A humble introduction

[Rachel Sue]

Hello and God Bless!

My name is Rachel Sue. This website was brought to my attention a few days ago by the man who is currently haggling with my father for my hand in marriage, thanks be to God!

In between pies and housework I have read around a bit. You seem to be the sanest people that I've ever seen in my time on the internet and I look forward to learning from your wisdom. Perhaps, one day, I will be able to count myself among the lucky 0.07% and call myself a True Christian.

I was born and raised in God's own country. The man that my Godly father is debating bride price with is Eurotrash, sadly, from an imaginary country that he calls 'Belgakistan' or something to that effect. My father, wise as he is, has explained that he's trying to marry me to a European simply to receive my price in Euros to thus convert into God's own currency.

I need to leave now, the kitchen timer just beeped and I need to check on my apple pie.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: A humble introduction

Welcome Rachel! You are lucky to have found us! I do hope the man your father is marrying you off to is a Christian! European Christians are quite rare, I hear there are no more than 100 of them left!

I hope you got a good one!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: A humble introduction

Welcome to our friendly forum Rachel Sue! Did you get your father's permission to post here?

[Nobar King]

Re: A humble introduction

Heaven forbid that you are sent to Belgistan!!! You must insist that someone on the internet told you that it's a terrible idea. Why can't he find a decent Christian AMERICAN man for you? You sound like a nice girl and Rachel is such a pretty name, you must be cute as a button.

[No Secrets Victoria]

Re: A humble introduction

Sister in Christ, I welcome you.

[Rachel Sue]

Re: A humble introduction

Thank you for the warm introduction.

Captain, in response to your question, the man that my father is marrying me off to has recently joined this site as well in hopes that we can become True Christians together and help one another to be strong, devout followers of our Lord.

Yes, Cranky Old Man, I actually have my father's permission to post here. My father is not terribly internet savvy and it was the Eurotrash that he is haggling with told him about this site.

Both of them have strongly urged me to commune among these True Christians and to improve myself as much as possible so that once the marriage agreement is completed I can serve my (future) husband as God requires.

[Rachel Sue]

Re: A humble introduction

Actually, Cranky and Nobar, the two of you resemble very much my Godly father. It is comforting to be around familiar(ish) faces.

Thank you for your welcome, Victoria! Do you happen to know any good substitutes for buttermilk, by the way? I seem to have run plumb out!

Nobar, in all humility, yes, I HAVE been called cute before though I have no photographs to show you as evidence. My father has strictly forbid me from posting images of myself online to refrain from provoking jealousy and anger.

Psalms 78:58 For they provoked him to anger with their high places, and moved him to jealousy with their graven images.

[True Disciple]

Re: A humble introduction

Welcome, Sister! Great to have some Decent True Christian™ Women around! Is that Philippe guy your future husband?

[Rachel Sue]

Re: A humble introduction

Thank you, True Disciple. I do hate to misrepresent myself, so please allow me to explain.

While I was attended a Baptist church as a child, I have lived much of my life among the heathens of more liberal states. It was difficult to be a truly Christian woman. Now that my Godly father has called me home to Indiana, I have at long last acquired a copy of the King James bible and it is my hope to one day be counted as a True Christian.

I have already committed to memory much of God's word, sadly I must refer to the good book's pages more than I would like to remind myself of God's true words.

Bless you, Brother.

[No Secrets Victoria]

Re: A humble introduction

Sister Sue, do you have any Christian neighbors? They should help you with milk.


Isaiah 55:1
“Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.

[Jed_Cassidy]

Re: A humble introduction

Greetings, Sister Rachel! Your soon-to-be-fiance is from Belgistan, you say? That's too bad. When I heard he was from Europe, I was hoping for someone from $witzerland. Those people are platinum-tithers, guaranteed.

Anyways, you sound like a nice women with lots of potential. Please stick around. With some work, you may just avoid eternal hellfire by becoming a True Christian™ before the world ends on March 4th!

[Rachel Sue]

Re: A humble introduction

If he can acquire the funds that my Godly father requires of him, that may be the case.

Sadly, those Eurotrash types are experts at haggling and the negotiations for my bride price have gone on for much longer than anyone would have expected. My father does not want to lose my help around the house, you understand, especially not to some godforsaken place such as Belgistan. I merely await my father's judgment on the matter.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: A humble introduction

You sound like a Godly Woman, yet the Pastors have you on Moderation

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: A humble introduction

You sound like a Godly Woman, yet the Pastors have you on Moderation

They always have good reasons for such things.

[grey goose]

Re: A humble introduction

You sound like a Godly Woman, yet the Pastors have you on Moderation

I can only assume it's because she's from Indiana, the state that the "Indy Atheists" hail from. They're a disgusting bunch.

Welcome to the Church forum Rachel Sue. Your name, attitude, and interests are certainly Godly. You hail from a heathen state, but as long as you are right with the Lord, you are right with me. God bless you sister.