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  • Thebi Bill
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • May 2009
    • 4

    #1

    Greeting to my brothers and sisters!

    I have travelled (well, clicked) far and wide on this sprawling interweb, full of licentious sin and vice, and nowhere did I find God's True Grace.

    Until, that is, I found myself here! I knew from the moment the homepage loaded that I was among True Christians™ at last, a true fellowship embraced by God's Love (also ™). I know not why the Lord chose to send me walking in the desert for so long, but He did finally direct me here to bask in his glory with my true family. I'm sure it is all part of His plan.

    God's children, Greetings!

    Thebi
    If you do not believe in Jesus, If you live in sin, If you are a GODDAMN HOMO, or an ATHEIST, or a CATHOLIC, you WILL burn in HELL for all ETERNITY! These are not simply statements, this is the GOSPEL TRUTH.
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Re: Greeting to my brothers and sisters!

    Please tell us about youself, pal. How did you come to find Jesus? What church do you attend?
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • Thebi Bill
      Unsaved trash
      Under Investigation
      • May 2009
      • 4

      #3
      Re: Greeting to my brothers and sisters!

      I was born into a family of sinful atheists I have long since disavowed. Picking up a bible at age 15 (my mother had spitefully kept such books from me, since she hates and fears the Lord with all her heart) I was born again, and was baptised upon joining a local presbyterian order. Later, I became dissatisfied with their lack of adherence to God's Word, specifically their tolerence of several acts that God plainly states to be an abomination to him.
      Morover, they permitted Women to speak in the church, even to become pastors and preach the Gospel! Surely they will all be damned to hell for this.


      It is so hard to find True Christians these days, Satan has a foothold in every heart. But I remain positive that such networks as these will one day unit God's Children in His love, bringing joy to all and Rapture in our time.

      Bless you,
      Thebi
      If you do not believe in Jesus, If you live in sin, If you are a GODDAMN HOMO, or an ATHEIST, or a CATHOLIC, you WILL burn in HELL for all ETERNITY! These are not simply statements, this is the GOSPEL TRUTH.

      Comment

      • Bob4God
        Moderator
        Arms Dealer for CHRIST
        Hands folded for Jesus
         
        • Apr 2008
        • 5274

        #4
        Re: Greeting to my brothers and sisters!

        If you're looking for fellowship with True Christians, you've found it! We follow the Bible, the WHOLE Bible at Landover Baptist! Praise!

        What is your favorite witnessing technique?
        sigpic
        The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
        - Proverbs 15:3

        CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


        CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


        Comment

        • Thebi Bill
          Unsaved trash
          Under Investigation
          • May 2009
          • 4

          #5
          Re: Greeting to my brothers and sisters!

          Originally posted by Bob4God View Post
          If you're looking for fellowship with True Christians, you've found it! We follow the Bible, the WHOLE Bible at Landover Baptist! Praise!

          What is your favorite witnessing technique?
          Praise be to Jesus.

          When it comes to converting the infidel or the heretic, a simple rational explanation of why God's Word is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I expand gently on the horrors that await them as the damned in the bowels of Hell, and point out all that they do that pains God so greatly. Satan, alas, holds a firm grasp on the souls of the unfaithful, and to date, though I pray for God's strength He has not yet granted me the power to drive Evil from their immortal heart.

          Which method have you found most effective, brother?
          If you do not believe in Jesus, If you live in sin, If you are a GODDAMN HOMO, or an ATHEIST, or a CATHOLIC, you WILL burn in HELL for all ETERNITY! These are not simply statements, this is the GOSPEL TRUTH.

          Comment

          • Bob4God
            Moderator
            Arms Dealer for CHRIST
            Hands folded for Jesus
             
            • Apr 2008
            • 5274

            #6
            Re: Greeting to my brothers and sisters!

            Originally posted by Thebi Bill View Post
            Which method have you found most effective, brother?
            I engage in a very dangerous form of ministry as an inner-city evangelist. This means I travel into the heart of Des Moines and face some of the most horrifying examples of satanic human trash in the country! (It's gotten even more dangerous since gay marriage was legalized, let me tell you! I now carry mace and a .357 magnum.)

            I always keep my oversize KJV with me in case I have to smack a sinner to get them to understand GOD's love, and you'd be surprised how effective it can be!

            I am also a huge proponent of door-to-door evangelism.
            sigpic
            The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
            - Proverbs 15:3

            CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


            CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


            Comment

            • Ezekiel Bathfire
              Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
              Christ's Rottweiler
               
              • Jan 2008
              • 22938

              #7
              Re: Greeting to my brothers and sisters!

              Welcome Thebi Bill, you ask after witnessing:

              Job:29:2: Oh that I were as in months past, as in the days when God preserved me;
              Job:29:3: When his candle shined upon my head, and when by his light I walked through darkness;
              Job:29:4: As I was in the days of my youth, when the secret of God was upon my tabernacle;

              Those verses sum up why I prefer the reasoned argument approach. My hair is gray, my eyes are dim and I no longer am the firebrand I once was.

              I feel that instilling the Fear of God into the young – His Mercy set lightly against His rich history of Awesome and Uncompromising Wrath - sets in a child’s mind the need for Jesus’ Love. As they grow older and are released into freedom, the memory lingers with them and guides them in all they do.
              sigpic


              “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

              Author of such illuminating essays as,
              Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

              Comment

              • Thebi Bill
                Unsaved trash
                Under Investigation
                • May 2009
                • 4

                #8
                Re: Greeting to my brothers and sisters!

                Thank you for your words of welcome and advice, everyone.

                Now I must sleep, and prepare myself for God's new day

                Thebi
                If you do not believe in Jesus, If you live in sin, If you are a GODDAMN HOMO, or an ATHEIST, or a CATHOLIC, you WILL burn in HELL for all ETERNITY! These are not simply statements, this is the GOSPEL TRUTH.

                Comment

                • Max Bayes
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Mar 2009
                  • 302

                  #9
                  Re: Greeting to my brothers and sisters!

                  Welcome Thebi. Did you take your profile picture whilst on a holiday to Italy per chance? Or more accurately, a certain hellbound city/country within Italy's borders?
                  BEHOLD!!!
                  THE BUS TO DAMNATION!
                  sigpic
                  May Jesus guide this Bus off a cliff and STRAIGHT TO HELL!

                  Comment

                  • Brother Temperance
                    Senior Usher
                    True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                    A very nice young man
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 15621

                    #10
                    Re: Greeting to my brothers and sisters!

                    Praise Jesus and welcome aboard, friend. It's always good to find someone who doesn't totally hate Our Lord.
                    O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                    God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                    Comment

                    • Nurse Clampett
                      Jesus's Favorite Nurse
                      Forum Member
                      • Jan 2009
                      • 974

                      #11
                      Re: Greeting to my brothers and sisters!

                      Originally posted by Thebi Bill View Post
                      Praise be to Jesus.

                      When it comes to converting the infidel or the heretic, a simple rational explanation of why God's Word is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I expand gently on the horrors that await them as the damned in the bowels of Hell, and point out all that they do that pains God so greatly. Satan, alas, holds a firm grasp on the souls of the unfaithful, and to date, though I pray for God's strength He has not yet granted me the power to drive Evil from their immortal heart.

                      Which method have you found most effective, brother?
                      That's so beautiful! You sound full of the Lord's love and compassion!
                      Luke 5:31
                      And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick

                      Comment

                      • Ugly_Kid_Joe
                        True Christian™
                        True Christian™
                        • Mar 2009
                        • 272

                        #12
                        Re: Greeting to my brothers and sisters!

                        Welcome friend
                        I do hope you enjoy your stay!

                        Comment

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