Career change

[Roberta]

Hi Everybody,

For the past two years I have been enrolled as an evening student at the Community College of VT. I started in bovine husbandry but a lot of funny stuff went on in the barns at night. I changed majors and last month was awarded an Associates Degree in Human Sciences. My specialty is oral communication.

I have been trying to secure a position with a Christian practitioner and only yesterday received a personal solicitation from Dr. Marcus Bachmann in Lake Elmo, MN. In order to observe my approach to reparative therapy, he has invited me to meet him next weekend at the Wildwood Lodge. I am familiar with Mrs. Bowers' BASH ministry and wondered whether any Landover members had ever visited the Bachmann clinic? Dr. Bachmann is renown for manipulatively exorcising the demons of homosexual depravity. Apparently he can suck the devil out of his patients, thus ridding them forever of self-hatred and destructive instincts.

Do you Pastors approve of the Bachmann facility and its treatment regimen? Would this be a spiritually rewarding vocation for a young lady? The remuneration structure is attractive. A variety of fee-for-service modalities are available--some are even dispensed in group settings. Pay is strictly on a commission basis but Medicaid reimbursement ensures that the most indigent of our brethren will not be turned away. It would sure beat working at the dairy!

I have been praying for His guidance but would like to hear from you as well...

YIC,

Robbie

[Little Donkey]

Re: Career change

I'm sure there is a need for oral communication specialists somewhere, but really what's wrong with staying home and presenting your husband with a nice, cleanly cut slice of hot pie every single day of your life and twice on Sundays?

[Roberta]

Re: Career change

I have been looking for a BIG donkey but in VT, they're sure hard to find! Something to due with our inclement weather I suppose.

It gets real cold in February and I wind up having to share my pie with the ladies at church. The skiing here is wonderful, though; how often do you get off in the winter?

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Career change

Welcome back to our Godly forums Sister Roberta – your graceful presence has been missed.

I'm not aware of any comparative studies on the effectiveness of Dr. Bachmann's methods as his ministry has just come to our attention as a result of the Republican primaries. At first glance his theory appears to be somewhat unconventional as homerism is thought to be a result of demons in the rectum. Demons in the tallywhacker is a possibility but has not been directly observed to my knowledge, and the possible use of "glory holes" for their removal has generally been frowned upon in the past.

Some grant money for double blind studies would be welcome, but the Obama administration has not been forthcoming, and Church donations have suffered under the Obamunism economy.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Career change

Hi Everybody,

For the past two years I have been enrolled as an evening student at the Community College of VT. I started in bovine husbandry

Your outstanding personality has been sorely missed. I suppose that you have been studying the breeding methods of Jacob:

Ge:30:37: And Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chesnut tree; and pilled white strakes in them, and made the white appear which was in the rods.
Ge:30:38: And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering troughs when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink.
Ge:30:39: And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ringstraked, speckled, and spotted.

It all seems pretty straightforward. However, your present work seems to require much inspiration and you must be on your knees quite a lot.

Jesus will help though.