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  • #1

    Curing myself of homersexuality

    The fine pastors here have determined me to be a homer. And I realize I need to end my life of sin and homosexuality.

    So, from today, I will not engage in any sodomy, neither anal nor oral, what so ever. I will post updates here. I am certain that I will be able to overcome my urges,

    Exodus 15:26: "...If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee." (KJV)

    Psalms 34:17-19: "The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all." (KJV)

    Jeremiah 30:17: "For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith Jehovah; because they have called thee an outcast..." (ASV) God promises Jacob that his enemies will be vanquished, and that Joseph will be healed. Subsequent passages promises Jacob that his descendants "shall be my people, and I will be your God.."


    I will put all of the money I used to spend daily on male prostitutes in a jar and donate them to the Church at the end of each month.

    Praise Jesus!
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  • #2
    Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

    Praise! Glory!

    If you give up homersexurality I'm sure that God will clear up those AIDS lesions on your face.

    Halelujia!


    Deuteronomy 7:15 (King James Version) 15And the LORD will take away from thee all sickness, and will put none of the evil diseases of Egypt, which thou knowest, upon thee; but will lay them upon all them that hate thee.


    Psalm 103:1-5 (King James Version) 1Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. 2Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: 3Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; 4Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; 5Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.


    Psalm 103:2-3 (King James Version) 2Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: 3Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;
    The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

      I think you're mocking us, boy. Ceasing your perverted behavior isn't going to fool Jesus for one second. He knows whats in your heart. If you're infested with gay demons you need an exorcism.

      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

        Hmmmmm, really?

        I dunno; I'm not going to have any kind of gay sex today, but that's mostly because between my going to school and her being at work, we don't really have the opportunity.

        Anyway, sex or not I still love her and I find it really strange that Christians get pissed over me loving someone.

        I'll try to make it a point to have sex with her this weekend, and I'll do it for you guys, okay?

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

          Originally posted by SaltCereal View Post
          Anyway, sex or not I still love her and I find it really strange that Christians get pissed over me loving someone.
          We don't get pissed. It's your life. We just want to warn you that you will burn in Hell for all eternity if you don't stop being gay. We would be horrible people if we didn't warn you for that!
          5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
          To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
          James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

            Originally posted by SaltCereal View Post
            Hmmmmm, really?

            I dunno; I'm not going to have any kind of gay sex today, but that's mostly because between my going to school and her being at work, we don't really have the opportunity.

            Anyway, sex or not I still love her and I find it really strange that Christians get pissed over me loving someone.

            I'll try to make it a point to have sex with her this weekend, and I'll do it for you guys, okay?
            I don't get pissed - God does:

            Leviticus 20:13
            If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them

            All we Christians are trying to do is to preach the Word of God so can you can make an informed choice. Hell isn't very nice:

            Psalm 11:6
            Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and an horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup

            Is it really worth it?

            As for you Tubba Blubba: Good luck trying to quit being gay. It must take a lot of courage. But remember it's not enough to just stop sodomizing. If you find yourself looking at boy butts remember this:

            Mark 9:47-48
            And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched

            And remember also that you are not allowed to be attracted to any man or in any way think about him in an inappropriate manner:

            Proverbs 6:16-19
            These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
            A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
            An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren
            To the atheists:

            To the false christians:

            Feel like pissing off God? Perhaps this will change your mind:

            Hosea 13:16
            Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

              Originally posted by Johannes Kirkeholm View Post
              I don't get pissed - God does:

              Leviticus 20:13
              If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them

              All we Christians are trying to do is to preach the Word of God so can you can make an informed choice. Hell isn't very nice:

              Psalm 11:6
              Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and an horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup

              Is it really worth it?

              As for you Tubba Blubba: Good luck trying to quit being gay. It must take a lot of courage. But remember it's not enough to just stop sodomizing. If you find yourself looking at boy butts remember this:

              Mark 9:47-48
              And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched

              And remember also that you are not allowed to be attracted to any man or in any way think about him in an inappropriate manner:

              Proverbs 6:16-19
              These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
              A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
              An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren
              Sorry, Chuckie, you got it wrong there. See, when I have sex with my girlfriend, there are no boys involved. So, yeah, the Bible really doesn't mention dykes that much, because we're just too damn awesome for that lame-o book of yours.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

                Originally posted by SaltCereal View Post
                Sorry, Chuckie, you got it wrong there. See, when I have sex with my girlfriend, there are no boys involved. So, yeah, the Bible really doesn't mention dykes that much, because we're just too damn awesome for that lame-o book of yours.
                The Bible mentions both women and men! Romans 1:26-27 "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet."
                5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

                  Originally posted by SaltCereal View Post
                  Sorry, Chuckie, you got it wrong there. See, when I have sex with my girlfriend, there are no boys involved. So, yeah, the Bible really doesn't mention dykes that much, because we're just too damn awesome for that lame-o book of yours.
                  Sweet Jesus, you are a lesbo! Why can't you people wear signs that say you are homers?

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

                    Well, good news, no gay sex today. I also pinched myself every time I was about to have an inappropriate thought about another male.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

                      Originally posted by Tubba Blubba View Post
                      Well, good news, no gay sex today. I also pinched myself every time I was about to have an inappropriate thought about another male.
                      Great one day with out being sodomized, now get a hair cut and a job!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

                        Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                        Sweet Jesus, you are a lesbo! Why can't you people wear signs that say you are homers?
                        Actually, as of right now I'm wearing a T-Shirt that says "Dykes Rule." Does that count?

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

                          Originally posted by SaltCereal View Post
                          Actually, as of right now I'm wearing a T-Shirt that says "Dykes Rule." Does that count?
                          Close, try and find one that say God will smite me for being a Dyke. Think of the children they should understand what will happen if they catch the Gay. Have you tried to pray your Gay away?

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

                            Originally posted by SaltCereal View Post
                            Sorry, Chuckie, you got it wrong there. See, when I have sex with my girlfriend, there are no boys involved. So, yeah, the Bible really doesn't mention dykes that much, because we're just too damn awesome for that lame-o book of yours.
                            lame-o book? HAVE FUN IN HELL WITH YOUR LESBO GIRLFRIEND! AND HAVE FUN WHILST GOD RUBS FECAL MATTER IN YOUR UNDOUBTEBLY UGLY FACE!

                            Malachi 2:2-3
                            If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart.
                            Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it
                            To the atheists:

                            To the false christians:

                            Feel like pissing off God? Perhaps this will change your mind:

                            Hosea 13:16
                            Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Curing myself of homersexuality

                              Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                              Close, try and find one that say God will smite me for being a Dyke.
                              Haven't found that one yet, but if I did, I would totally wear it. Do you know where I might be able to find one?

                              Have you tried to pray your Gay away?
                              Yep. Didn't work. I'm still gay and, in fact, when I tried to pray the gay away I wound up meeting this other really cute lesbian who was trying to do the same thing. I think we both kinda gave up around the same time

                              Comment

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