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  • mcwyffe
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Jan 2010
    • 16

    #1

    Hey

    My name is Mathew, and i just wanted to take a second to say hello to all of you.
  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22869

    #2
    Re: Hey

    Now Mathew (you seem to have lost a 't' there) why did Jesus bring you to Landover?
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

    Comment

    • Mistress Cookie
      Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
      True Christian™
      • Jul 2008
      • 6790

      #3
      Re: Hey

      Welcome, Mathew.

      It is good to see a newfound soul for Jesus(tm) here on our board.

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78555

        #4
        Re: Hey

        Originally posted by mcwyffe View Post
        My name is Mathew, and i just wanted to take a second to say hello to all of you.
        That's not really an introduction, now is it.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Mistress Cookie
          Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
          True Christian™
          • Jul 2008
          • 6790

          #5
          Re: Hey

          I believe what the Pastor means, Mathew, is that it is customary for a newcomer to tell us about what church they go to, where and how they live, what their favorite Bible verse is, etc...in short, all those things that add up to being a True Christian™ that delights God™.

          Comment

          • mcwyffe
            Confirmed Enemy of God
            BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
            • Jan 2010
            • 16

            #6
            Re: Hey

            Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
            Now Mathew (you seem to have lost a 't' there) why did Jesus bring you to Landover?
            It is strange but thats how my parents spelled it. I'm 21 and I am a student. I came here because I am looking for a true church. There are so many other students that claim they are saved but in reality i do not think they are.

            Comment

            • Mistress Cookie
              Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
              True Christian™
              • Jul 2008
              • 6790

              #7
              Re: Hey

              Originally posted by mcwyffe View Post
              It is strange but thats how my parents spelled it.
              It's good that you are "Honoring Thy father and Mother" by retaining their choice of spelling.

              A good start!

              You are welcome here, to learn about God™ and the True Christian™ ways.

              Comment

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