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  • #1

    Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

    How good is Jesus' aim? With all that wine an' all....

    Please Jesus! Remember that Florida is part of the U.S. and that we put your trusted servant, G.W. Bush, in the ovum office in the year of you, 2000.
    Isaiah 45:7 (King James Version)

    7. I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

    Originally posted by SkyPoppy View Post
    How good is Jesus' aim?
    Flawless.

    Did your husband give you permission to post here?
    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

      Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
      Flawless.

      Did your husband give you permission to post here?
      I'm the husband. Or I would be if I had taken thee a wife. I have devoted my sexual energy to Jesus. He helps me out sometimes in the middle of the night. Praise Jesus!
      Isaiah 45:7 (King James Version)

      7. I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

        I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

        Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
        Matthew 7:22         Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
        Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

        Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

          Son, are you all hopped up on alcohol?
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

            Originally posted by SkyPoppy View Post
            I'm the husband.
            So your gay housemate plays the wife?
            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

              Originally posted by SkyPoppy View Post
              How good is Jesus' aim? With all that wine an' all....

              Please Jesus! Remember that Florida is part of the U.S. and that we put your trusted servant, G.W. Bush, in the ovum office in the year of you, 2000.
              Are you one of them Jimmy Buffett ferrit heads?

              -ND

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

                Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                So your gay housemate plays the wife?
                Ah, now it makes sense... Key West.... I heard about that sort
                Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

                  Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                  Son, are you all hopped up on alcohol?
                  No sir, but I am looking forward to communion here.
                  Isaiah 45:7 (King James Version)

                  7. I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

                    May God bring His rightous wrath upon you and your entire filthy town, sodomite.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

                      Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                      So your gay housemate plays the wife?
                      Jesus is not gay! Holdeth thouest's tongue!
                      Isaiah 45:7 (King James Version)

                      7. I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

                        Originally posted by SkyPoppy View Post
                        No sir, but I am looking forward to communion here.

                        Communion? Are you some kinda Mary worshiper? A sip of cheap wine and a death cookie!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

                          Originally posted by Noah Dint View Post
                          Are you one of them Jimmy Buffett ferrit heads?

                          -ND
                          I am if Jimmy's a good God fearin' Christian. 'cause God scares the hell outta me!
                          Isaiah 45:7 (King James Version)

                          7. I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

                            Originally posted by SkyPoppy View Post
                            Quote:
                            Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
                            So your gay housemate plays the wife?


                            Jesus is not gay! Holdeth thouest's tongue!
                            So you are saying Jesus is your wife and your housemate? Sir, are you alright? Is there someone we can call for you?

                            -ND

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Hello from Florida! Am I too close to Haiti!?

                              Originally posted by Gemira View Post
                              May God bring His rightous wrath upon you and your entire filthy town, sodomite.
                              Is that some weird kinda dust mite? They're filthy little critters. I am a friend of Jesus! We're *very* close.
                              Isaiah 45:7 (King James Version)

                              7. I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

                              Comment

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