I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

[Godfly]

Hello to the beautiful souls in Landover and around the world! I am blessed to find that the world is not such a puss filled stinking dung heap as I knew it was. The people of the Landover Baptist Church are like the Old Spice Deoderant that turn the stinking armpit of the unsaved masses into a bearable odor.

I feel so blessed to know that there are others in this world who know what it right!

I'm not sure what you want me to write here, I'm a thoughtful man who answers all of life's questions by asking God what to do. It's hard to say when exactly I was saved. At some point in my life I just realized that God and I agree on just about everything so I figured I must be right. I look forward to to many enlightening discussions about the rightness of the Christian faith.

hallelujah!

[GOD=life]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

They say that you only get 1 chance to make a good first impression. Let me be the first to commend you on using that chance well

What's your favorite verse in the KJV 1611 Bible?

[Jacob the Angry Liar]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

*I would ask God to bless you, but He beat me to it!

Welcome to the Landover Baptist Church. Better watch your typing to avoid making careless yet sinful mistakes.

[GodIsAlmighty]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

How old are you? what's your name? are you married? have you any Christian Soldiers?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

I like the cut of your jib, sir. Welcome to Landover, the cutting edge of God's Eternal battle against iniquity.

[Godfly]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

What's your favorite verse in the KJV 1611 Bible?

I wouldn't be lying if I said all of them. But I'm partial to Kings 2 2:23-24.

2:23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

2:24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

[Godfly]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

*I would ask God to bless you, but He beat me to it!

Welcome to the Landover Baptist Church. Better watch your typing to avoid making careless yet sinful mistakes.

I'm glad you caught this Brother Jacob. It's proof that some God hating liberal is trying to hack my computer! It's bad enough that they try and chase God from the classrooms and our houses of government, now they try and mess with grammar of Right Thinking Christians!

They will find that Hell has but one dial up modem.

[Godfly]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

How old are you? what's your name? are you married? have you any Christian Soldiers?

Sorry for not putting all my replies into one clean post, I don't know where my head is.

I am 40 years old, Married, but alas no Christian Soldiers, only two daughters. The Lord is punishing me for being too easy on a homosexual boy I beat up in my youth.

[Levi Jones]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

I wouldn't be lying if I said all of them. But I'm partial to Kings 2 2:23-24.

2:23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

2:24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

It is always so kind and refreshing to meet a fellow with so much going on in the brain.

All I can say is, welcome. I feel like I already know you.

[Jed_Cassidy]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

Sorry for not putting all my replies into one clean post, I don't know where my head is.

I am 40 years old, Married, but alas no Christian Soldiers, only two daughters. The Lord is punishing me for being too easy on a homosexual boy I beat up in my youth.

My condolences to you, my good sir. It is more probable that this wretched curse that has bequeathed your family is God's way of punishing your wife instead for her past sins. I'm sorry an upstanding Christian man such as yourself has to pay for her past atrocities

Welcome to Landover!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

Sir, you're among friends here. Tell me, have you always been so Godly? Most of us have a past full of sin and Satan. If you feel comfortable, please tell us of the depths you sank before the Lord came into you! Glory!

[Godfly]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

Sir, you're among friends here. Tell me, have you always been so Godly? Most of us have a past full of sin and Satan. If you feel comfortable, please tell us of the depths you sank before the Lord came into you! Glory!

As a young person I used to beat up on homosexuals and Jews. I did it because I liked the feeling of bone on bone, the splash of blood, and the joy of seeing them cry. But once I was saved I beat them up because it is what God wanted me to do. It just goes to show that like Hitler you can do the right things but still be worthless and unsaved. I thank God that was not my fate.

[Levi Jones]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

As a young person I used to beat up on homosexuals and Jews. I did it because I liked the feeling of bone on bone, the splash of blood, and the joy of seeing them cry. But once I was saved I beat them up because it is what God wanted me to do. It just goes to show that like Hitler you can do the right things but still be worthless and unsaved. I thank God that was not my fate.

What of your view of the lesser people now? Have you truly repented of beating them with your fists and feet instead of Chick Tracts and the Holy Word?

[Godfly]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

What of your view of the lesser people now? Have you truly repented of beating them with your fists and feet instead of Chick Tracts and the Holy Word?

I do not beat them with the Holy Word because my Bible is a very expensive one and I don't wish to scuff the cover. But I have found that if you fill a pillow case with enough Chick Tracts it makes a formidable weapon indeed. Once the heathans are beaten into a Holy serene state you can stuff their mouths with the Chick Tracts where they will be likely to find and read them if they wake up. This is a good way to cure homosexuals and people who play Dungeons and Dragons.

[Levi Jones]

Re: I would ask God to bless you, but he beat me to it!

I do not beat them with the Holy Word because my Bible is a very expensive one and I don't wish to scuff the cover. But I have found that if you fill a pillow case with enough Chick Tracts it makes a formidable weapon indeed. Once the heathans are beaten into a Holy serene state you can stuff their mouths with the Chick Tracts where they will be likely to find and read them if they wake up. This is a good way to cure homosexuals and people who play Dungeons and Dragons.

I find you to be a reprehensible human being. Frankly, I find the things you speak of to be unsettling, to say the least. At the most, prosecutable if they turn out to be true.

We at LBC believe The Word is open the negroes, beaners, slants, chinks, dotheads and europeans.

Galatians 3:28
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.