Hello, some questions

[Whatthehellisthis]

Um, ok so I am new to religion and stuff. I never paid attention to it I thought it was always silly. Didn't seem logical to me to follow a set of rules.

So if anyone wants to give me Advantages and Disadvantages to religion and stuff ill appreciate it. Thanks.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Hello, some questions

I'll try to keep it short enough in line with your attention span.

You don't want this:

Have a nice day.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hello, some questions

I suggest reading the KJV 1611 Bible a few times till you understand it.

In a nut shell, God loves you if you obey Him. If you obey Him, you go to heaven when you die and enjoy eternity.
If you are bad, you are dead. Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.
Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.

Your choice.

[Whatthehellisthis]

Re: Hello, some questions

I'll try to keep it short enough in line with your attention span.

You don't want this:

Have a nice day.

What? Why would I burn and such? I don't get it why would that happen? I seem to be a man and I respect my fellow human beings.

To be honest why would some "omnipotent" guy just kill me like that. I don't get it could you go in more detail.

Also, don't insult me like that. It isnt very nice.

[Whatthehellisthis]

Re: Hello, some questions

What? Why would I burn and such? I don't get it why would that happen? I seem to be a man and I respect my fellow human beings.

To be honest why would some "omnipotent" guy just kill me like that. I don't get it could you go in more detail.

Also, don't insult me like that. It isnt very nice.

I suggest reading the KJV 1611 Bible a few tiIf you are bad, you are dead. Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.mes till you understand it.

In a nut shell, God loves you if you obey Him. If you obey Him, you go to heaven when you die and enjoy eternity.

As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.
Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.

Your choice.

Huh, this sounds like a book I read before. Sword of Truth series where Richard gets in the Underworld because he sorta forsake the Creator. It was a great series.

Are you sure you arent trolling me?

[Johnnyboy]

Re: Hello, some questions

Another atheist troll that asks for answers, then totally discounts everthing said. Epic waste of time.

[Whatthehellisthis]

Re: Hello, some questions

Another atheist troll that asks for answers, then totally discounts everthing said. Epic waste of time.

I'm just confused. I just come here for answers and I get some guy who thinks he's better then me and some Roleplayer who reads fantasy novels.

Can I get some serious posts please?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hello, some questions

I'm just confused. I just come here for answers and I get some guy who thinks he's better then me and some Roleplayer who reads fantasy novels.

Can I get some serious posts please?

I did make a serious post for you. Read it. Read the Bible.

[Whatthehellisthis]

Re: Hello, some questions

I did make a serious post for you. Read it. Read the Bible.

You did? I thought you were showing me your new novel. I'd read The Bible but I kinda got bored after Genesis. It just got sooooo boring. Sorry but whoever wrote it really needs more interesting writing skills.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Hello, some questions

You did? I thought you were showing me your new novel. I'd read The Bible but I kinda got bored after Genesis. It just got sooooo boring. Sorry but whoever wrote it really needs more interesting writing skills.

Dear friend:

It's not there to entertain you; it's there to keep you out of hell. Anyway, to answer your question, here's a key teaching:

John 3:16-18: For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

If you have any further questions, we'll be happy to answer them.

[Whatthehellisthis]

Re: Hello, some questions

Dear friend:

It's not there to entertain you; it's there to keep you out of hell. Anyway, to answer your question, here's a key teaching:

John 3:16-18: For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

If you have any further questions, we'll be happy to answer them.

So like, say everyones mind was erased and everyone started again. Like, everyones mind was removed of all knowledge we learned. But we could still manage and be productive and the like.

Would that still matter?

Also like ok. God is all powerful right? Excuse me if I say something wrong here I never really paid attention to religion.

If he made us, why are we flawed? If he can change stuff he can make us perfect and there wouldnt be any bad people that you would hate. We'd all just be with him right? So noone would have to go to hell.

Im just confused

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Hello, some questions

Time to bring out my "Bible in 5 minutes"

If I may summarize:
Prequel God (Jesus, God The Father, and The Holy Spirit – see later) and Lucifer fall out, God makes Satan in charge of Hell

PART I
God creates the earth in 7 days and places Man (Adam) in Eden (look on it as a sort of agreeable Everglades)
God has soft spot for Adam and creates Eve.
Eve is a dumb blonde and is approached by Satan disguised as a snake and eats the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. She also persuades Adam to have a nibble
Adam and Eve are caught out by God and are cursed to become mortal – Eve’s going to have a few problems with childbirth. The snake has to wander the earth on its belly, but at the same time has to be in charge of Hell.
Fast forwards a few hundred generations and mankind has lost the plot. Noah is told to build a very big boat and put all the animals in it (limited admission). It throws it down for quite a while, everyone is drowned.
During voyage Noah is seen to be naked, this causes jigaboos and all the other races on earth.
The races get further mixed up when God decides that language is important and confuses the world with various varieties. (Look upon it as the difference in speech between, say a New Yorker and a Texan, only more so)
The Israelites (symbolically the chosen people) are taken into slavery and Moses (big chap with a beard, and a beard) causes plagues and then parts the Red Sea leads the Israelites out of bondage but “buys the Big One” before he reaches Israel (confusingly called Judah and other names)
Several wars take place, God always wins, millions are slaughtered but the Israelites come out on top as basically they’re God’s Chosen People.
Nebuchadnezzar gets the writing on the wall and is destroyed
Shadrach Meshach and Abednego survive a furnace
Daniel survives the Lions’ Den and
Jonah is swallowed by a whale and survives, all because of God.
Various things are prophesied and come to pass, or will come to pass.
Solomon has loads of wives and is brilliant in the Family Social Work side but eventually let’s himself down by being too lieberal.
David slays Goliath, is a big friend of Jonathan and becomes the best King ever
Other stuff happens and

PART II
near Christmas, Jesus is born.
Jesus is part of the Trinity – He is God but the Son of God and encompasses the Holy Spirit. (This is the bit that requires Faith, as well as a later bit, see below – There is one God and He is Jesus, God The Father and The Holy Spirit.)
The local head honcho, Herod, is a bit disturbed and has all the male kids slain – He misses Jesus.
Jesus grows up and starts to preach. He feeds 5000 with fish sandwiches, cures lepers, madmen, blind, deaf, etc. but by way of an example rather than in the way of a hospital, and he does it for free.
Jesus gets baptized by John the Baptist who later loses his head to Salome.
This is the start of The Baptists.
Jesus says that he has come with a sword to divide everyone and that if you don’t believe in Him you’re hell-bound and should be killed.
Jesus gathers around him 12 men who either record or have their thoughts recorded
Jesus upsets the big joo cheeses and they set Him up as a patsy.
Jesus has The Last Supper with his co-workers and asks them to occasionally think of Him when eating and drinking. He also tells Thomas (one of his friends) that he is a doubter and He knows that Judas will squeal to the Romans and that Peter (a bit of a devil) will carry the church forward.
Jesus was expecting to be crucified and says, “I will return” (McArthur and Schwarzenegger said similar.)
The Roman Head honcho washes his hands and agrees that if the joos say it’s right, it must be and has Him crucified.
This frees mankind from all sin as long as they believe in Him.
3 days later (around Easter) He’s back from the dead.
Everyone’s amazed (except the joos who are somewhat cheesed off.)
Jesus goes to Heaven.
The Apostles (his friends) go around teaching and preaching.

Part III
The pope gets in on the act, decides there’s good business to be had and starts a fake religion called Catlicks.
About 1300 years later King Henry VIII of England, who runs through several wives, gets turned down for a divorce from one of them. He gets pissed off and tells the pope to stuff it where the sun doesn’t shine and starts being a Protestant.
King James gets to be King of England and God thinks this is a good time to correct the silly papist ideas and has James write the Bible KJV1611.
James isn’t as free with his interpretation of the Bible as some might like and a load of people take the boat to America (look on it as a cruise)
These guys bring their wives and children and KJV1611 and found a British Colony.
No-one likes British Taxes and so they dress up an injuns (to lay off the blame) and split with Britain after tipping tea into Boston Harbor (The British think of tea as being next to God, so it’s a big insult)
Everyone of importance is now American, however the North and South fall out.
The south was Godly and right but are defeated.

The rest is history.

The basis of it all is that you believe all of that without question or burn for eternity.
OK, you’re up to speed, get on with it.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Hello, some questions

Are you sure you arent trolling me?

We are on our forum praising God, and then you show up trying to cause trouble by asking silly questions. Do you know what trolling means?

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Hello, some questions

If he made us, why are we flawed? If he can change stuff he can make us perfect and there wouldnt be any bad people that you would hate. We'd all just be with him right? So noone would have to go to hell.

God doesn't want a bunch of automatons who automatically obey Him. He wants people with free will to choose to love and serve Him. Some people will make that choice and others will make the other choice, because God isn't going to force Himself on anyone.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Whatthehellisthis]

Re: Hello, some questions

We are on our forum praising God, and then you show up trying to cause trouble by asking silly questions. Do you know what trolling means?

Silly questions I want answered. You seem to have answers so I want them. I just never cared for religion so why not ask people who are religious about it?