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  • FantaMan
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Jan 2010
    • 5

    #1

    Howdy There

    Hello, As I was going through a painful time in my life where my daughter is defiant, I came across this wonderful light of hope of a website.

    I am a father of a 20yr old daughter, with a beautiful wife who never stops baking cookies and pies. She knows how to clean the house very well, and uses only two sheets of dry swiffer wipes when polishing my 6 pair of shoes.

    I was raised a catholic, but once I reached the age of reason, I became a Baptisht and have been attending Baptist church ever since.

    It feels great to be in this community.
  • Gabriel Reproba
    Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
    The Most Honest Lawyer in America
    True Christian™
    • Nov 2009
    • 2479

    #2
    Re: Howdy There

    Originally posted by FantaMan View Post
    Hello, As I was going through a painful time in my life where my daughter is defiant, I came across this wonderful light of hope of a website.

    I am a father of a 20yr old daughter, with a beautiful wife who never stops baking cookies and pies. She knows how to clean the house very well, and uses only two sheets of dry swiffer wipes when polishing my 6 pair of shoes.

    I was raised a catholic, but once I reached the age of reason, I became a Baptisht and have been attending Baptist church ever since.
    Your daughter is 20 years old and still defiant? What have you been doing to her? Is she a whore and a drug addict? Doies she worship Satan? She doesn't vote Demoncrat does she?

    Also, what is a Baptisht?

    It feels great to be in this community.
    It does, but how would you know? You are a stranger and not a member. Being presumptuous is a sign fo great evil. Tell us more about yourself. WHat church do you go to? What's your favorite Bible verse?
    Yours In Christ,

    Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

    Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

    Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
    Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
    The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
    Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
    How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
    20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
    God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
    Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
    Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
    Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
    There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
    Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

    Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

    Comment

    • FantaMan
      Unsaved trash
      Under Investigation
      • Jan 2010
      • 5

      #3
      Re: Howdy There

      Originally posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
      Your daughter is 20 years old and still defiant? What have you been doing to her? Is she a whore and a drug addict? Doies she worship Satan? She doesn't vote Demoncrat does she?
      Pardon for not explaining it right, my brother in Christ. My daughter was fine until she went to college. As mentioned in a different thread, I used to make sure that me and my wife beat the Satan out of her on a regular basis, which kept her pure and nice. However after going to college and learning nonsense from books other than the Bible, she has turned defiant.

      She was not a whore when I sent her, but I don't know now. Satan has her in her grasp and is forcing her to commit sin by wanting to date an unsaved man. This is the reason I came here- to seek advice from enlightened believers such as yourself.

      Also, what is a Baptisht?
      I apologize. This was a typo. I meant to write Baptist. This only goes to show that I am not as perfect as my savior.

      It does, but how would you know? You are a stranger and not a member. Being presumptuous is a sign fo great evil. Tell us more about yourself. WHat church do you go to? What's your favorite Bible verse?
      [/QUOTE]

      I know because after reading the threads, I can see how the Lord is working through you all to bring light and joy to everyone involved here. You might call me a stranger, but I know everyone here is my brother and sister in Christ, and I do not consider them strangers. I just had gotten off the phone with my daughter when I wrote this, so I think the devil wanted to influence me and hence I was sounding presumptuous.

      My favorite Bible Verse is Revelation 21:8. Since I have been saved, I love to throw this verse at all the filthy unsaved ones to show how they will burn in hell, and laugh at them.

      Comment

      • FantaMan
        Unsaved trash
        Under Investigation
        • Jan 2010
        • 5

        #4
        Re: Howdy There

        Just a question- can anyone tell me how long I need to wait before my filthy title can be changed? "Unsaved trash" is very demeaning, considering that I have received the gift of salvation and have been doing everything I can to glorify God in every day of my life.

        Thank you.

        Comment

        • GOD=life
          WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
          True Christian™
          • Jan 2010
          • 3263

          #5
          Re: Howdy There

          Originally posted by FantaMan View Post
          I became a Baptisht
          Weird place to put an 'h'... almost as though you wanted to write a word that starts with "s" and ends with "hit".

          Originally posted by FantaMan View Post
          I used to make sure that me and my wife beat the Satan out of
          So you let your wife be dominant and teach your daughter you were not man enough to discipline her yourself. And now you complain that your daughter does not see you as a man?

          Originally posted by FantaMan View Post
          Just a question- can anyone tell me how long I need to wait before my filthy title can be changed?
          You are judging the pastors who picked this title for you? Seriously?

          How about you first stop being an ungrateful piece of arrogant self-entitled garbage? You come in here proclaiming to be a True Christian after 10 seconds, even though you know nothing about True Christianity. You just declared yourself saved.

          Like father, like daughter?
          I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

          Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
          Matthew 7:22
          Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
          Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

          Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78556

            #6
            Re: Howdy There

            Originally posted by FantaMan View Post
            Just a question- can anyone tell me how long I need to wait before my filthy title can be changed? "Unsaved trash" is very demeaning, considering that I have received the gift of salvation and have been doing everything I can to glorify God in every day of my life.

            Thank you.
            At this rate I'd say a very, very long time.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • Yearning4God
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              • Jan 2010
              • 22

              #7
              Re: Howdy There

              Welcome to the community, friend.

              I look forward to reading your words of wisdom on here in the future. If you have any questions, I can show you around, by telling what forums to avoid and who to talk to/not to talk to.

              Peace be with you.

              Comment

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