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  • Right Hand Man
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Feb 2010
    • 6

    #1

    Born again Christian

    Hello my brothers and sisters of the good lord Jesus Christ our Savior. I have recently been on a mission to afghanistan to try to save whichever souls may happen to be repentent to their obscene listless religion and try to convert some to the proper Christian way.

    My path started about 2 years ago when Jesus came to me in a dream and told me to spread his word to the barren. Needless to say, knowing only the unenlightened materialistic fools would pass up a sign like this. I immediately knew that he meant the middle east and every soul saved from the infernal depths of hell would be more glory for me in heaven. I had the faith and understanding that something needed to be done to these turban bearing people of sin.

    I have just gotten back from my time in the god-abandoned, sand dwelling regions of afghanistan just 2 weeks ago. Oh how the lord has blessed me on my journeys! I have met many interesting people (the fellow Christians who went with me on this calling of course)

    One thing I have learned from my experience is that these sand-dwellers are quite resistant to change. It made me sad to see that if only these poor people believed in the lord sweet jesus savior of humanity that these people would be set free, have grass and towering fruit trees growing in their land, and see the error of their ways.

    It seems to me that sweet Jesus just doesn't have the time to save these sinners that follow a false prophet or else he would have gave unto them a sign as well. However I still tried to show them the light that is our lord though through much persistence I was only able to convert a handful of them to the true religion. I must say it was quite the journey and I am truly blessed to have been able to change as many of these heathens ways as I did. Praise be to Jesus! I hope I was able to fulfill at least a little bit of what my great father had planned for me.

    Thank you my brothers and sisters for hearing my story, I hope that I am accepted into your glorious circle of righteousness.

    If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

    -Romans 10:9
  • Nobar King
    Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
    Christ's Guardian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2007
    • 23748

    #2
    Re: Born again Christian

    Did you actually go to Afghanistan? How long were you there for?
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

    Comment

    • Cranky Old Man
      Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
      You kids get off his lawn!
       
      • Jan 2010
      • 22377

      #3
      Re: Born again Christian

      Welcome to our nice and friendly forum Brother.
      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

      Comment

      • True Disciple
        True Christian™ Creation Scientist
        Landover Baptist University Associate Professor
        Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
        True Christian™
        • Nov 2009
        • 2445

        #4
        Re: Born again Christian

        Welcome, Brother! How many Godless towelheads have you converted to Christianity, or killed for God?
        Sweet Lord Jesus,
        I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
        Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
        Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
        Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
        Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
        Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
        Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

        Amen.

        Comment

        • Right Hand Man
          Unsaved trash
          Under Investigation
          • Feb 2010
          • 6

          #5
          Re: Born again Christian

          Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
          Did you actually go to Afghanistan? How long were you there for?
          Well friend, lets just say I was there for too long, too long indeed hahahaHAHAHA! I'm just glad that I'm back home where god flourishes and pays attention to us. Blessed be the fruit of thy Virgin Marys womb Jesus Christ and Blessed be our father in heaven.

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78556

            #6
            Re: Born again Christian

            Originally posted by Right Hand Man View Post
            Well friend, lets just say I was there for too long, too long indeed hahahaHAHAHA! I'm just glad that I'm back home where god flourishes and pays attention to us. Blessed be the fruit of thy Virgin Marys womb Jesus Christ and Blessed be our father in heaven.
            Hey pal, we aren't papists. Jesus wants us to worship Him, not His mommy.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • Jed_Cassidy
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • May 2009
              • 289

              #7
              Re: Born again Christian

              Originally posted by Right Hand Man View Post
              Well friend, lets just say I was there for too long, too long indeed hahahaHAHAHA! I'm just glad that I'm back home where god flourishes and pays attention to us. Blessed be the fruit of thy Virgin Marys womb Jesus Christ and Blessed be our father in heaven.
              I smell a rat. What's your real agenda, bub?
              Matthew 7:15
              Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

              Comment

              • Right Hand Man
                Unsaved trash
                Under Investigation
                • Feb 2010
                • 6

                #8
                Re: Born again Christian

                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                Hey pal, we aren't papists. Jesus wants us to worship Him, not His mommy.
                I am sorry my brother, I was at a sermon last tuesday and the priest made a speech about honoring the womb that bore sweet baby Jesus unto the world. I layed awake many hours just trying to decipher as to whether or not her holy womb deserved my appraisal. I was not sure, it seems like the devil himself has tainted my views and brought this vile notion upon me. I am glad that you have been able to show me this flaw in my christianity and have guided me towards the true path of salvation. Lord forgive me and thank you.

                Comment

                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78556

                  #9
                  Re: Born again Christian

                  Originally posted by Right Hand Man View Post
                  I am sorry my brother, I was at a sermon last tuesday and the priest made a speech about honoring the womb that bore sweet baby Jesus unto the world. I layed awake many hours just trying to decipher as to whether or not her holy womb deserved my appraisal. I was not sure, it seems like the devil himself has tainted my views and brought this vile notion upon me. I am glad that you have been able to show me this flaw in my christianity and have guided me towards the true path of salvation. Lord forgive me and thank you.
                  First of all, I'd like to know what church you attend. Baptist churches don't have priests, but papists do. Secondly, what kind of service were you attending on a Tuesday?

                  There is no such thing as "your" Christianity, nor mine. There is only God's Christianity.

                  2 Peter 1:20: Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation
                  .
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • Brother Enoch
                    The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
                    True Christian™
                    • Jun 2008
                    • 4392

                    #10
                    Re: Born again Christian

                    Originally posted by Right Hand Man View Post
                    It seems to me that sweet Jesus just doesn't have the time to save these sinners that follow a false prophet or else he would have gave unto them a sign as well.
                    Um, yeah, okay.

                    He gave them a pretty huge sign. Their land has been at war for generations and their entire nation is in ruins.

                    That's what they get for following the mad ravings of an ancient child molester. Eventually they'll clue in and repent. Hopefully. But if they don't, it's all on them and they can continue to enjoy living under rubble while God smites them day after day after day...

                    No sign, lol.

                    Comment

                    • Right Hand Man
                      Unsaved trash
                      Under Investigation
                      • Feb 2010
                      • 6

                      #11
                      Re: Born again Christian

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      First of all, I'd like to know what church you attend. Baptist churches don't have priests, but papists do. Secondly, what kind of service were you attending on a Tuesday?

                      There is no such thing as "your" Christianity, nor mine. There is only God's Christianity.

                      .
                      NO wonder, I knew something fishy was up when they said 'priest' I go to church early tuesday mornings because of out of town conferences. Or else I wouldn't be able to go at all, also for the past 3 weeks I have been going to a church that isn't my own, just a little closer to where I'm going (a sin I know but I just feel I need that daily word of God in my life.)

                      It felt strange everytime I have gone there, NOW they have the nerve to try to convert me to their FALSE devil-altered form of Christianity?! This is blasphemy, Though I attest I am not attoned to the scripture as my late brother Timothy (be with the Lord), I still feel as if I have sinned lord forgive me.

                      I can only hope that Jesus will give me a truer heart so I can seek out the scoundrels, liars and mockers and follow the true ways of the lord.

                      Comment

                      • Right Hand Man
                        Unsaved trash
                        Under Investigation
                        • Feb 2010
                        • 6

                        #12
                        Re: Born again Christian

                        Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post
                        Um, yeah, okay.

                        He gave them a pretty huge sign. Their land has been at war for generations and their entire nation is in ruins.

                        That's what they get for following the mad ravings of an ancient child molester. Eventually they'll clue in and repent. Hopefully. But if they don't, it's all on them and they can continue to enjoy living under rubble while God smites them day after day after day...

                        No sign, lol.
                        Yes, maybe it is not so much a matter of getting a sign, but having enough faith to follow the signs!

                        Thank you brother, you have changed my outlook, The word of the lord speaks true through you!

                        Comment

                        • Brother Enoch
                          The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
                          True Christian™
                          • Jun 2008
                          • 4392

                          #13
                          Re: Born again Christian

                          Originally posted by Right Hand Man View Post
                          Thank you brother, you have changed my outlook, The word of the lord speaks true through you!
                          Shut up with that!

                          The Lord does not speak through me! I am NOT a prophet! I follow the KJV, word for word, and can interpret what is happening in this world, God's world, through those inerrant words. As all True Christians can!

                          What I do, anyone can. Anyone! All that is required is FAITH!

                          Saying the Lord speaks through me is attempting to appeal to my pride. That WILL NOT work! You are a DECEIVER! Pretending to be one of us, yet trying to lead us into self worship.

                          IT WILL NOT WORK!

                          BEGONE DEMON!

                          Comment

                          • Right Hand Man
                            Unsaved trash
                            Under Investigation
                            • Feb 2010
                            • 6

                            #14
                            Re: Born again Christian

                            Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post
                            Shut up with that!

                            The Lord does not speak through me! I am NOT a prophet! I follow the KJV, word for word, and can interpret what is happening in this world, God's world, through those inerrant words. As all True Christians can!

                            What I do, anyone can. Anyone! All that is required is FAITH!

                            Saying the Lord speaks through me is attempting to appeal to my pride. That WILL NOT work! You are a DECEIVER! Pretending to be one of us, yet trying to lead us into self worship.

                            IT WILL NOT WORK!

                            BEGONE DEMON!
                            Was that an faithless thing to say, as I said I saw Jesus in a dream. You scoff at one who feels enlightened, I feel offended at this scoffery seeing as I am certain that God has consciously taken the time to send me a message that I can interpret.

                            Although some would like to 'appeal to your pride' I am afraid I am not one of those people, I follow no man but Jesus. The good lord must have truly bewildered your brain to even make it think such thoughts.

                            You seem to think your faith is truer than mine, however so you may think I doubt you make the sacrifices that I make in the name of God. I feel that you may be the one in violation of Gods word, not I for failing to receive my feelings of fellowship and making a mockery of me. I hope the Lord can set you on the right path as he has done for me.

                            "Do not judge, or you too will be judged"

                            -Matthew 7:1

                            Comment

                            • Pastor Ezekiel
                              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                               
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 78556

                              #15
                              Re: Born again Christian

                              Originally posted by Right Hand Man View Post

                              "Do not judge, or you too will be judged"

                              -Matthew 7:1
                              Landover Baptist is a KJV only Church. The verse you were trying to post should read like this:

                              Matthew 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
                              You shouldn't quote out of context. That verse doesn't forbid us to judge others, it just admonishes us to judge righteously.

                              Matthew 7:2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
                              You might want to read my sermon on the subject of judging others HERE.
                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                              Comment

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