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  • BeforeTheAsylum
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Jan 2009
    • 1
    #1

    hello, I'd like to introduce myself

    Hmmm...not really sure what to say. I don't even remember how I found this website. But It was different and gave me a laugh. Well I'm a 16 year old female. I enjoy video games, reading, watching tv, listening to music, and partying. I go don't go to church often, but when I do it's a Babtist church. Where do I stand with God? I'm saved, but honestly I'm a bad Christian. I don't often bear the "fruits of salvation." And just so you'll have something to badmouth me for : I've stolen, i smoke, drink, like piercings and admire tatoos, I'm bisexual, I'm a fornicator, I'm sadomasochist, and am friends with a satanist. But I also believe God forgives, and though i shouldn't sin, I know he'll forgive me. While I'm on this earth I plan to make the most of it, and find myself.
    Tags: None
    • Youth Pastor Marty
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 365
      #2
      Re: hello, I'd like to introduce myself

      Originally posted by BeforeTheAsylum View Post
      While I'm on this earth I plan to make the most of it, and find myself...
      ...in Hell.

      Matthew 13:41-43 The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth. Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.

        Comment

        • Nobar King
          Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
          Christ's Guardian
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2007
          • 23748
          #3
          Re: hello, I'd like to introduce myself

          That's quite an introduction. You've come to the right place to repent your sins. There are many shoulders here to cry on, but you will only be welcome here if you have Jesus in your heart.
          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

            Comment

            • Ezekiel Bathfire
              Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
              Christ's Rottweiler
               
              • Jan 2008
              • 22895
              #4
              Re: hello, I'd like to introduce myself

              Sorry, you're too young, come back in 2 years if Jesus permits you to carry on with your reprobate lifestyle.
              sigpic


              “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

              Author of such illuminating essays as,
              Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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