This site is Very interesting...

[ImonaBoat]

I joined here not too long ago because I would like to add a little input to the site. I am a Lutheran, i have been for all my life. To earn my living, I am enlisted in the United States Navy as a Damage Controlman. The biggest problem people here might have with me is that I am Goth. Reading through a thread here, I've noticed quite a few misconceptions here about the Goth subculture, and I'd like to do what I can to put those straight.

[GOD=life]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

The biggest problem people here might have with me is that I am Goth.

No, the biggest problem is that you don't even understand why it's wrong to be a goth.

You have to accept the severity of your sin before you can cleanse yourself of said sin.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

[...]I am a Lutheran, i have been for all my life. To earn my living, I am enlisted in the United States Navy as a Damage Controlman. The biggest problem people here might have with me is that I am Goth. [...]

One out of three isn't going to be your ticket to heaven, son.

The gothism is most serious, Imagine that the enemy hit the ship. You're damage control. You run to the captain, and call, "Aaarrr, Cap'n, we're holed on the water line at the for'ard gunnel!"

What's the captain going to do?

I tell you what he's going to do, he's going to take one look at you, think that hell has released its demons and go into a panic.

If you have any care for your seamen friends, you'll start being normal.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

I joined here not too long ago because I would like to add a little input to the site. I am a Lutheran, i have been for all my life. To earn my living, I am enlisted in the United States Navy as a Damage Controlman. The biggest problem people here might have with me is that I am Goth. Reading through a thread here, I've noticed quite a few misconceptions here about the Goth subculture, and I'd like to do what I can to put those straight.

Reject your mythical god and accept the one true God, being in the Navy you are already on the High Seas, the promised land of the chosen people

The Torahtellini Part 2
*As transcribed by Platypus Enthusiast
Chapter 1

44 “Yeah, well to make up for it, I decided to give you and your descendants your own land.”
45 “Aww sweet dude.
46 I‟ve actually had my eye on Canaan.”
47 “No dude, there‟s already people living there. 48 What would you do, kill them all?”
49 “Uh…”
50 “No, your Promised Land will be the sea.
51 And you get the whole thing, but only on the condition that you and your descendants are pirates.
52 I like pirates.
53 Cool?
54 “Yeah man, it's a deal.”
55 And so the Pastament was made.

[HTannor]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

The best damage control you can do is dump the lutheranist leanings and goth lifestyle.

Once purified of those tragic character flaws, you can accept the One True Religion™ that you found by discovering us.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

The best damage control you can do is dump the lutheranist leanings and goth lifestyle.

Once purified of those tragic character flaws, you can accept the One True Religion™ that you found by discovering us.

My hope is that through my words he can find the One True Religion, but it is not that vile and sadistic one you and the Pastors preach, through the use of logic and reason he will come to understand the Glory of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, and see your collection of fairy tails for what it is, nothing more then an attempt to justify your own failings.

You see a person having fun, enjoying life and you can not accept it, you are incapable of such pleasure, you get your warped pleasure in thinking about them being punished just for living life to the full.

Our creator wants us to have pleasure in this life, and has a heaven of even more pleasure waiting for us in the next life.

[ImonaBoat]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

Reject your mythical god and accept the one true God, being in the Navy you are already on the High Seas, the promised land of the chosen people

The Torahtellini Part 2
*As transcribed by Platypus Enthusiast
Chapter 1

44 “Yeah, well to make up for it, I decided to give you and your descendants your own land.”
45 “Aww sweet dude.
46 I‟ve actually had my eye on Canaan.”
47 “No dude, there‟s already people living there. 48 What would you do, kill them all?”
49 “Uh…”
50 “No, your Promised Land will be the sea.
51 And you get the whole thing, but only on the condition that you and your descendants are pirates.
52 I like pirates.
53 Cool?
54 “Yeah man, it's a deal.”
55 And so the Pastament was made.

While I do agree that his Noodleyness is indeed epic, i am afraid that i am unable to convert at this time. I do however like Pirates, and am stationed on a ship named after a Pirate Haven, so Mayhaps we can come to an agreement!

The gothism is most serious, Imagine that the enemy hit the ship. You're damage control. You run to the captain, and call, "Aaarrr, Cap'n, we're holed on the water line at the for'ard gunnel!"

What's the captain going to do?

I tell you what he's going to do, he's going to take one look at you, think that hell has released its demons and go into a panic.

If you have any care for your seamen friends, you'll start being normal.

As amusing as that would seem, and as much enjoyment as I would get in saying that, I would be in a much less whimsy mindset to say that to the good captain. Besides, we have a uniform that I wear while on board.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

While I do agree that his Noodleyness is indeed epic, i am afraid that i am unable to convert at this time. I do however like Pirates, and am stationed on a ship named after a Pirate Haven, so Mayhaps we can come to an agreement!

Read more about The Great Noodle, get yourself a large bowl of Pasta, a flagon of Grog and read the True Gospel.
Do not let the myths that you find being force feed to people in this place distract you.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster has a Beer Volcano and a Stripper factory waiting for you. What do these people offer you in their version of Heaven, a sadistic place when the only pleasure it be had is to be forced to watch the suffering of others. Their heaven is tailored to the unhinged and clinically insane, a place that only a sadist could possibly enjoy.

[ImonaBoat]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

Read more about The Great Noodle, get yourself a large bowl of Pasta, a flagon of Grog and read the True Gospel.
Do not let the myths that you find being force feed to people in this place distract you.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster has a Beer Volcano and a Stripper factory waiting for you. What do these people offer you in their version of Heaven, a sadistic place when the only pleasure it be had is to be forced to watch the suffering of others. Their heaven is tailored to the unhinged and clinically insane, a place that only a sadist could possibly enjoy.

Very well, I shall indeed get some Pasta and Grog from the Galley, and read further into His Noodley works. Heaven knows I do disagree with 98% of what these Zealots say.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

I joined here not too long ago because I would like to add a little input to the site.

We are here to praise Jesus. Why would that require input?

I am a Lutheran, i have been for all my life.

Then you must realize that you are damned.

To earn my living, I am enlisted in the United States Navy as a Damage Controlman.

Have you ever engaged in any homersexural activities while at sea? If so, we might be able to help you, by using the highly succesful BASH program, which turns gays into Ex-Gays©.

The biggest problem people here might have with me is that I am Goth.

Possibly, but that doesn't mean we're just going to overlook the fact that you're a Lutheran and possibly a homer.

Reading through a thread here, I've noticed quite a few misconceptions here about the Goth subculture, and I'd like to do what I can to put those straight.

I'm afraid we are under no misconceptions. You see, everything we believe comes straight from the Mouth of God(c):

Zephaniah 1:8 (King James Version)

8And it shall come to pass in the day of the LORD's sacrifice, that I will punish the princes, and the king's children, and all such as are clothed with strange apparel.

[ImonaBoat]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

Have you ever engaged in any homersexural activities while at sea? If so, we might be able to help you, by using the highly succesful BASH program, which turns gays into Ex-Gays©.
Possibly, but that doesn't mean we're just going to overlook the fact that you're a Lutheran and possibly a homer.

O Yah, That's why i joined this place! To be called Gay because of my job! I forgot!!

[GOD=life]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

My hope is that through my words he can find the One True Religion, ...

If you followed the One True Religion, you wouldn't have to hope, you would pray. And receive.

through the use of logic and reason he will come to understand the Glory of The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Right. You eat the physical manifestation of your god. At least catherlicks only do so metaphorically.

Would you hold Christianity in higher regard if we made dinner in the form of Jesus Christ and then ate it?

[Jo Freddie]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

Very well, I shall indeed get some Pasta and Grog from the Galley, and read further into His Noodley works. Heaven knows I do disagree with 98% of what these Zealots say.

The Book of Penelope
a history of a venerated ancient prophet
Chapter 3

7She decided to take a short nap under a meatball tree. 8Naps had been invented just last week and Penelope was nothing if not a trend setter. 9As she slept she dreamed that she came upon a large building 10and out of the building an endless line of cute guys 11(with the occasional cute redheaded woman, told you she was trendy!). 12Any way she watched and thought "that's the LAST time I mix my beers".

13She approached one of the cute guys and noticed he was wearing only a G string and some 'pasties'. 14MMMmmm nice she thought all but the pasties. 15"It must be hard to look manly in pasties", she said. 16"You don't know the half of it"! the cute guy said. 17"What is this place?" cried Penelope. 18"Don't cry" said the cute guy "for this is the stripper factory"! 19"The Stripper factory?" cried Penelope.

20"Yes our Lord FSM created it for all those who would not be big jerks and go around telling people what to believe". 21"Well that seems decent of FSM but tell me why are there only cute guys and the occasional redheaded woman? 22I'm trendy but not everyone else is". 23"It is because you are here. 24As with the beer volcano, so it is with the stripper factory. 25YOU and your desires dictate the out-put.... 26Why last year we had on guy who stood where you are standing 27and SHEEP (shorn of course) emerged from the factory". 28The cute guy looked into Penelope's eyes and said "would you like to see my etchings?"

A much more civilized view of Heaven I'm sure you would agree.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

O Yah, That's why i joined this place! To be called Gay because of my job! I forgot!!

A True Christian™ reaches out to you in Christian love, and that's how you thank him.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: This site is Very interesting...

Right. You eat the physical manifestation of your god. At least catherlicks only do so metaphorically.

We eat a dish in honour of the One True God as it pleases him, we do not eat God
The Holy Noodle

The Third Day: Land and Vegetation
Then the FSM said, “Let the earth bring forth grass, semolina, rice, and whatever else can be turned into food that resembles my Noodly Appendages,” and He saw that this was an original idea, which was certainly good.

The Olive Garden of Eden
That midget, however, was goddamn noisy. The FSM couldn’t deal with all the complaining down on earth, so the Lord FSM commanded the midget, saying, “Here’s an idea . . . why don’t you collect the semolina, rice and what-have-you, and make pasta in my image. That’s what it’s there for. And fill your mouth with it and be quiet and peaceful. But be careful with the olive tree, for the olive itself is good, but the pit inside is rock hard and you could choke on it or break a tooth, so you should consider it as evil; if you choke you shall surely die. Which would mean I wasted a hell of a lot of time on you, although I’m already having second thoughts.”