I believe I should have made one of these earlier.

[Max Bayes]

You will have to excuse my delay to introducing myself to my brothers here at Landover. My name is Gregg Bayes. Originally, I was brought to this website by an Atheist who had somehow managed to takeover my body and mind. His aim was to make me post slanderous things about Our Saviour. Fortunately, The Lord gave me the strength to smite my foe. Truly, the Lord works in mysterious ways as this Atheist and his Satanic magic has merely brought me closer to God.

I have been here a while, but just got elevated to Member, so I thought I'd simply offer a greeting to my as-yet-unknown brothers and sisters.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: I believe I should have made one of these earlier.

Welcome, Gregg! It sounds like your atheist (forgive me Jesus) "friend" is long overdue to have a gun cleaning accident! ANTICIPATING MOTHER GLENDORA

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: I believe I should have made one of these earlier.

Welcome Gregg! Tell us more about your sin-filled life and the various debaucheries you committed before being filled with the Truth and Light that is Jesus Christ!

[Max Bayes]

Re: I believe I should have made one of these earlier.

Alas, Mother Glendora, I live in the Godless U.K.! There are no guns to be cleaned in this God-forsaken land! Do not fret though. I'm sure in time that the Lord will both take vengence on this sinner and disprove his entire lack of belief all in one holy swoop.

[D'Arlene Sepkowitz]

Re: I believe I should have made one of these earlier.

You will have to excuse my delay to introducing myself to my brothers here at Landover. My name is Gregg Bayes. Originally, I was brought to this website by an Atheist who had somehow managed to takeover my body and mind. His aim was to make me post slanderous things about Our Saviour. Fortunately, The Lord gave me the strength to smite my foe. Truly, the Lord works in mysterious ways as this Atheist and his Satanic magic has merely brought me closer to God.

I have been here a while, but just got elevated to Member, so I thought I'd simply offer a greeting to my as-yet-unknown brothers and sisters.

Hi Greg! We always welcome unsaved trash who have seen the error of their ways. Please tell us more about yourself. Where do you bank, what are your routing and account numbers? Get the formalities out of the way now so we have time to visit on Sunday.

[Nobar King]

Re: I believe I should have made one of these earlier.

Have you lived in England all of your life?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I believe I should have made one of these earlier.

Welcome to God's favorite forum, Gregg. I hope you'll look around and find Jesus here. Can I assume that you've read through THIS thread by now?

Tell me, are you one of those chinless English men who boils his beef and has rotten teeth? We hear a lot about you people over here in God's favorite country. Have you applied for your Godly Green Card yet?

[Max Bayes]

Re: I believe I should have made one of these earlier.

Indeed I have read the threat, Zeke. Fortunately, I am half of Scandinavian descent, half Irish. Boiling beef, rotten teeth and being sans chin is just an ailment that affects the various plebeians that infest these shores. It is most likely a curse for turning their back on God in so many different ways over the past two millennia that they have lost count. I dream of the day that God smiles on me and sends me my Green Card.

I lived in England most of my life, yes Nobar. However, I have spent the past few years living in the mountains of Wales. It is the only place I could escape the heretic and the football hooligan. Alas, D'Arlene, the UK is a country so hell bent on political correctness (aka Satan Worship) that my bank account was taken from me, and given to a family of Somali drug dealers that had been illegally smuggled into the country.

And Capt. Portway, my past sins have been plentiful. But let us not dwell on the past, not when my future with Jesus is so bright!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: I believe I should have made one of these earlier.

Fortunately, I am half of Scandinavian descent, half Irish.

I see nothing "Fortunate" about this

[…] Alas, D'Arlene, the UK is a country so hell bent on political correctness (aka Satan Worship) that my bank account was taken from me, and given to a family of Somali drug dealers that had been illegally smuggled into the country.

Thank you for that witnessing, I hope you see proof absolute of the Presence of God in your post.

You are suffering (unto the 10th generation) for the sins of your forefathers – clearly some Godless Swede (how can a nation named after a root vegetable ever be Saved™?) and papist Mick inflicted themselves on England sometime in the 16th century. This is Godly Justice, surely the Somali drug dealer is the modern-day equivalent of your ancestors?