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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556
    #91
    Re: Hello...

    Originally posted by Claire View Post
    My cats are guaranteed a place in heaven. They have never wronged anyone.
    Kindly post the Scripture that says cats go to Heaven.

    That's blasphemy, girl. Better watch your mouth. No one wants to clean litter boxes in Heaven.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Claire
        Unsaved trash
        • Jun 2009
        • 51
        #92
        Re: Hello...

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        Kindly post the Scripture that says cats go to Heaven.

        That's blasphemy, girl. Better watch your mouth. No one wants to clean litter boxes in Heaven.

        I don't need scripture to prove that cats go to heaven. Although now I'm not quite sure if I want myself or my cats to go to heaven. If heaven is going to be populated by people like you, I think that the suffering in hell would be far more tolerable.
        But I would have you know, that the head of every woman is Christ; and the head of the man is the woman; and the head of Christ is God. - Corinthians 11:3

          Comment

          • Nobar King
            Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
            Christ's Guardian
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2007
            • 23748
            #93
            Re: Hello...

            You might want to review this thread.
            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

              Comment

              • Pastor Ezekiel
                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                 
                • Sep 2006
                • 78556
                #94
                Re: Hello...

                Originally posted by Claire View Post
                I don't need scripture to prove that cats go to heaven. Although now I'm not quite sure if I want myself or my cats to go to heaven. If heaven is going to be populated by people like you, I think that the suffering in hell would be far more tolerable.
                You reject Jesus and the Bible but claim that Heaven is real? Based on what?
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • Nurse Clampett
                    Jesus's Favorite Nurse
                    Forum Member
                    • Jan 2009
                    • 974
                    #95
                    Re: Hello...

                    Originally Posted by Claire
                    My cats are guaranteed a place in heaven. They have never wronged anyone.
                    I was once a cat person. I went to the Phillippines to obtain one of my medical "licenses" and found Socks. He used to hang out around a restaurant I frequented. Cute little kitty that he was! After dinner one night I went looking for him to give him some dinner scraps. When I asked the restaurant owner where Socks was so I could feed him the guy just laughed in my face.
                    It turned out my scraps were in fact, Socks. The bastards boiled him up and had me eat him without my knowing it.
                    Please don't bring up cats again, Claire. It gives me nightmares.
                    Luke 5:31
                    And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick

                      Comment

                      • Brother Jessup
                        Forum Member
                        Forum Member
                        • Jun 2009
                        • 137
                        #96
                        Re: Hello...

                        Originally posted by Claire View Post
                        If heaven is going to be populated by people like you, I think that the suffering in hell would be far more tolerable.
                        Don't worry sinner. In your case, eternal damnation is a certainty.








                        The Honorable Brother Jessup T. Lloyd, Esq. has spoke.........Amen!
                        The Lord’s Hang’n Judge – convicting the wicked and condemning the heretic!

                        And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. (Revelation 19:11)

                          Comment

                          • Claire
                            Unsaved trash
                            • Jun 2009
                            • 51
                            #97
                            Re: Hello...

                            Originally posted by Nurse Clampett View Post
                            I was once a cat person. I went to the Phillippines to obtain one of my medical "licenses" and found Socks. He used to hang out around a restaurant I frequented. Cute little kitty that he was! After dinner one night I went looking for him to give him some dinner scraps. When I asked the restaurant owner where Socks was so I could feed him the guy just laughed in my face.
                            It turned out my scraps were in fact, Socks. The bastards boiled him up and had me eat him without my knowing it.
                            Please don't bring up cats again, Claire. It gives me nightmares.

                            That's horrible, Nurse Clampett! I'm so sorry that happened!
                            But I would have you know, that the head of every woman is Christ; and the head of the man is the woman; and the head of Christ is God. - Corinthians 11:3

                              Comment

                              • Noodlelover
                                Confirmed Enemy of God
                                • Jun 2009
                                • 11
                                #98
                                Re: Hello...

                                Originally posted by Claire View Post
                                That's horrible, Nurse Clampett! I'm so sorry that happened!
                                Claire,

                                You seem to be a good and sensitive person. Don't be fooled by their trickery. That particular story was more than likely fabricated to play on your emotions.

                                IMHO your cats are experiencing heaven right now, because of their master and because of the love they get from her!!

                                I wish you all the best in your studies, and I'm pretty sure you will do good!

                                Take care!

                                Noodlelover

                                  Comment

                                  • Claire
                                    Unsaved trash
                                    • Jun 2009
                                    • 51
                                    #99
                                    Re: Hello...

                                    Originally posted by Noodlelover View Post
                                    Claire,

                                    You seem to be a good and sensitive person. Don't be fooled by their trickery. That particular story was more than likely fabricated to play on your emotions.

                                    IMHO your cats are experiencing heaven right now, because of their master and because of the love they get from her!!

                                    I wish you all the best in your studies, and I'm pretty sure you will do good!

                                    Take care!

                                    Noodlelover

                                    Well, you could be right, but at the same time, Nurse Clampett seems to have more sense than people like Pastor Butthurt - I mean Ezekiel - and his little cronies.

                                    Anyway, thank you for your kind words (and I sent you a friend request)
                                    But I would have you know, that the head of every woman is Christ; and the head of the man is the woman; and the head of Christ is God. - Corinthians 11:3

                                      Comment

                                      • Ezekiel Bathfire
                                        Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                                        Christ's Rottweiler
                                         
                                        • Jan 2008
                                        • 22912
                                        #100
                                        Re: Hello...

                                        Claire, beware fo Noodlelover and his fondness for cats - what do you think the meatballs of his 'god' are made of?
                                        sigpic


                                        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                                        Author of such illuminating essays as,
                                        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                                          Comment

                                          • Professor Bessemer
                                            Professor of Creation Science at Landover University
                                            Certified Ex-Gay Program Graduate
                                            Darwin's Worst Nightmare
                                            True Christian™
                                            • May 2009
                                            • 2952
                                            #101
                                            Re: Hello...

                                            Originally posted by Claire View Post
                                            Well, you could be right, but at the same time, Nurse Clampett seems to have more sense than people like Pastor Butthurt - I mean Ezekiel - and his little cronies.

                                            Anyway, thank you for your kind words (and I sent you a friend request)
                                            Listen Claire, or should I call you Fake Adam, or shaihuludiscool, you and your little wanna-be thread hijacker friends like RPfag are no longer welcome on our boards!

                                            You think trolling for Christians is fun, that it's a kick? I pity you, you sorry little trollette. Keep up the lies if you want your personal info spread all over our Godly boards!
                                            Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


                                            sigpic

                                            Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

                                            Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

                                              Comment

                                              • Mad Prophet Helmholtz
                                                Recovering Outpatient From The Landover Rehabilitation Unit
                                                Forum Member
                                                • May 2009
                                                • 666
                                                #102
                                                Re: Hello...

                                                Originally posted by Claire View Post
                                                My cats are guaranteed a place in heaven. They have never wronged anyone.
                                                Your cats will BURN IN HELL.



                                                Silly little girl...were you just watching that insipid cartoon movie "All Dogs Go to Heaven" and were religiously inspired by it or something?
                                                sigpic
                                                SPACESHIP JESUS appeared to me in Astronaut form when I was staying in a motel in 1974. He then told me the TRUTH about our world and what illusions the SATANIC ALLIANCE uses to control us! To this day, I still receive SPACESHIP RADIO SIGNALS INTO MY BRAIN. Absolve yourself of your limited Matrix existence.

                                                Hosea 9:7
                                                The days of visitation are come, the days of recompence are come; Israel shall know it: the prophet is a fool, the spiritual man is mad, for the multitude of thine iniquity, and the great hatred.

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Claire
                                                    Unsaved trash
                                                    • Jun 2009
                                                    • 51
                                                    #103
                                                    Re: Hello...

                                                    Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                                                    Claire, beware fo Noodlelover and his fondness for cats - what do you think the meatballs of his 'god' are made of?

                                                    Why should I beware someone who has a fondness for cats? In case you haven't realized I ALSO have a fondness for cats!
                                                    But I would have you know, that the head of every woman is Christ; and the head of the man is the woman; and the head of Christ is God. - Corinthians 11:3

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Noodlelover
                                                        Confirmed Enemy of God
                                                        • Jun 2009
                                                        • 11
                                                        #104
                                                        Re: Hello...

                                                        Originally posted by Claire View Post
                                                        Well, you could be right, but at the same time, Nurse Clampett seems to have more sense than people like Pastor Butthurt - I mean Ezekiel - and his little cronies.

                                                        Anyway, thank you for your kind words (and I sent you a friend request)
                                                        The kind words were nothing less than heartfelt! Thanks for the friend request, I accepted and did the same towards you. But when I did, the site was getting slow and buggy...

                                                        Just do me one favour and be carefull over here, ok? I would hate for a young girl like you to get hurt over here, and some people here are quite capable of it. To use their words: they use foul and ungodly language and are not affraid to hurt people.

                                                        Take care of yourself and your cats girl!!

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Professor Bessemer
                                                            Professor of Creation Science at Landover University
                                                            Certified Ex-Gay Program Graduate
                                                            Darwin's Worst Nightmare
                                                            True Christian™
                                                            • May 2009
                                                            • 2952
                                                            #105
                                                            Re: Hello...

                                                            Originally posted by Claire View Post
                                                            Why should I beware someone who has a fondness for cats? In case you haven't realized I ALSO have a fondness for cats!
                                                            And for lying:

                                                            Originally posted by Lying little wanna-be /b/tard claire
                                                            I certainly hope the site’s not dead. If I recall correctly, there was another time that the domain name was up for sale, but then the site was back up that same day. Perhaps the money simply wasn’t paid on time, or Adam Nelson didn’t suck somebody off on time, or something. Seriously, though, I love arguing with religious fundies, even if they really do piss me off to no end most of the time.
                                                            Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


                                                            sigpic

                                                            Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

                                                            Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

                                                              Comment

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