An introduction...

[R-R-R]

Hello dear people of Landover,

In another thread Paster Ezekiel suggested/requisted that I post an introduction topic, so here it is. I'm a 20 year old white male from Europe, and I'm here as a result of some recent changes in my life... I'm not sure what else y'all want to know, so instead of writing elaborate stories I suggest people post questions with what they want to know about me.

I look forward to any comments that may come,

R-R-R

[Larry Lee]

Re: An introduction...

Hello dear people of Landover,

In another thread Paster Ezekiel suggested/requisted that I post an introduction topic, so here it is. I'm a 20 year old white male from Europe, and I'm here as a result of some recent changes in my life...

I try to have a sympathetic ear for cases like yours ... looking on the bright side and all of that. Thus, I assume your having washed up on our shores of this, God's favorite Church, bodes well for our collection plate, which is to say you are NOT another confused Euro youth, desperate for pro-bono admittance to Landover's Ex-Gay Therapy Clinic and Hospice Ministry, where Brother Ted's recent transformation occurred, are you?

[R-R-R]

Re: An introduction...

you are NOT another confused Euro youth, desperate for pro-bono admittance to Landover's Ex-Gay Therapy Clinic and Hospice Ministry, where Brother Ted's recent transformation occurred, are you?

Well, I am an Euro youth I suppose, considering the location... Yet I'm not confused, and surely not desperate for admittance to any Clinic or Ministry. Does this answer your question Mr. Lee?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: An introduction...

Well, I am an Euro youth I suppose, considering the location... Yet I'm not confused, and surely not desperate for admittance to any Clinic or Ministry. Does this answer your question Mr. Lee?

Friend,

Maybe we should start with your statement; yet, the truth is you probably feel you do not need to be saved or do you feel confused but we here at Landover deal with the higher truth that we call THE TRUTH™. THE TRUTH™ is friend you are confused and desperately seeking The Lord and want us to help you no matter what the cost is to you in pain, suffering and money.

Well friend now that we cleared that up the good news is we, with Jesus, are here to help to help you reach Him. GLORY!

[Star Finder]

Re: An introduction...

Hi and welcome to the site.

You should be aware that rock-worshipping services are also available if you don't like the whole christ on a stick thing.

Really cool babes, waterfalls from cliffs and homebrew are yours for agreeing to worship the SUN and some special rocks I have.

and welcome anyway if not. Don't forget to hit the paypal button before you do anything.

.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: An introduction...

May I ask what RRR stands for?

I hope it isn't sinful.

Lve, Sister Thumper

[R-R-R]

Re: An introduction...

Hi and welcome to the site.

Thanks...

THE TRUTH™ is friend you are confused and desperately seeking The Lord and want us to help you

You might have a point there...

May I ask what RRR stands for?

Of coarse you may... It's short for "Rebuked, Repented, Reborn". I've been thinking a lot lately about the Lord and how/where He is in my life. In the past He didn't seem very present or even existent at all, yet the past few weeks I became under the impression He is indeed watching. Hence the latter R... It's an attempt to express an attitude of openness, of willingless to learn about Jesus.

That's also why I came here, as Mr. Bobby Joe suggested, to try to find a way to cope with these changes, and perhaps even get some advice as well from you kind on His favourite site.

PS: I tried to make a single post, to keep the thread a bit tidy. I hope this one answered the most recent questions, if not, let me know.

[Star Finder]

Re: An introduction...

Of coarse you may

that sounds a bit er, "course"?

Are you European?

SF

[R-R-R]

Re: An introduction...

that sounds a bit er, "course"?

Are you European?

SF

Yes, I intended to say 'of course'. As a result of trying to respond in a swift manner I may occasionally overlook typing errors. My apologies.

And to answer your latter question... I am indeed an European.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: An introduction...

"Rebuked, Repented, Reborn".

Beautiful Brother!

I Love it!

Lve, Sister Thumper

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: An introduction...

Hello dear people of Landover,

In another thread Paster Ezekiel suggested/requisted that I post an introduction topic, so here it is. I'm a 20 year old white male from Europe, and I'm here as a result of some recent changes in my life... I'm not sure what else y'all want to know, so instead of writing elaborate stories I suggest people post questions with what they want to know about me.

I look forward to any comments that may come,

R-R-R

Welcome to the lobotomy TC-izing hopefuls queue.
Please leave your bank account details with the nice doctors on your way to the lobotomy ward landover orientation center.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: An introduction...

Friend;

Thank you for following my advice. We all like to get to know the folks that Jesus calls to our Godly forum. I'm so sorry to hear that you are one of those europeans.

Since you have yet to reveal much about yourself, I will ask you a few questions in the hope that it will inspire you to bare yourself to Christ.

Are you a homer? So many of you europeans are. God really does hate that, so if you are a pervert like most europeans, then you'll need to sign up for one of our LBC treatment programs.

Are you a wiccian witch pagan gothtard? If so, Jesus hates you for that too. We can help steer you onto the right path if you will open up your heart (and bank account) to Christ.

Have you ever read the Holy Bible? If so, which version? Are you one of those mary worshiping catlickers that are so rampant over there in europeanland? God really hates that too, as those ring-kissers aren't even Christian.

Please share with us exactly the nature of the crisis in your life that has lead you here. We want to help, but only your complete and open frankness will allow Jesus to enter your heart. If we can help you eliminate all the reasons that He might hate you, then you may have a chance at Salvation©.

Also, please use the Paypal button at the bottom of this page to express your appreciation to Jesus in the form of U.S. Dollars. Better do it now, because I would hate to see you killed by Jesus while still a heathen eurotrash homer witch.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: An introduction...

Welcome to the lobotomy TC-izing hopefuls queue.
Please leave your bank account details with the nice doctors on your way to the lobotomy ward landover orientation center.

Rachael,

Just because you suffered and accident do to an unfortunate paper work error doesn't mean who have the right to go around scaring people off. Landover helps thousands of people of year grower closer to Christ.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: An introduction...

Rachael,

Just because you suffered and accident do to an unfortunate paper work error doesn't mean who have the right to go around scaring people off. Landover helps thousands of people of year grower closer to Christ.

*Looks up my 'big book of Bobby-Joe-ish*
I assume you meant to say:
Just because you suffered andan accident dodue to an unfortunate paper work error doesn't mean whoyou have the right to go around scaring people off.

Is that what you mean?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: An introduction...

*Looks up my 'big book of Bobby-Joe-ish*
I assume you meant to say:
Just because you suffered andan accident dodue to an unfortunate paper work error doesn't mean who have the right to go around scaring people off.

Is that what you mean?

No, what he meant to say was "Shut your filthy pie hole, witch, and GET THEE HENCE!"

Don't you have a cat to torture or something?