Introducing Mrs. Norah Dint.

[Noah Dint]

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

I wanted to give everyone an official "heads up" directly from me. You all know of my wife Norah and what a blessing she has been to The Church(tm) and our family.

After many years I have made the decision to allow her to be online. I have purchased her a notebook PC (laptop) and had the browser modified to only allow her to come to our Holy Forum(tm). I feel it will be a good start for her to learn some PC skills.

In the next few days (she learns slow) I will insure she comes here and makes a proper introduction. Should she get out of line in the least manner I would welcome (and fully expect) your notification.

YIC,

-ND

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Introducing Mrs. Norah Dint.

Please stand over her for her first few attempts. And for the sake of sanity please do not have her post about washing up and recipes in inappropriate forums; such subjects are entirely non-salvific.

[Once was lost]

Re: Introducing Mrs. Norah Dint.

I would like to welcome Sister Norah to our Forum. It might be difficult to teach a woman Computer skills but i have seen several females even in my family go online the past few months.

[Noah Dint]

Re: Introducing Mrs. Norah Dint.

Please stand over her for her first few attempts. And for the sake of sanity please do not have her post about washing up and recipes in inappropriate forums; such subjects are entirely non-salvific.

What wonderful advice brother Bathfire. I would not allow her to simply come to this wonderful Godly Forum(tm) and start posting. I will most certainly insure she is supervised until I am confident that she can meet with the parish's approval for any form of independence.

I simply ask your tolerance of her for a few days. She is a True Blonde Christian(tm) and while she is exceptional at some things she is a woman afterall...

-ND

[Rev Jeffrey Lebowski]

Congrats to you, Noah!
And a hearty welcome to Sister Norah!!!

There is a rewarding spirit brought to the head of the household when he brings his lesser-minded mate to the internets.

I taught Sister Verna to use my laptop.
I used a small stick and a few well placed smacks on her fingers to guide her usage. I would often dictate my postings from my favorite easy chair, she would then labor at the typing.
Sometimes, late at night, I would see a faint blue glow of the screen coming from the bathroom. It was Sister Verna practicing on the keyboards....made me very joyous that she was working so hard to please me.

KEEP a tight reign on the womern Brother Noah, they can wander.
Sister Verna has taken up learning all about poultry.
I even found a credit card receipt for a Monster Cocks .com {I think she was shopping for big roosters.}
Christian Forum talking and raising chickens go hand in hand.

Looking forward to having the pleasures of your wife.

Rev Jeffrey Lebowski
Sister Verna Too {she is interneting more chicken stuff}

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Introducing Mrs. Norah Dint.

Please stand over her for her first few attempts.

I agree that supervision is KEY when a True Christian Lady™ enters these forums for the first time. For she is likely to encounter, among the unsaved who persecute us here, the vilest, lowest dregs of society.

The atheists, the lawless, the unemployed, the homosexuals and Mario "gamers" (one and the same), all seem to flood in here to mock us. Some are eventually Saved™ (PRAISE!) but other seem to loiter, posting
sacrilegious, offensive comments before being banished to the Quarantine Rehabilitation Unit, where they and their lurid comments are cosseted away from the innocent public.

Your Norah may have many questions for you in her first days, Mr. Dint. She may have nightmares of what she'll see here. I respectfully urge you, and the Pastors and other Male Church Elders, to avail yourselves to this woman thrown into the wilderness to battle the jackals and wildebeests who dogpaddle their filthy, slobbering way to our shores.

She will be a stranger in a strange land.

[Tingly Bill]

Re: Introducing Mrs. Norah Dint.

perhaps you shouldnt restrict her use to just this website. we bought my mum a laptop for christmas a few years ago when she was totally computer illiterate. since then she has become a proficient user and is keen on economic discussion forums. she has since made some very accurate predictions with regards to the uk housing market and some of the largest companies.

and she knows where all the different letters are on the keyboard!

[James Hutchins]

Re: Introducing Mrs. Norah Dint.

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,.................. I have purchased her a notebook PC (laptop) and had the browser modified to only allow her to come to our Holy Forum™....................

perhaps you shouldnt restrict her use to just this website. we bought my mum a laptop for christmas a few years ago when she was totally computer illiterate. since then she has become a proficient user and is keen on economic discussion forums. she has since made some very accurate predictions with regards to the uk housing market and some of the largest companies.

and she knows where all the different letters are on the keyboard!

A few pointers 'Bill'
1) Work on your reading comprehension. I know what Brother Dint said occurred long ago, way in the past, but do try to keep up
2) Proper spelling, punctuation, capitalization and sentence structure only.

Failing these incredibly simple steps will make everyone think you are an utter moron. You do not want that now, do you 'Billy'.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Introducing Mrs. Norah Dint.

Sorry for the out burst, but there is only so much a man can take.

Now, back on topic. Well Brother Dint, I greatly appreciate you providing the 'heads up' regarding the missus. I have heard so much about her over the years, I feel like I already know her like I know my leather covered Bible. Much used in times of late night crisis, always there to lend the spiritual hand, always willing to orate experience. I am sure your missus will be a fine addition to the flock.

[HTannor]

Re: Introducing Mrs. Norah Dint.

Brother Noah, we are truly blessed that you are seeing fit to introduce us to your wife and your wife to us. It's is a real complement that you entrust us with her fragile soul and we will treat her gently.

Brother Lebowski, the credit card receipt you found brings joy to my heart. I, myself, have a Monster Cock and I make sure my wife gently tends it on a regular basis. She assures me it enriches our family in so many ways.

[Nobar King]

Re: Introducing Mrs. Norah Dint.

I hope you gave her a personal account with guest log-in so that she doesn't have administrative control over your computer.

[Noah Dint]

Re: Introducing Mrs. Norah Dint.

I hope you gave her a personal account with guest log-in so that she doesn't have administrative control over your computer.

We are beginning with one icon. It will open the browser which is locked to this site. Other than that she can only get to Notepad and the Calculator. I am sure that learning that clicking on three different icons will do three different things will be quite overwealming to her.

She is a True Blonde Christian(tm) afterall...

-ND

[HTannor]

Re: Introducing Mrs. Norah Dint.

I believe you have made a wise decision Brother Noah. Allowing her more than one icon may well encourage her to start exploring the vast reaches of the internets.

Once she has gained a true appreciation of the wonders of all that awaits her in this Godly Forum™, consideration may be given to allow her to venture elsewhere.

For example, there are many other places that may contain valuable information for her in reaching new heights in her wifely duties.

I'm thinking of those places with excellent information on cooking, sewing, laundry tips, gardening information, and so on.

But I will leave that to you to determine what is best for her because there are so many places that could leave her astray.