[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

You have the right of it ,brother. As I said, we were not lovers, but my dear -- I mean depraved --, lesbian roommate played so many of those female games ("You should just know what what I'm feeling; if you have to ask, you just don't get it; it's not what you said, it's how you said it." And she ALWAYS had to have the last word, even if it meant slogging through another 20 minute discussion over something that I thought we had resolved after the previous 40 minute discussion.) Frankly, she was the kind of woman who could drive other women crazy.

Sure, she was intelligent, well-spoken and filled with character and conviction, ( for all her sinful, liberal causes ), but she was so sensitive that if someone stuck a pea under the mattress of a bed in the apartment one floor beneath her, she wouldn't be able to sleep. Better a man who farts in his sleep, than a lesbian princess.

Musingly Yours,

Handmaiden

You have just opened my eyes sister, I am afraid to say it but after reading the description of your roommate, I may have spent 20 years married to a lesbian; prior to my instituting regular corporal punishment for her shrewish ways my late wife would say those same things...''you wouldn't understand'', ''it is a woman's thing''.... only after regular castigation did these statements stop. I am glad to say that as a by-product her biscuits got much better and she began spending her free time in female fellowship.
I will say I don't think any of the gay stuck but I am unsure of the early signs of gay. Have you noticed anything unusual after separating yourself from this roomie?

[handmaiden]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

Have you noticed anything unusual after separating yourself from this roomie?

Happily, Brother, I never found myself even the least little bit tempted to exchange the natural use of any of my parts for any attention to said parts from a female.

My toughest struggle in keeping pure for the Lord remains my tendency towards lusting after smart, blond, brainy bearded guys. Beards, in particular, are my greatest weakness. As a friend of mine once noted, "Beards practically scream 'I have a penis.'" Given that I went to a woman's college with many brainy, somewhat butch lesbians, the beard became the important indicator of whether or not I was barking up the wrong tree.

One thing that has happened to me since my association with my former roommate, is that I have (seriously) had to look at my own communication style.

If the Lord ever sees fit to assign me a True Christian husband, I will make a major effort to not play the passive-agressive role.

I will not count on my mate's power of telepathy in understanding what I feel or what I want.

Example: If I don't want him to leave dirty socks on the floor-- instead of picking them up myself and fuming about it until it all comes out in a tearful torrent during the telecast of a major sporting event -- I will simply shove them down his throat. This will necessitate a beating from him, of course. But at least we will be communicating clearly.

Sincerely Yours,

Handmaiden

[HTannor]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

.........Conventions of society dahling......

Aha, give 'em time and truth will tell. Fag talk, end of story.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

''But at least we will be communicating clearly.'' Handmaiden
I have to agree with you that the cornerstone of any relationship is communication and there are several ways to accomplish this, well done on finding yours.

[Sparky]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

Happily, Brother, I never found myself even the least little bit tempted to exchange the natural use of any of my parts for any attention to said parts from a female.

My toughest struggle in keeping pure for the Lord remains my tendency towards lusting after smart, blond, brainy bearded guys. Beards, in particular, are my greatest weakness. As a friend of mine once noted, "Beards practically scream 'I have a penis.'" Given that I went to a woman's college with many brainy, somewhat butch lesbians, the beard became the important indicator of whether or not I was barking up the wrong tree.

One thing that has happened to me since my association with my former roommate, is that I have (seriously) had to look at my own communication style.

If the Lord ever sees fit to assign me a True Christian husband, I will make a major effort to not play the passive-agressive role.

I will not count on my mate's power of telepathy in understanding what I feel or what I want.

Example: If I don't want him to leave dirty socks on the floor-- instead of picking them up myself and fuming about it until it all comes out in a tearful torrent during the telecast of a major sporting event -- I will simply shove them down his throat. This will necessitate a beating from him, of course. But at least we will be communicating clearly.

Sincerely Yours,

Handmaiden

You could just ask him nicely, rather than resorting to violence followed by a beating.
Sincerely,
Sparky

[handmaiden]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

You could just ask him nicely, rather than resorting to violence followed by a beating.
Sincerely,
Sparky

Yeah, right. Because THAT'S the way to get men to pick up after themselves.

I grew up in a household of men. They don't listen when you ask nicely.

These are people who stand staring in front of open refridgerators and expect properly prepared food to jump out into their mouths.

They encounter a sandwich sitting on a plate in the kitchen with no one around, and it never occurs to them that the person who made the sandwich for themselves may have just stepped out of the room for a minute. They assume the sandwich fairy just left it for them without being asked.

They don't have standard strength smell detectors to clue them into the presence of their own dirty socks. Shoving said socks down their throats is a nice gesture compared to shoving them up their ---

Okay, I may be feeling a touch ornery at the moment. I'll take myself off to my prayer closet and ask the Lord to soften my stick neck.

(But men really do suffer from refridgerator blindness.)

Penitentialy Yours,

Handmaiden

[Sparky]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

Yeah, right. Because THAT'S the way to get men to pick up after themselves.

I grew up in a household of men. They don't listen when you ask nicely.

These are people who stand staring in front of open refridgerators and expect properly prepared food to jump out into their mouths.

They encounter a sandwich sitting on a plate in the kitchen with no one around, and it never occurs to them that the person who made the sandwich for themselves may have just stepped out of the room for a minute. They assume the sandwich fairy just left it for them without being asked.

They don't have standard strength smell detectors to clue them into the presence of their own dirty socks. Shoving said socks down their throats is a nice gesture compared to shoving them up their ---

Okay, I may be feeling a touch ornery at the moment. I'll take myself off to my prayer closet and ask the Lord to soften my stick neck.

(But men really do suffer from refridgerator blindness.)

Penitentialy Yours,

Handmaiden

Well I have a brother and a dad, both of whom are capable of making food for themselves, and picking things up after themselves, although sometimes they do need to be asked before doing things like moving footballs from the lawn. But otherwise they are intelligent and considerate enough to either do things on their own, or after being asked. Likewise, my mum had three brothers; all of whom were expected to contribute equally to household chores like cooking and cleaning, and they managed adequately. Is there something wrong with the men you live with perhaps?
Concernedly yours,
Sparky

[handmaiden]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

Is there something wrong with the men you live with perhaps?

Perhaps, yes and perhaps no. But I do know that they are real men, which is perhaps more than I can be certain of regarding anything in your life.

Could you possibly be more perfect ? Everthing about you and your beliefs and family and friends is so lovely and helpful and brimming with goodness.

No wonder you are laying down the law to us about God and His intentions and what He really had in mind when He wrote His Word. Here, I thought that Jesus was the Way, the Light and the Truth. But now I see that Sparky is the be all of everything. Nothing that any one writes or suggests or even jokes about cannot be dimissed or countermanded or one upped by Sparky.

I noticed on another thread that you recommended a better way for the moderators/admims to designate new comers to the forum.

Is there anything else we can do to accommodate you? We could completely deny everything we believe in and amend the Bible to suit your sensibilities. If you think that we can be trusted with the task. I won't be involved in this, of course, because I'll be beating myself with a lash for daring to challenge your greater wisdom in all things of any significance in the entire expanse of the space-time continuim.

Grovellingly Yours,

Handmaiden

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

Well I have a brother and a dad, both of whom are capable of making food for themselves, and picking things up after themselves, although sometimes they do need to be asked before doing things like moving footballs from the lawn. But otherwise they are intelligent and considerate enough to either do things on their own, or after being asked. Likewise, my mum had three brothers; all of whom were expected to contribute equally to household chores like cooking and cleaning, and they managed adequately. Is there something wrong with the men you live with perhaps?

So all women in your family are lazy?

Proverbs 12:24 "The hand of the diligent will rule, But the lazy man will be put to forced labor."

Genesis 3:16 "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

[Sparky]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

So all women in your family are lazy?

Proverbs 12:24 "The hand of the diligent will rule, But the lazy man will be put to forced labor."

Genesis 3:16 "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

Nope, we all contribute equally- so all of us are equally lazy or equally hard-working.It's quite a fair system and means we all have time for our hobbies and the things we enjoy
In fact, it's one of the many reasons why I love my life as much as I do

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

Why do you ignore God's clear rules which state that women should submit to men?

And what are those "hobbies" you mention? I highly doubt it is something decent like Bible Study.

[Sparky]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

Perhaps, yes and perhaps no. But I do know that they are real men, which is perhaps more than I can be certain of regarding anything in your life.

Could you possibly be more perfect ? Everthing about you and your beliefs and family and friends is so lovely and helpful and brimming with goodness.

No wonder you are laying down the law to us about God and His intentions and what He really had in mind when He wrote His Word. Here, I thought that Jesus was the Way, the Light and the Truth. But now I see that Sparky is the be all of everything. Nothing that any one writes or suggests or even jokes about cannot be dimissed or countermanded or one upped by Sparky.

I noticed on another thread that you recommended a better way for the moderators/admims to designate new comers to the forum.

Is there anything else we can do to accommodate you? We could completely deny everything we believe in and amend the Bible to suit your sensibilities. If you think that we can be trusted with the task. I won't be involved in this, of course, because I'll be beating myself with a lash for daring to challenge your greater wisdom in all things of any significance in the entire expanse of the space-time continuim.

Grovellingly Yours,

Handmaiden

Why thank you- I think it's because I know how lucky I am that I what to help others. As you pointed out, I am incredibly lucky to have such good friends and family, and I was lucky enough to be bought up in a country that is for the most part fair and safe, and I have enough money to get by but not enough to be complacent about it.
I don't actually mind what you call new-comers, it was just a small suggestion. I'd rather that you change your beliefs about rape and homosexuals but I can see that's never going to happen.
You say the changing point in your life was fully understanding the scriptures- well mine was learning that everyone is different, and learning to get along with everyone can give you a lot more satisfaction that hating them based on one aspect of their personality ever will.
I'm sorry that you don't agree.
Humbly yours,
Sparky

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

mine was learning that everyone is different, and learning to get along with everyone can give you a lot more satisfaction that hating them based on one aspect of their personality ever will

We hate no one! We love everyone with True Christian(tm) tough love!

If you see a child run towards a street, what do you do? Stop the child or let a car run over it? You save the child!

It is the same with us. If we see someone run to the eternal fires of Hell, we try to save them from that!

Why it is very important to avoid hell (you are heading straight for it at the moment):
Psalm 9:17 "The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God."

Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched"

[Felicity]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

@Sparky Do you love Jesus?

[Sparky]

Re: I lived with a lesbian!

We hate no one! We love everyone with True Christian™ tough love!

If you see a child run towards a street, what do you do? Stop the child or let a car run over it? You save the child!

It is the same with us. If we see someone run to the eternal fires of Hell, we try to save them from that!

Why it is very important to avoid hell (you are heading straight for it at the moment):
Psalm 9:17 "The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God."

Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched"

So what you're saying is... you love gays? (I'm so mature sometimes )
Yeah, I would save the child, but I would try to cause as little harm as possible. Whereas some of you seem like you would save the child by beating it until it was physically unable to run into the road into the first place