Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

[GodIsAlmighty]

A week ago, I was an Atheist Jew. My parents were both Jewish, and they did not let me learn about Christianity. Thus, I was skeptical, because it did not make sense to me why Jews were waiting for a messiah, when it seems obvious to me that around year zero God would send himself to die for the original sin he made man with. Because of this, I went under the impression God must not exist.

Luckily, one week ago I found a copy of the holy bible in a hotel draw. That small peak turned into a week of non-stop reading and studying, and in that I found Jesus and the holy light of heaven. This was the most rewarding experience of my life, and all I can think about is repenting my sinful ways of the satanism that is Judaism and Atheism. After looking around, I found that the Landover Baptist Church were the only true Christians. I have been baptized and wish to know what else i can do repent and hopefully not go to hell. I live in New Jersey, but I am considering moving Southwest, since there are too many liberal sinners in the Northeast.

thank you in advanced!

[Nobar King]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

There is no year zero. How old are you, boy?

[Jacob the Angry Liar]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

A week ago, I was an Atheist Jew. My parents were both Jewish, and they did not let me learn about Christianity. Thus, I was skeptical, because it did not make sense to me why Jews were waiting for a messiah, when it seems obvious to me that around year zero God would send himself to die for the original sin he made man with. Because of this, I went under the impression God must not exist.

Luckily, one week ago I found a copy of the holy bible in a hotel draw. That small peak turned into a week of non-stop reading and studying, and in that I found Jesus and the holy light of heaven. This was the most rewarding experience of my life, and all I can think about is repenting my sinful ways of the satanism that is Judaism and Atheism. After looking around, I found that the Landover Baptist Church were the only true Christians. I have been baptized and wish to know what else i can do repent and hopefully not go to hell. I live in New Jersey, but I am considering moving Southwest, since there are too many liberal sinners in the Northeast.

thank you in advanced!

Welcome to Landover Baptist Church. So tell us, what is your name? How old are you? What is your favorite Bible verse?

One way to ensure Salvation is to tithe to God's Favorite Church.

[Halleluyah Rob]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

Why the "GodisallMightyI GUESS"

Are you doubting God's power?

[I Still Believe]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

Once an evil sinner, always an evil sinner. Die in the pits of hell, you devil worshipping bitch.

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

Once an evil sinner, always an evil sinner. Die in the pits of hell, you devil worshipping bitch.

Whoa, there! Language like that can get you banned instantly. (I admire your spirit but until you are no longer unsaved trash, you should follow our rules.) You have been reported to the DoF and you may be quarantined or banned.

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

This was the most rewarding experience of my life, and all I can think about is repenting my sinful ways of the satanism that is Judaism and Atheism.

As a wise man once asked me when I was unsaved, why do you capitalize atheism? Do you capitalize pedophile?

As far as becoming saved, what church baptized you? What is your favorite verse? Are you married?

[GodIsAlmighty]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

There is no year zero. How old are you, boy?

I apologize. What I meant by this was 0 AD (or BC?). I know the world is 4,000 years old, I was talking about when our savior Jesus Christ came down to Earth. Forgive my lack of knowledge, I am new to these holy laws. I am 28 years old.

Welcome to Landover Baptist Church. So tell us, what is your name? How old are you? What is your favorite Bible verse?

One way to ensure Salvation is to tithe to God's Favorite Church.

My name is Hunter. I am 28. My favorite Bible verse is Deuteronomy 21:18-21, "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." 21 Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death.""

This is my favorite verse because I feel parents nowadays are too lenient with their children, I know mine were. To not honor thy father and mother should be punishable by death of stoning, so why is this not enforced?

[I Still Believe]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

Whoa, there! Language like that can get you banned instantly. (I admire your spirit but until you are no longer unsaved trash, you should follow our rules.) You have been reported to the DoF and you may be quarantined or banned.

That is not the case. I refuse to go against Jesus and say a lie. Now, I must go finish getting my nightly rim job. I must do it on Saturday before Sunday church so I am cleansed for jesus.

[GodIsAlmighty]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

That is not the case. I refuse to go against Jesus and say a lie. Now, I must go finish getting my nightly rim job. I must do it on Saturday before Sunday church so I am cleansed for jesus.

Well, if I die and go to hell and burn for eternity in it's unforgiving damnation, that would be bad, but I have not just converted for my own benefit. I have converted for the benefit of the human race and Jesus my savior.

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

I know the world is 4,000 years old.

4,000 years old? Hahaha!! Where did you get that ridiculous idea? I have heard some doozies in my life but that one cuaght me off guard. Everyone knows the Earth is 6,424 years old! Are you a troll?

My name is Hunter. I am 28. My favorite Bible verse is Deuteronomy 21:18-21, "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." 21 Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death.""

While that IS a good one, I am guyessing it wasn't your parent's favorite? What else would explain you still being the way you are?

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

I must go finish getting my nightly rim job.

Enjoy Hell, sinner.

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

That is not the case. I refuse to go against Jesus and say a lie. Now, I must go finish getting my nightly rim job. I must do it on Saturday before Sunday church so I am cleansed for jesus.

Well, if I die and go to hell and burn for eternity in it's unforgiving damnation, that would be bad, but I have not just converted for my own benefit. I have converted for the benefit of the human race and Jesus my savior.

Wow! Trolls trolling trolls. I guess we should ban them all?

[GodIsAlmighty]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

4,000 years old? Hahaha!! Where did you get that ridiculous idea? I have heard some doozies in my life but that one cuaght me off guard. Everyone knows the Earth is 6,424 years old! Are you a troll?



While that IS a good one, I am guyessing it wasn't your parent's favorite? What else would explain you still being the way you are?

Again, I apologize, I must study more. I get confused with the whole 4,000 years old vs 4000 BC thing. Believe me, I am not a troll, I have really seen the light!

and yes, that was not my parents favorite, although I was not disobedient to them really until a week ago, but I am hopeful Jesus will forgive me for that.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello, I'm an evil sinner who has seen the light

Welcome to God's favorite forum. It's great to hear about your successful battle with satan. Keep up the good work!