[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Hey. I made it!

If there is one thing I agree with the True Christians here 100%, it is on the issue of homosexuality.

Well HALLELUJAH! Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

to choose a same-sex partner and a gay lifestyle is the road to ruination.

AMEN! The story of David and Jonathan in I Samuel gives us exactly this same warning. These two were into taking off their robes in front of each other, kissing and holding hands all the time, and "delighting much" in each other. Jonathan's father Saul found out about all their sinful same-sex shenanigans, and tried, but failed, to put a stop to it.

Saul eventually bought into the homosexural agenda and forgave David, so God decided to punish both him and David by killing Jonathan, and leaving David to weep about it: "I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women."

I don't see it as a mental illness, I just see it as just plain unnatural, and from the religious point of view it's unscriptural, a sin and an abomnation to God.

AMEN again! I would have never expected to read such True Christian words from a Hellbound Atheist like yourself.

As a Saved True Christian, I know that my morals come unfiltered straight from God. Therefore, if something seems unnatural to me, if I don't understand it, or if I simply decide I don't like it, then I automatically know that it is wrong for everyone, amen.

Conversely, if something (such as Christianity or Heterosexuality) works well for me, then it is the only thing that could ever possibly work for anyone. What is true for me is true for everyone. Truth is Truth.

What I don't understand, "Minister" Noddy, is why you agree on this one point, but you reject so much else as "metaphor"? You agree that homosexuality is an abomination, but you obviously disagree that it is a shame for a woman to speak in the church.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Hey. I made it!

No. I've just seen some of the videos on tv (mainly MTV) with girls shaking their bottoms and stripping down to almost nothing and I just get this weird feeling. I don't know if I'm getting "turned-on" by this or if I'm getting flat-out sick of it.

Well, seeing as how debached MTV is, most likely those so-called "hos" where actually cross-dressing males. So you were coveting males, which Jesus can forgive.

Here is what a proper, God-fearing woman is supposed to look like: are you aroused?



Now, here is a hard-core pic, of a woman being raped by a negro bus driver. Which of them arouses you more?



If you do feel feelings, remember that Jesus only wants you put to death if you act on them. This thread might be a good place to start learning the subtle art of repression. Just bottle up the feelings, practise distracting yourself with housework, etc. That's what I do with my homocidal impulses.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Hey. I made it!

Of course I believe in GOD and JESUS CHRIST. I just wasn't raised in one specific type of church because my parents believe that all you really need is a strong belief in God, a belief in Jesus and that he was the son of God, a belief in the Bible, and that faith can heal anything without having to commit yourself to one specific church.

Hi again Amara ... I didn't mean to skip over yours ... I'm glad you believe in Jesus and Christianity ...

... take care, noddy

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Hey. I made it!

"-- supporter of evolution, quantum mechanics, superstring theory, nuclear gravitation field theory, and happy with it"
-Minister Naughty

Now now! Don't try to sneak stuff like this unholy mess in to our GODLY forum!

Evilution has been done to death and thoroughly disproved. If Evilution were a fact, children would be clones of their parents.

Quantum mechanics? Sorry! You'd have to be a boson to believe in something you can't see.

Superstring theory.....D'Oh! Not only does SST not prove, predict or explain anything at all, it sends people insane who attempt to puzzle it out. George Dubya Bush was lucky to quit physics when he did, or he'd be mad as a hatter.

And you last nonsensical belief....nuclear gravitation field theory. Why there isn't even such a thing. Scientists in FRANCE (where else!) are spending trillions of dollars on something called the Large Hadron Collider to prove that if you run something into something else hard enough, you will break it. We already know that. And we know that things don't float off into space because the weight of all the angels in heaven hold them down. Gravity is a theory no one can prove.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Hey. I made it!

"-- supporter of evolution, quantum mechanics, superstring theory, nuclear gravitation field theory, and happy with it"

-Minister Naughty

Now now! Don't try to sneak stuff like this unholy mess in to our GODLY forum!

Evilution has been done to death and thoroughly disproved. If Evilution were a fact, children would be clones of their parents.

Quantum mechanics? Sorry! You'd have to be a boson to believe in something you can't see.

Superstring theory.....D'Oh! Not only does SST not prove, predict or explain anything at all, it sends people insane who attempt to puzzle it out. George Dubya Bush was lucky to quit physics when he did, or he'd be mad as a hatter.

And you last nonsensical belief....nuclear gravitation field theory. Why there isn't even such a thing. Scientists in FRANCE (where else!) are spending trillions of dollars on something called the Large Hadron Collider to prove that if you run something into something else hard enough, you will break it. We already know that. And we know that things don't float off into space because the weight of all the angels in heaven hold them down. Gravity is a theory no one can prove.

Ah ha! noticed my new sig, hey? But I keep revising my sig every day or so just for the fun of it, Pastor Al.

Aww, why spoil the fun?

Hey, about Nuclear Grav Theory, go see my latest post in the Lutheran Science fictionists create more non-facts thread.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: Hey. I made it!

In the town where I live it is not politically correct to put down gays, it's considered a no-no. Well I say poo to that. On this forum I'd like to tell it like I really see it. Things have gone too far! It's a disgrace!

Is that a fact? I thought the Unsaved Kingdom was overrun by towel-heads by now. The Moo-hampster might not have gotten everything right, but at least his followers know how to keep gays in their place.

I don't believe people are born gay, or are compelled to be gay because of their hormones, or that it's natural to be gay. I don't believe in gay marriage or gay rights. They can keep their gayness to themselves in their own bedrooms, that's the way I see it.

Well, maybe that's the way you see it, but I'm afraid God doesn't agree. Even in their bedrooms, Jesus will be able to watch their naked, same-gender escapades with displeasure.

As Baptists we hate the sin, not the sinner. Nowhere does God (KJV1611) order us to stone people to death for having homersexural thoughts - they are only to be stoned if they act on these sinful impulses.

As a young man I myself was tempted by SATAN, but by spendings my days in rigorous, sweaty labor and my nights in prayer and fasting, I was able to fight those urges. Today I'm completely cleansed by the Blood of the Lamb and those thoughts don't bother me like they used to.

For those who are less strong in faith, Jesus has a few words on how to fight the temptations of the flesh:

Matthew 5:27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Matthew 5:29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
Matthew 5:30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Cut off your hands to prevent self-play. What a friend we have in Jesus. Amen.

It's a pity we haven't seen our old brother Born Again Bob for a while. After having read Matthew 19:12, Bob carried out in action the word of our Saviour and became a Eunuch for the Kingdom of Heaven™. Now he's the leader of our ex-gay ministry. Our old member (or should I say ex-member) might have had a few words of GODLY advice.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Hey. I made it!

Is that a fact? I thought the Unsaved Kingdom was overrun by towel-heads by now. The Moo-hampster might not have gotten everything right, but at least his followers know how to keep gays in their place.

Hmmm Mr Danish, I'm not sure what you mean by your comment. What have towelheads got to do with my own belief that the fay lifestyle is wrong?

... just wondering, noddy

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: Hey. I made it!

Hmmm Mr Danish, I'm not sure what you mean by your comment. What have towelheads got to do with my own belief that the fay lifestyle is wrong?

... just wondering, noddy

I can understand your confusion - it seems I was quoting the wrong part of your post. It should be fixed now.

I was surprised by your statement that, where you live "it is not politically correct to put down gays, it's considered a no-no" Let me tell you that here in Scandinavia we have a sizable portion of Musselmaniacs and I can assure you that we don't see any girly-men prancing down the streets - or any diesel-dykes for that matter. The Mooslims don't have a problem with being politically incorrect.

I suppose it raises some profound theological questions about who is worse, Mooslims or gender-benders, but it's a moot point, since they'll end up in the same Hell.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Hey. I made it!

I can understand your confusion - it seems I was quoting the wrong part of your post. It should be fixed now.

I was surprised by your statement that, where you live "it is not politically correct to put down gays, it's considered a no-no" Let me tell you that here in Scandinavia we have a sizable portion of Musselmaniacs and I can assure you that we don't see any girly-men prancing down the streets - or any diesel-dykes for that matter. The Mooslims don't have a problem with being politically incorrect.

I suppose it raises some profound theological questions about who is worse, Mooslims or gender-benders, but it's a moot point, since they'll end up in the same Hell.

Okay good, thanks for straightening that out for me. Gosh Mr Prune, are you from Scandinavia?

[Joe the Atheist]

Re: Hey. I made it!

Minister Noddy,

Episcopalianism is about the only flavor of Christianity that I respect. I have read a lot of John Shelby Spong's works, and I liked what I read.

I read several of your posts here on this site, and I was on your side until I read this one:

Hello Amara, and welcome to the forum. I'm glad you were finally able to resolve your problems signing into the board.

If there is one thing I agree with the True Christians here 100%, it is on the issue of homosexuality.

I can't stand to see gayness happening all around us; sissy boy-boy couples grabbing each other's backsides in full public view repulses me; lesbo lovers holding hands on the street and feeling each other up under the tables in the coffee shops in my town revolts me.

I don't believe people are born gay, or are compelled to be gay because of their hormones, or that it's natural to be gay. I don't believe in gay marriage or gay rights. They can keep their gayness to themselves in their own bedrooms, that's the way I see it.

In the town where I live it is not politically correct to put down gays, it's considered a no-no. Well I say poo to that. On this forum I'd like to tell it like I really see it. Things have gone too far! It's a disgrace!

I think there is a certain inclination in some young pubescent teens to identify with the same sex temporarily, but to experiment or act on any such impulses is just plain wrong; and to choose a same-sex partner and a gay lifestyle is the road to ruination.

I don't see it as a mental illness, I just see it as just plain unnatural, and from the religious point of view it's unscriptural, a sin and an abomnation to God.

Please assure us that you aren't going to make the mistake of going down the road to gayness. You can chose normal heterosexuality before it's too late. Forget the bi-crap also. If you're a female, then get a healthy interest in good clean wholesome American boys.

...

(PS ... I'm not one of them ... I'm an episcopal church minister ... considered by our pastors to be a false-christian church)

... concerned, noddy

You say you aren't one of them, but I can't see how you are any different.

--Joe

[roserougesang]

Re: Hey. I made it!

She is very pretty I must agree. Alas, if only I had the patience and stamina to waist-train, I would love to be able to have a waist that size.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Hey. I made it!

Minister Noddy,

Episcopalianism is about the only flavor of Christianity that I respect. I have read a lot of John Shelby Spong's works, and I liked what I read.

I read several of your posts here on this site, and I was on your side until I read this one:

You say you aren't one of them, but I can't see how you are any different.

--Joe

Thanks for your comments, Joe, and welcome to the forum. I've already read a few of your posts as well, and you seem like a person of logic and reason. You have it right about the Bible being stories written by ancients, then collected and revised, translated and collated into the Latin Vulgate, which became the foundation of the Roman Church in 325 AD.

The good Baptists on this forum consider me an atheist and bound for hell, of course. I'm a communion minister in the Episcopal Church. I practice Christianity in the Anglican tradition because it is beautiful and inspiring, but in my everyday life I'm a humanist.

A few acquaintances of mine are gays, they are perfectly pleasant, they are academic types, well-educated, have good jobs, their private lives appear to be stable; it's just that I happen to be personally against the gay lifestyle.

... take care, noddy

[Joe the Atheist]

Re: Hey. I made it!

The good Baptists on this forum consider me an atheist and bound for hell, of course. I'm a communion minister in the Episcopal Church. I practice Christianity in the Anglican tradition because it is beautiful and inspiring, but in my everyday life I'm a humanist.

I've seen that, and I think that's kind of funny. I consider myself to be a humanist, too.

A few acquaintances of mine are gays, they are perfectly pleasant, they are academic types, well-educated, have good jobs, their personal lives appear to be stable; it's just that I happen to be personally against the gay lifestyle.

I thought they were on "the road to ruination". It sounds like they are doing ok.

What I meant earlier when I said I can't see how you are any different, is that it seems you are taking something you are against personally, then finding a bit of scripture (sin, abomination to God) that affirms your own prejudice.

Personally, I don't want to see a gay couple or a straight couple "feeling each other up under the tables", but I have no problems seeing either kind of couple holding hands.

Please don't take offense to this. I like everything else you post.

--Joe

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Hey. I made it!

I've seen that, and I think that's kind of funny. I consider myself to be a humanist, too.

I thought they were on "the road to ruination". It sounds like they are doing ok.

What I meant earlier when I said I can't see how you are any different, is that it seems you are taking something you are against personally, then finding a bit of scripture (sin, abomination to God) that affirms your own prejudice.

Personally, I don't want to see a gay couple or a straight couple "feeling each other up under the tables", but I have no problems seeing either kind of couple holding hands.

Please don't take offense to this. I like everything else you post.

--Joe

Thanks for your kind words, Joe!

I have to admit it's pretty tricky for me being both an atheist who supports modern science and cosmology and believes in evolution, and on Sundays a formally vested communion-taking, chalice-bearing liturgical minister in one of the most magnificent churches the world has ever seen.

And as if that weren't enough, here I am on a Baptist Church forum, debating theology with fundamentalists. Never a dull moment!

In my 'gayness' post I was really talking about the kind of gay couples who display their physical desires and relationship in public, kissing and fondling in my favorite coffee shop downtown, in the movie theaters, in restaurants and stores, in the parks, you name it. At the same time, I believe in rights for everyone and freedom of lifestyle of choice. I guess I just don't believe in legal gay marriage or in public physical displays.

[Sista Lateefah]

Re: Hey. I made it!

I have to admit it's pretty tricky for me being both an atheist who supports modern science and cosmology and believes in evolution, and on Sundays a formally vested communion-taking, chalice-bearing liturgical minister in one of the most magnificent churches the world has ever seen.

OH MY LORD! She have admitted that her and her cult be a buncha atheists!!! I know it don't surprise nobody at Landover that they be atheists, but the surprise fo' me be that she had admitted it! I think this actually be a good thang, though. The first step to fixin' a problem be to admit thatchoo haves a problem in the first place. If we prays fo' Minister Noodlehead enough, maybe she will repent o' her mockin' God and come to Him fo' fo'giveness.