looking too be saved

[gabriel james]

1.I am half black and half white
2.I havn't been too a church in quite some time
3.I dont want to go to hell for being half niglet
4.I live in Florida
5.I am a republican
6.Ezekiel 25:17 - "I will execute great vengeance on them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon them."
7.Im here for salvation

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: looking too be saved

Welcome Gabriel,

Not to worry about Salvation for the darkie in you. Jesus loves all that come to Him.

But, are you jooish as your name suggests?

Are you sinning with your filthy parts?

IV drugs?

Come clean and we'll get you saved!

Yours in Christ!

[Dirk]

Re: looking too be saved

1.I am half black and half white
2.I havn't been too a church in quite some time
3.I dont want to go to hell for being half niglet
4.I live in Florida
5.I am a republican
6.Ezekiel 25:17 - "I will execute great vengeance on them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon them."
7.Im here for salvation

I'm just worried about #2. That you're half black does not matter to us here at LBC, we don't like racism you know.

But why haven't you been to a church in a long time?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: looking too be saved

It's alright to be a negro as long as you suppress the urge to rape white women and do drive by shootings. Just sit on your hands and pray to Jesus when these instincts become operative. Better yet, do unpaid labor with your hands and sing to keep your spirits high.

[James Hutchins]

Re: looking too be saved

Wecome Gabriel, to God's Favorite Forum(c) when the unsaved are provided Salvation(tm).

Landover has an excellent ex-nigra program (so I am told). I have met a few graduates and they do not scare me anywhere as much as those nigra's that have not been reformed. Being you are only half nigra, you might be able to get a discount, perhaps as much as 10% off.

Tell me Gabriel, how many sons have you fathered out of wedlock?

[gabriel james]

Re: looking too be saved

I am a virgin I am 24 and havnt been to my church in about three months i was recently in an accident and had too move in with my parents away from my church and no longer have transportation too get there also i havnt touched myself sinfully since new years of 08 church isnt something im avoiding im just looking for the right one in my location its along hop to the bus station on crutches the urge to rape white women and do drive byes was beaten out of me by my father before I got the idea praise the lord
ive read alot of your noob forum and ive learned alot from this site in my time there alone enough to relize im not sure if i am educated in christianity and that im not sure if i was saved properly(if that makes since).

[Dirk]

Re: looking too be saved

I am a virgin I am 24 and havnt been to my church in about three months i was recently in an accident and had too move in with my parents away from my church and no longer have transportation too get there also i havnt touched myself sinfully since new years of 08 church isnt something im avoiding im just looking for the right one in my location its along hop to the bus station on crutches the urge to rape white women and do drive byes was beaten out of me by my father before I got the idea praise the lord
ive read alot of your noob forum and ive learned alot from this site in my time there alone enough to relize im not sure if i am educated in christianity and that im not sure if i was saved properly(if that makes since).

Please use punctuation and capital letters where necessary, God likes that.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: looking too be saved

I am a virgin I am 24 and havnt been to my church in about three months i was recently in an accident and had too move in with my parents away from my church and no longer have transportation too get there also i havnt touched myself sinfully since new years of 08 church isnt something im avoiding im just looking for the right one in my location its along hop to the bus station on crutches the urge to rape white women and do drive byes was beaten out of me by my father before I got the idea praise the lord
ive read alot of your noob forum and ive learned alot from this site in my time there alone enough to relize im not sure if i am educated in christianity and that im not sure if i was saved properly(if that makes since).

Praise Jesus for your honesty Brother!

But we aren't "texting" each other here. I know its the lack of education beyond 3rd grade and the laziness of the negro in you, but please make an effort to use capital letters, periods, paragraphs, etc.

Jesus expects some respect when communicating about Him.

God Bless!

[gabriel james]

Re: looking too be saved

I apologize, and no I am not a Jew.

[Dirk]

Re: looking too be saved

I apologize, and no I am not a Jew.

I like you already!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: looking too be saved

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[gabriel james]

Re: looking too be saved

Thank you Psstor Ezekiel.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: looking too be saved

Ahoy there gabriel, If you would like to find out the truth about The One True God may I suggest you read these:

The Holy Noodle
A Condensed History of the World
Edd's Letters
The Most High and Holy Prayer
Pirates’ Effects on Global Warming.

You can also find details of how to get hold of The Holy Texts in my signature.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: looking too be saved

Thank you Psstor Ezekiel.

You are quite welcome James.

And ignore the pirate. He'll have you bowing down to a plate of garlic-stinking dago food in a thrice. His way leads to hellfire.

[gabriel james]

Re: looking too be saved

No thank you Freddie, I don't do Italian.