[Forest_dweller]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

I see, you'll answer everyone's question but mine.

I did not answer it because it was posted while I was still writing the other response. In hounor of your disgusting and twisted imagination, here is a response just for you.
I will not have a cigar buried you-know-where when I die, the fact that you thought of that sickens me. It was a joke, but if it comes to that, I'll buy one off Satan (maybe I'll sell him fire). I hear that he started the tobbaco companies, so getting one measly cigar should not be difficult.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

Yeah Smokey, let's hear you theories about a book you've probably never even read!

[Repentant Liberal]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

For the sake of argument, thats why!

Captain, the only thing you and I have in common are that we are both humans.

Jenny, I did not say there are loopholes in Leviticus, I said if you bothered to read further then you would see them.

Trust me, I'll be quite happy without eternal life. But since you got your hopes up by believing in it...

As I am not hacking this forum or trolling it, mearly discussing religion with you, I see nothing wrong with what I am doing here. Banning me would prove nothing, and acheive nothing either.

You claim all these loopholes, and even imply we don't read past Leviticus, which is weird because EVERYTHING about Jesus Christ, his life, and his guiding our way to heaven is past Leviticus. Even ignoring the complete ignorance thusfar I'd love to hear some of the loopholes, "for the sake of argument".

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

I see, you'll answer everyone's question but mine.

[Forest_dweller]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

For the sake of argument, thats why!

Captain, the only thing you and I have in common are that we are both humans.

Jenny, I did not say there are loopholes in Leviticus, I said if you bothered to read further then you would see them.

Trust me, I'll be quite happy without eternal life. But since you got your hopes up by believing in it...

As I am not hacking this forum or trolling it, mearly discussing religion with you, I see nothing wrong with what I am doing here. Banning me would prove nothing, and acheive nothing either.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

Oh yeah? I regret nothing! If I'm in hell, I'll make sure to remember the good times. Heck, I'll even try to argue with God (I hear he is fun at debates).

Maybe I'll pull out a cigar, look at Satan, and say, "Hey, you got a light?" and then laugh harder then hell!

I'm curious.

Since your clothing will all have burned off, from whence will you pull this cigar?

Is it in your will to have an Arturo Fuente Canone jammed into your rectum before burial, so you may have it handy when resurrected to damnation?

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

<< Did you know that Ted Haggard Abused Methamphetamine for years? Thats not counting the time he spent being secretly gay. Maybe those gay demons finally got to him eh? Haggard is a much a role model is Jeffery Dahmer, if you know what I mean. >>

The way that poor, gentle, innocent, dignified and learned friend of our Pastor Zeke's was persecuted and DRIVEN from his church was the most frightening example of mob mentality and downright sour-grapes-ism I've witnessed in YEARS!

No one stopped to think, "Gee, this whole thing is based on the testimony of an AVOWED CRACK-DEALING MASSEUSE"

Well, the dirty, sickening drug-dealing-man-whore bought his 5 minutes of fame. I hope it's worth that eternity in hell that came in the bargain. I have forgiven him for his human frailty, but Our Sweet Lord will not.

[JennyD]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

Zeke, some of the other ways to get into heaven would be shown to you if you bothered to read further then Leviticus.

Could you show us exactly where "getting into Heaven" is mentioned in Leviticus?

Could you also show us where exactly in the Old Testament Jesus describes Himself as the only way to the Father?

Oh, wait. That's in the New Testament.

Call that self respect? Thats a willful act of submission! I have free will so I can do whatever the hell I want and you can just watch!

Sure you can. So can I. And you can burn in Hell for it.

By the way, on this forum, you can do what the Pastors here allow, and no more. They can ban you, you see.

Jenny, the gift of eternal life is a curse. It is a gift like getting killed by a train is a gift. Any God would understand. Humans are mortals! Accept it and you will not have to waste the only life you have (and will ever get) on searching for the gift of eternity. Thats what the alchemists did. They wasted away searching for the philosopher's stone, some of them wasted their entire adult lives. And what did they get? Nothing but a hole 6 feet deep to bury their dreams.

Zeke, I'm looking forward to the day when you get proven wrong. There is no eternity. And if there was, I choose eternal death.

Then why are you talking about "ways to get into Heaven", when you're an atheist who believes there is no such place?

[Repentant Liberal]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

I'm afraid you're going to have trouble finding a loophole, does not John 14:6 state:

6Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

That's pretty ironclad if you ask me.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

Captain, it is not eternal bliss if you are there. Spending an eternity with the likes of you is a fate worse then death.

Look dimwit, once you accept Jesus, you'll see that you and I are much more similar than you can imagine. I daresay you and I share more similarities than differences right now, even though you live a life devoid of the grace of God and I am wrapped close to His righteous bosom, steeped in His divine love as we speak.

You're one of those fools that thinks he's too "cool" for Heaven. I've seen your type many times before. You think you're a loner, a rebel, that the world of "squares" is beneath you. But that's where your wrong!

Heaven is the "heppest" place in the universe! It's like a giant VIP room in the most righteous nightclub! And Saint Peter is working the door. If you're not on his list, you're not getting in, no matter how "down" or "with it" you are.

As a matter of fact, "down" is where you'll be headed, to spend eternity in the Lake of Fire, where there are no two-for-one drink specials and it's NEVER Ladies Night!

[Nobar King]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

Boy, you got all of that wrong, really wrong.

[Forest_dweller]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

Captain, it is not eternal bliss if you are there. Spending an eternity with the likes of you is a fate worse then death.

Zeke, some of the other ways to get into heaven would be shown to you if you bothered to read further then Leviticus.
Call that self respect? Thats a willful act of submission! I have free will so I can do whatever the hell I want and you can just watch!

Jenny, the gift of eternal life is a curse. It is a gift like getting killed by a train is a gift. Any God would understand. Humans are mortals! Accept it and you will not have to waste the only life you have (and will ever get) on searching for the gift of eternity. Thats what the alchemists did. They wasted away searching for the philosopher's stone, some of them wasted their entire adult lives. And what did they get? Nothing but a hole 6 feet deep to bury their dreams.

Zeke, I'm looking forward to the day when you get proven wrong. There is no eternity. And if there was, I choose eternal death.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

I'm telling you, Jesus is not the only way into heaven. Way to many loopholes to use (I tell you, I could have made a killing as a lawyer)...

So tell us. What are the non-Jesus ways into Heaven, mr. slimey joo lawyer wannabe?

And either way, I'm not super worried. If it happens, well then I'm going to hell. So? At least I enjoyed my life here, and I'm not going to be kissing God's sandles begging. I respect myself a bit more then that.

If you had any self-respect, you'd be on your knees right now begging Jesus to wash your sins clean with His blood.

Personally, I can't wait to watch you burn in hell.

[JennyD]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

Ahh, Forrest Gump. You believe in the secular/popular notion of Hell as a place of caverns that happen to be very warm. Sort of like a shopping mall in Southern California when the A/C is broken. As depicted in that movie, "Little Nicky".

Sorry.

The Bible describes Hell. It is a vast lake of fire, which burns eternally.

Those cast into it suffer for all time, and never die.

So, congratulations. You get the gift of eternal life, whether you like it or not! But you'll be on fire the whole time. Oops.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Peter Ezekiel

Oh yeah? I regret nothing! If I'm in hell, I'll make sure to remember the good times. Heck, I'll even try to argue with God (I hear he is fun at debates).

Maybe I'll pull out a cigar, look at Satan, and say, "Hey, you got a light?" and then laugh harder then hell! (pun intended)

But seriously, demons skinning me? Sounds like something that might have happened in the middle ages. Back then it was "god's people" calling the shots, and I must say, too many people died.

How old are you son? 16 or maybe 17? Imagine, from the day you were born, until now. Now I know someone with a sickular mind like you has difficulty with abstract concepts they have not experienced first hand, so I'll keep this simple.

So from the day of your birth until now, imagine being in the most excruciating pain, like having burning hot irons shoved under your finger nails, except the pain is over your entire body. And this pain is not only unceasing, but it is getting incrementally more intense with each passing moment.

OK, are you imagining it? Now multiply it by a thousand and you are at about one millionth of the intensity level of torment you will receive in Hell.

And it won't go on for 16 or 17 years, but a million times a million times a MILLION!!! And then it starts all over again! And it goes on FOREVER!!!

Ask Satan for a light? Pah! You're brain will have nothing to do but scream it's agony as your flesh becomes one enflamed mass of PAIN beyond imagining!

And all because you couldn't be bothered to follow Jesus for the blink of an eye that you were on the earth. And it isn't like you weren't warned. As a matter of fact, you are being warned right now!

Repent son, come to Jesus and be SAVED!!! Enternal bliss awaits!