socialism is gay.
Therefore, pronouns are Marxist homosexuality disguised as grammar!
Really, this is just basic logic!
Exposure in the Schools
Pronouns are now being taught to children as young as five.
At this age, children should be learning:
- Shapes
- Colours
- And how to fear God appropriately
Instead, they are being exposed to drag-adjacent grammar.
Studies show that if a child hears the wrong pronoun before age seven, they may become either nonbinary or a theatre school major!
Both are equally devastating to a Christian household.
What Happens When You Use the Wrong Pronoun?
The media would have you believe that using the wrong pronoun leads only to mild embarrassment and a quick correction.
However, actual Christians know the following will occur instantly:
- You will be “cancelled” (part of the Liberal Agenda)
- The Internet will appear
- A blue-haired mentally-ill philosophy major will materialize and sue you
- A drag queen will demand entry to a restroom
- And your employer will immediately know — probably even if you are self-employed
How to Protect Yourself from Pronouns
If confronted with pronouns in daily life:
- Avoid eye contact
- Speak only in full nouns
- Refer to everyone as “that person over there”
In emergencies, simply state:
“I am sorry, but I don’t believe in grammar after 1954!”
This phrase has been proven 87% effective at repelling woke indoctrination attempts.
Final Word
Pronouns are not just words.
They are not just grammar.
They are not even a misunderstanding blown wildly out of proportion.
They are dangerous syllables aimed at indoctrinating normal people into the Gay Lifestyle.
In truth, most folks who use pronouns daily are either LBGTQIAPHFOBXYZ+++, or they soon will be — because, as the ministry teaches:
“Woke Grammar is contagious.”
Friends, they ask us to recognize one another.
They ask us to think.
They ask us to be flexible.
And above all else, never trust anything that has blue hair and asks questions!
, and to know that common sense and decency prevail! In addition to your very detailed list, might I suggest also adding "gender-neutral" names? You know, those names that can be used for either a baby girl or a baby boy — names such as Casey, Jesse, Sam, etc. Names such as those are designed by the devil himself to cause confusion, and to distract from the very distinction of being recognized as either a male or a female.
named the male as Adam, and not Dale!
bless you, dear Mr. Randy, as you walk with 
— here, at 
.
of 
Comment