Hello from a lonely soul in Scotland.

[Roo1968]

Was drawn here by your messages of hope in times of need & desperation. Didn't see any messages for self loathing, but I'm still looking.

I read some of your posts & appreciate your frankness & forthrightness.

Just wanted to say hello really.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Hello from a lonely soul in Scotland.

Was drawn here by your messages of hope in times of need & desperation. Didn't see any messages for self loathing, but I'm still looking.

I read some of your posts & appreciate your frankness & forthrightness.

Just wanted to say hello really.

Welcome friend. You came to the Right Place(R). Baby Jesus was whispering your name, and you heard Him GLORY!

Please tell us a bit more about yourself. The church you currently attend, your many sins, the story of your life, the credit card with which you will be Tithing to us.

We are only here to help you find the path to glory!

PS: can we call you just "Roo"?

[Roo1968]

Re: Hello from a lonely soul in Scotland.

Thank you for your hospitable words.

I attend no church as I know those within would see me for what I am. A foul creature with no future other than a reservation in hell. I deserve that & long for death so I can face my sins & the pain I have inflicted on others.

If I wasn't such a pathetic coward, I would have slit my own throat to haste the inevitable.

My sins?

How long have you got?

[Nobar King]

Re: Hello from a lonely soul in Scotland.

How long have you got?

Jesus has forever, friend, or until you die, or the Rapture, which ever comes first. Might as well start now.

[Roo1968]

Re: Hello from a lonely soul in Scotland.

Ok, you asked for it.

Being a mildly disturbed child, I was dispatched to a boarding school at the age of 9, where we were encouraged to take part in homosexual acts with other students. Google The Old Rectory, Banham BBC for all the delicious details should you so desire.

I used to pray for my parents every night, even from that age. I never hated them for what happened to me until I left & saw that life was not as I had been promised by God during my nightly prayers. It's not Gods fault. I should've ended it there by terminating my existance like a decent Christian.

Anyway, I digress.

You could be forgiven for reading the above & come to the conclusion "ah, here we go, he's going to blame his sins on prior abuse". Well, let me stop you right there & reassure you that I'm not blaming anybody or anything except the foul demon inside me for the sins I'm about to detail.

The 1st sin that I want to share with anyone who is reading this diatribe is that I ENJOYED THE ABUSE. Yes, that's right, I actually enjoyed participating in the homosexual GAY sex with the teachers & other children. Not straight away though I should add. It took a few years before I sexually developed & was able to physically participate in the acts.

Ok, now that you've wiped the vomit from your screens, allow me to continue.

From the age of around 13, I took to torturing & killing animals & birds. I used to look for nests & crush the baby chicks with my bare hands. I don't know why I did this. It gave me some form of power I guess. I didn't feel guilty at all about it. Guilt was to come much later in life with all its delicious effects. Oh Jesus thank you for the gift of guilt & loathing. It's like a mini-Hell, a kind of "try before you buy" version of Hell if you will.


Ok, so not long after that (say about 14), I began abusing solvents. In fact, pretty much anything that could drive the monotony of life away from my warped reality. I don't really know if that's a sin or not, but I'm pretty sure Jesus would not approve.

I left school at 16 (barely educated) & began a 20 year campaign of theft, dishonesty (to myself as well as others), substance abuse (alcohol, drugs - you name it). I would steal & deceive my own family even. I really had no limits of depravity.

By now, the scales were being balanced. Jesus was asking for his payment. It was time to pay the bill. He started with cancer. Oh the irony, so absolutely perfect. He chose testicular cancer Seriously, he demanded (& got) my left testicle Brilliant hey. Only the Lord could deliver such a bill with perfect justification! I love him more for that than anything & I haven't even met him yet.

Oh, but that's minor for when he presents the main bill. That one is going to be a doozy when it lands on my mat. He's not done with the cancer yet though (Thank you Jesus), he got bored of the sex organs & moved onto the oesophagus. The lining of my fundus to be exact.

That may pave the way to early damnation, I'll have to wait & see.

Anyway, more sins to be uncovered Roo.

Adultery - yes, as hard as it may be to believe, even a monster like me can find a Woman who will love me. I don't know why. She bore me two daughters but even that wasn't enough for me to remain faithful. If it wasn't other women I was cheating her with, it would be an addiction to pornography & masturbation.

So, I'm 40 now & the time is up. I want to meet Jesus & ask him to hate me. I want to die knowing that even the most forgiving, loving & wholesome being will detest me.

Thank you for reading this. I don't want to be made to feel better (fat chance) I want you to hate me too I want this to be an example to any young person than may happen upon this post, that the path to damnation starts early, real early

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Hello from a lonely soul in Scotland.

Jesus won't hate you if you beg for forgiveness NOW! You may not have too much longer and it's better not to put these things off. But if you kill youself, you'll live forever in a burning lake of fire.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Hello from a lonely soul in Scotland.

Without being judgmental, I see you as God punishing you for your misdeeds. The essence of your sinning is that you knew it was a sin and continued.

That you now seek the Warm Blood of The Lam, which may gush over you and wash away your sins is a sign that you realize the enormity of all you have done.

You know, don’t you, that you were guided here by Jesus to be saved? He is not usually so pro-active; it is the sinner who must seek Him out, rather than He the sinner.

Now is the time for Salvation™ Now, at a time when all hope seems lost, is the time to open your heart and accept Jesus.

And talking of opening things, have you made a will? If not, PM any Pastor who will be able to supply you with a “Landover Godly Donation Will Form” valid and binding in all states except The Vatican and North Korea. I only mention this as you will regret it if you commit suicide and have not thought of God.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello from a lonely soul in Scotland.

Through Jesus, all things are possible! Even a foul wretch like you can be washed clean of sin in His sweet blood. Read THIS for information on God's Plan for your Salvation!

If He can give you the gift of speaking American, despite the handicap of being a dress-wearing Scotsman, then anything is possible!!