[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: not so formal intro

Really, posting editing is about as retarded as it gets.

Either construct at least ONE sentence correctly, and that should not be exceedingly difficult since you cannot manage more than one at a time, or face my wrath.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: not so formal intro

Either construct at least ONE sentence correctly, and that should not be exceedingly difficult since you cannot manage more than one at a time, or face my wrath.

While your attempts to get sense out of Homertard are admirable, I fear they are doomed. He has offended God by listening to Satanic rock music, so God cursed him to be a mongoloid who supports terrorism. Or possibly the other way around. Either way, he is a National Bolshevist vegetable with scrambled brains on the side, and we're expecting the extreme anti-life liberals on the Supreme Court to pull the plug on him any day now. He will not be missed.

[Merton Mountain]

Re: not so formal intro

Hello everyone! I'm a 25yr old male w/ masochistic and violent leanings. I laugh at the mentally retarded, get extremely perturbed at my g/f for simply being female, and shudder at the mere thought of being chinese. I've had to keep my thoughts and feelings (Am working on the whole "feelings" thing) to myself but thanks to this site I've seen the light! I've always seen toleration as faggy, especially when backhands seem more appropriate and cost zero tax dollars. Well, better get reading and memorizing the Old Testament before I start coming off like a babbling female. I feel very lucky I found this site before I was led astray by some of the sickos who are out there. Thankfully I've found a place and people who understand me!

[Talitha]

Re: not so formal intro

Hello everyone! I'm a 25yr old male w/ masochistic and violent leanings. I laugh at the mentally retarded, get extremely perturbed at my g/f for simply being female, and shudder at the mere thought of being chinese. I've had to keep my thoughts and feelings (Am working on the whole "feelings" thing) to myself but thanks to this site I've seen the light! I've always seen toleration as faggy, especially when backhands seem more appropriate and cost zero tax dollars. Well, better get reading and memorizing the Old Testament before I start coming off like a babbling female. I feel very lucky I found this site before I was led astray by some of the sickos who are out there. Thankfully I've found a place and people who understand me!

So, do you share our Love of Jesus?
Do you have a large Car? Helicopter? Or better still your own Plane?
Do you have good Insurance?
Have you tithed to your favorite Church yet?

[Merton Mountain]

Re: not so formal intro

I'm predisposed to throwing large chunks of my hard-earned cash at things that scare me anyways, so why not? I'll start today! First things first...I'm demanding a large and difficult to prepare meal from my g/f and then dumping her for a real christian gal. With my money burning in my pocket I'll head to the nearest baptist church (although it's not worthy) and tithing handsomely for a good start on my bumpy road to recovery.

[Talitha]

Re: not so formal intro

I'm predisposed to throwing large chunks of my hard-earned cash at things that scare me anyways, so why not? I'll start today! First things first...I'm demanding a large and difficult to prepare meal from my g/f and then dumping her for a real christian gal. With my money burning in my pocket I'll head to the nearest baptist church (although it's not worthy) and tithing handsomely for a good start on my bumpy road to recovery.

Welcome to Landover Baptist Church friend

[Sister Rebecca]

Re: not so formal intro

Most definitely welcome!
However, it would be much more appropriate for you to hit the PayPal button below this thread to donate to God's ONLY Church, Landover.

Other than wanting to eat something from the hands of a Heathen not under LBC control, and thinking any other Baptist church should be tithed to, you will fit in quite nicely right here, among us True Christians(TM).
Enjoy your stay and be nice to the locals. All others are fair game for rebuking.

[Talitha]

Re: not so formal intro

Most definitely welcome!
However, it would be much more appropriate for you to hit the PayPal button below this thread to donate to God's ONLY Church, Landover.

Other than wanting to eat something from the hands of a Heathen not under LBC control, and thinking any other Baptist church should be tithed to, you will fit in quite nicely right here, among us True Christians™.
Enjoy your stay and be nice to the locals. All others are fair game for rebuking.

Far be-it for us to try and entice you to Donate to our Church, in fairness I have to say that other (lesser) Baptist Churches are available to receive your funds.
However, we are the only Church to offer a money-back guarantee of Salvation on Judgment day.

[Merton Mountain]

Re: not so formal intro

Very anxious to learn about Jesus and extremely excited about getting a jumpstart on some estate in Heaven. The hardest part, I believe, will be learning how to properly deal w/ my female companion while remaining one step ahead of these crazy liberal laws. You guys are awesome so keep up the good work

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: not so formal intro

Hold on Brother.

Just hit the Paybutton on the bottom of your screen and donate to GOD'S Favorite Church LBC!!!

As far as nice True Christian lady goes, please visit our singles section right here on GOD'S Favorite Forum. There are plenty to chose from. Why even my own niece Gracie is looking for a fine young man.

Lve, Sister Thumper

[Merton Mountain]

Re: not so formal intro

I will definitely have a look in the singles section. Especially since my ex g/f just ran out the door! It's a little hard to type w/ a swollen hand but I guess this is the type of thing I need to "man up" and get used to? It came out of nowhere, really. She was bitching about dirty dishes when WHAM! some force just came over, no, THROUGH me and rebuked her. I feel like her masters degree came btw us. Way too uppity for my liking.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: not so formal intro

I will definitely have a look in the singles section. Especially since my ex g/f just ran out the door! It's a little hard to type w/ a swollen hand but I guess this is the type of thing I need to "man up" and get used to? It came out of nowhere, really. She was bitching about dirty dishes when WHAM! some force just came over, no, THROUGH me and rebuked her. I feel like her masters degree came btw us. Way too uppity for my liking.

There is your problem; woman with a master's degree = carpet cleaning thespian. You're lucky your ex didn't attack your' wedding tackle while you slept.

[Merton Mountain]

Re: not so formal intro

Doing some reading here and discovered Jesus is a total bad*ss and even has some harlott named Mary washing his feet. Also a carpenter, very manly profession. He makes the floorboards and the women wash them. It seems so natural...thinking my girlfriend ought to have a PHD in mopping.

[Talitha]

Re: not so formal intro

Doing some reading here and discovered Jesus is a total bad*ss and even has some harlott named Mary washing his feet. Also a carpenter, very manly profession. He makes the floorboards and the women wash them. It seems so natural...thinking my girlfriend ought to have a PHD in mopping.

Forget the PHD (Prefers Humping Dildo) friend. Just give her a Mop and beat her until she gets it right.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: not so formal intro

It came out of nowhere, really. She was bitching about dirty dishes when WHAM! some force just came over, no, THROUGH me and rebuked her.

That was the Holy Spirit, my friend.
And what a beautiful example of the Holy Spirit in action it sounds like!
Whenever you may feel the Holy Spirit descending upon you, you should always give in to it.