Can I be Saved?

[chilledogg]

Dearest friends,

I want a home in your place of worship. PRAISE HIM!

Will you witness to me as I seek the truth and guide me on my path to eternal happiness?

Thanks a bunch! You rock! (not that horrible, Satan inspired "rock n roll"--just your standard, heavenly created sedimentary rock).

ChilleDogg

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Can I be Saved?

Dearest friends,

I want a home in your place of worship. PRAISE HIM!

Will you witness to me as I seek the truth and guide me on my path to eternal happiness?

Thanks a bunch! You rock! (not that horrible, Satan inspired "rock n roll"--just your standard, heavenly created sedimentary rock).

ChilleDogg

Seeing as you haven't properly introduced yourself, no. No we can't help you. Now if you would like to follow the instructions the STICKIES lay out for you and post a detailed introduction in the introduction thread, I would be glad to assess your heathen-ness.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Can I be Saved?

Oh great, another genius who can't comprehend the definition of the word "introduction."

[Noah Dint]

Re: Can I be Saved?

I want a home in your place of worship. PRAISE HIM!

Friends,

Please take note that this person's first two words of introduction are "I want".

-ND

[chilledogg]

Re: Can I be Saved?

Brothers, excuse my foolishness. My eyes have are weak from constant study of the small print King James (cash flow problems). I failed to see the sticky and neglected to introduce myself in a proper Christian manner. PRAISE HIM FOR FORGIVENESS.

My name is ChilleDogg and I seek help in determining if I am worthy of being saved.

Originally, I hailed from the heart of the greatest of His lands—Texas. As we all know and say THANK HIM for this, the greatest of all presidents lives in these hollowed plains—President George Bush. PRAISE HIM.

My grandparents raised my parents to be good Baptist Christians in the hellfire and damnation tradition of all True Christian TexansTM. Unfortunately, my parents dropped the ball and became Episcopalians. Of course, I left home as soon as I could.

PRAISE HIM

I sought refuge and redemption through baptism in the Very, Very First Baptist Church of Wichita Falls, Texas. Yet, even though I have learned to hate gays, lesbians, drug users, heathens, war protesters, bastards, rock-n-rollers, objective reporting, Brittany Spears, demon-crats, Al Gore, Medicare, tree huggers, tax rates, low cut jeans, financial restrictions on Wall Street, welfare for the poor, public schools, unions, Obama, and (may the prophet Limbaugh please help us) public health care legislation, I still felt unclean via my parent’s wavering from the proper path.

So, I moved to Kansas and watched as much Fox news as possible.

PRAISE HIM

At first, the joy of living with SO MANY like individuals was comforting and I felt at peace. But eventually, no matter how many funeral protests I held or fake fetuses I threw, doubt and uncertainty has gnawed at me. Even my Tea Protester hat fails to give me comfort.

Brother, am I saved? Lead me to the righteous path.

C

[Nobar King]

Re: Can I be Saved?

I'm skeptical. The path to righteousness is often sordid and dirty. Are you saying that you are pure and have no flaws? Many of us have slogged thru the pits of despair and wallowed in iniquity before finally accepting Jesus into our hearts.

Jesus knows the truth, my friend, so there's no reason to put on airs just to impress some of your forum buddies. If He can forgive you, so can we.

Your avatar shows someone burning in the pits of hell. Is that how you feel?

(BTW, I love chili dogs.)

[Palmer C. Eldrich]

Re: Can I be Saved?

You rock! (not that horrible, Satan inspired "rock n roll"--just your standard, heavenly created sedimentary rock).

ChilleDogg

The last person I heard say "chill, dog" had a blunt in his hand. In fact, he passed me the blunt and I did chill out.

Are you just some stoner who is having a go at some Christians? That's not very sportsmanlike. You could pick an easier target, like Hannah Montana.

[Noah Dint]

Re: Can I be Saved?

In fact, he passed me the blunt and I did chill out.

You openly admit in the midst of this congregation that you enjoy smoking the devil's veggies?

You are going to Hell! Do you not know the scripture that our Lord and Savior teaches us?

Galatians 5:21 tells us:
Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Repent now and pray for His mercy!

-ND

[chilledogg]

Re: Can I be Saved?

I'm skeptical. The path to righteousness is often sordid and dirty. Are you saying that you are pure and have no flaws? Many of us have slogged thru the pits of despair and wallowed in iniquity before finally accepting Jesus into our hearts.

Jesus knows the truth, my friend, so there's no reason to put on airs just to impress some of your forum buddies. If He can forgive you, so can we.

Your avatar shows someone burning in the pits of hell. Is that how you feel?

(BTW, I love chili dogs.)

Mr. Nobar King, my apologies for poor communication skills. Faults I have aplenty (born of sin), to include failure to follow sticky note instructions. Also, I'm not sure I have done enough to discriminate against racial groups and minorities.

I am honored by your graciousness and forgiveness. PRAISE HIM

Further, my avatar represents the reduced status I humbly submit before this revered and wise group. Who am I to take on airs before the favored few? I feel honored to post in your company.

Thank you for your patience and guidance.

Mr. Palmer C. Eldrich, Hannah Montana will burn in hell. Will you?


C

[Harold Law]

Re: Can I be Saved?

This is a question you should probably asking the Lord via KJV1611.