[Serious]

Re: Serious Questions

Really? Or did you just not find the answers you wanted?

I apologize for coming across as so rude, I was tired and ever since school has let out we've been inundated by children whose liebral parents think that the computer makes a good babysitter.

It's OK I expected worse. And yes I really have been reading these forums for hours, it facinates me.

And what does YIC stand for? Yours in Christ? (I figured this out while waiting the 300 seconds between posts)

[Levi Jones]

Re: Serious Questions

Male, 16, every Sunday.

I strongly encourage you to actually read the Bible instead of relying on the priests to tell you what's in it.

You may think we are mean, but we are always scripturally correct.

And what does YIC stand for? Yours in Christ?

Correct.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Serious Questions

I have been reading these forums for many hours and before this topic had not found the answers to my questions...

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Serious Questions

First off, the questions I'm asking are because I legitamitely want to know the answers. I am not trying to convince you guys of anything or argue or any of that crap. Now I know this happens a lot, but please give me some real answers instead of telling me to read my rights on the forum and the FAQ and that I should tell you all about myself and all that. And yes Felicity I guess we can be friends.

Now that that's over, the questions.

#1 - Why the KJV1611? What makes it different than other Bibles? The only thing I know about it is that it was the first Bible that was written in the vernacular.

#2 - When was the first Bible written and in what language?

#3 - Do you think it is possible that some of the things said in the KJV1611 Bible are just figures of speech? For example:

Jeremiah 16:19:
O LORD, my strength, and my fortress, and my refuge in the day of affliction, the Gentiles shall come unto thee from the ends of the earth, and shall say, Surely our fathers have inherited lies, vanity, and things wherein there is no profit.

You could conclude that that verse is proof the Earth being flat. But, couldn't it just be an expression that could just as easily be replaced with "all of the world"? Again, just asking...please don't take offense to this... I know you will.

#4 - Can a non-white person be saved? Ever? Even if they completely follow the KJV1611?

#5 - Do you believe that under no circumstances can rape be a man's fault? Never? There is no durranged men out there that rape innocent True Christian women? Is there some sort of verse that confirms this?

#6 - Does God actually hate entire contries just based on generalizations that may only apply to a limited amount of that countrie's population? Or because of certain laws?

#7 - What is supposed to happen if a married person gets raped? (marriage wise)

#8 - Does marriage have anything to do with love? Or is just about having babies? (I'm not talking about sex, I am talking about marriage)

#9 - Should a women ever have a career? What about a women who is not fertile?

#10 - What do you True Christians do for fun? How much time a day do you spend reading the KJV1611?

Hopefully I'll get some serious answers and won't be seen as a devil worshipping atheist...but seeing from so many previous people...my chances seem slim at best...

This has to be the worst introduction ever. Do you even know what the word means, boy?

YOU are supposed to tell us about YOURSELF. You church, your favorite verses, your relationship with Jesus, etc. It isn't the "grill the Christians" thread, is it?

[Brother Snapper Grogan]

Re: Serious Questions

I don't pray to Mary.
I don't know much about the Pope or any rings.
Umm...I don't know what to say to the last one...what do you mean?

You're a catylick but:
- You don't pray to Mary?
- You don't know about the pope's ring?
- You don't know about catylick priests interfering with little boys?

I'm having serious doubts about you. Still, on the premise that you're just remarkably uninformed about the cult you belong to, I highly recommend Pastor Ezekial's excellent treatise on Why Roman Catholic Papists Are NOT Christians.

And reading the KJV 1611 Bible, of course.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Serious Questions

I suspect this poor lad only knows about catlicks what his priest has told him.

I am terrified to think that this innocent child must think that a 'private communion' with a priest in the back of the Church van is what God wants.
That the blood of Christ is emitted from his rectum after the priest injects his ministerings and then (with both hands), attempts to pull the demons from deep with in his bowels.
Son, please give me the name of your priest and the name of your Church. This horrible behavior must be stopped.

[Serious]

Re: Serious Questions

I suspect this poor lad only knows about catlicks what his priest has told him.

I am terrified to think that this innocent child must think that a 'private communion' with a priest in the back of the Church van is what God wants.
That the blood of Christ is emitted from his rectum after the priest injects his ministerings and then (with both hands), attempts to pull the demons from deep with in his bowels.
Son, please give me the name of your priest and the name of your Church. This horrible behavior must be stopped.

What are you talking about? There are no "Church Vans" and we don't have anything to do with exorcisms.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Serious Questions

What are you talking about? There are no "Church Vans" and we don't have anything to do with exorcisms.

He's speaking of the rampant paedophilia throughout the Catholic church.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Serious Questions

we don't have anything to do with exorcisms.

Really?

I believe the manual was last updated in 1999.

[Brother Snapper Grogan]

Re: Serious Questions

we don't have anything to do with exorcisms.

Really?

Either you're not really a catlicker or, if you are, you've been serially lied to about the beliefs of your cult.

[Serious]

Re: Serious Questions

To be quite honest (don't mean to offend), before I saw this site I thought an exorcism was just something in a dumb Hollywood movie.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Serious Questions

To be quite honest (don't mean to offend), before I saw this site I thought an exorcism was just something in a dumb Hollywood movie.

Friend, I strongly suspect there is an awful lot you do not know. But you are a mere child, in time you will learn, hopefully.

Read your (the KJV) Bible.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Serious Questions

To be quite honest (don't mean to offend), before I saw this site I thought an exorcism was just something in a dumb Hollywood movie.

You haven't heard about the new marketing initiative coming out of the Vatican called ExorcismsRus?

[Brother Snapper Grogan]

Re: Serious Questions

To be quite honest (don't mean to offend), before I saw this site I thought an exorcism was just something in a dumb Hollywood movie.

No offense taken, Serious. Many, if not most, catlicks are woefully ignorant about what their church really believes. Whether it's a sin of omission or a deliberate lie on the part of their priests I leave you to decide. As you can see by the links, they don't actually hide it but they don't go out of their way to explain it to the people who, in theory, should know everything about their church - their congregation.

Many people who call themselves Christians are also woefully ignorant about The Bible.

Here at Landover Baptist Church we try to convince people to read the whole of the Holy KJV Bible of 1611 and, through that, to gain direct knowledge of His Holy Word. That way leads to salvation.

Now that you know that you don't know everything about what your priests expect you to say you believe (how can you believe it if you don't know what it is that you're supposed to believe?), it might be a good start to look at some of the services and links available here to help you gain a better knowledge of The Bible (KJV1611 of course).

You don't need a priest or a pastor or anyone else to interpret God's Word - it's there in black and white for you to read yourself.

Don't be afraid to ask questions of our Pastors. That's what they're here for - not to interpret or mediate between you and God - but, as experts, to point you directly to God's own answers.

[scherzo]

Re: Serious Questions

Male, 16, every Sunday.

I do not believe he is being straight forward. He was first to mention exorcisms, then goes on to say they were something from a dumb Hollywood movie.

As the movie was made in 1973 he had to have been introduced to the idea of exorcism before, I do not think he is '16' as he says