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  • #1

    Hello Godly People

    Hi everybody, my name is Clayton. I'm 33 and I am a Bible believing Christian. I don't attend a church at the moment since the ones where I live are full of Godless garbage. I know I can prove myself worthy to be a member of your church and maybe someday even become a Platinum Tither.
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  • #2
    Re: Hello Godly People

    Originally posted by Clayton Bigsby View Post
    Hi everybody, my name is Clayton. I'm 33 and I am a Bible believing Christian. I don't attend a church at the moment since the ones where I live are full of Godless garbage. I know I can prove myself worthy to be a member of your church and maybe someday even become a Platinum Tither.
    Are you a queer? Most people in California are queers.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Hello Godly People

      Originally posted by Clayton Bigsby View Post
      I don't attend a church at the moment since the ones where I live are full of Godless garbage.
      Then why haven't you started your own God-Fearing church to spread the WORD OF OUR LORD? Don't you want to save those heathens that live near you, or do you just not care about bringing the Good News of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to those in need of salvation? Seems to me you are waiting for someone else to do the heavy lifting so you can just go to a church, sit on your (forgive the language) rear end and put money into the till so you can pretend you are a TrueChristian™. Well, that's not how it works.

      I know I can prove myself worthy to be a member of your church and maybe someday even become a Platinum Tither.
      See? I knew it. Trying to buy your way into Heaven isn't going to do it, son. That's what the Cathyolicks call "buying indulgences" and it is a lie and a defamation of the name of Jesus Christ!

      Just out of curiosity, though, how much are you planning to tithe?
      Yours In Christ,

      Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

      Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

      Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
      Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
      The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
      Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
      How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
      20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
      God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
      Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
      Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
      Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
      There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
      Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

      Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hello Godly People

        Talk is cheap, platinum is not. Put your money where your mouth is, pal.

        We have had noobs like you walk in and drop $100K in the plate. We have also had those California ghetto people come to church, driving a Porsche SUV, wearing gold, wife wearing silicone and little else. Church security cameras showed then putting $1.00 in the plate.
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hello Godly People

          Hey mom. Please dont burn grandpa again. He is a good goth.
          love, Stckz
          Nope i cant go to hell..Satan still has that restraining order on me.

          The picture is me and my girlfriend..we like to sacrifice meat. We like candles. And cookies.
          I AM NOT GOTH! DONT YOU DARE CALL ME THAT!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Hello Godly People

            I'm going to change the name of the game from duck, duck, goose to goth, goth, satan.

            Thank you, for your input into my True Christian™ lifestyle.
            Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.


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            • #7
              Re: Hello Godly People

              Hello. I'm new here.

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              • #8
                Re: Hello Godly People

                ALL CATHOLIC GIRLS ARE FALLEN! Does your husband know you are using the computer woman?

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                • #9
                  Re: Hello Godly People

                  Originally posted by BillySunday View Post
                  ALL CATHOLIC GIRLS ARE FALLEN! Does your husband know you are using the computer woman?
                  Yes, he encourages me to use the computer.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Hello Godly People

                    Originally posted by BillySunday View Post
                    ALL CATHOLIC GIRLS ARE FALLEN! Does your husband know you are using the computer woman?
                    I haven't had good experiences with Baptists in real life for the most part, although I have some Baptist friends. I am open to better experiences in the future. I hope to learn more here.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Hello Godly People

                      Originally posted by fallen_catholic_girl View Post
                      I haven't had good experiences with Baptists in real life for the most part.
                      Why not?

                      Tell me now exactly what it is that is wrong with you my dear?

                      -ND

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