Landover

[Dicky_Dorkins]

I would very much like to visit Landover. I hear the cheese steaks are pretty good. I'm having a little trouble locating it on google maps and finding out how the get there. Would somebody be kind enough to offer directions?

[Talitha]

Re: Landover

I would very much like to visit Landover. I hear the cheese steaks are pretty good. I'm having a little trouble locating it on google maps and finding out how the get there. Would somebody be kind enough to offer directions?

True Christians(tm) only.
Sorry.

[Dicky_Dorkins]

Re: Landover

I might want to sign up if the cheese steak is as good as people say.

[SUV]

Re: Landover

I would very much like to visit Landover. I hear the cheese steaks are pretty good. I'm having a little trouble locating it on google maps and finding out how the get there. Would somebody be kind enough to offer directions?

We Christians are Certainly "kind" enough....

But we are now way going to give you directions here with a face like yours!

[James Dewitt]

Re: Landover

I would very much like to visit Landover. I hear the cheese steaks are pretty good. I'm having a little trouble locating it on google maps and finding out how the get there. Would somebody be kind enough to offer directions?

Is it cheese steaks that you want, great go to Philly you can find them on any street corner.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Landover

I might want to sign up if the cheese steak is as good as people say.

Will you be bringing the teapot?

[Dicky_Dorkins]

Re: Landover

I like the new name "Dicky", I'm going to use that from now on. Thanks. It'll be on the cover of my next book "God is a load of bollocks". Anyone fancy a free copy by way of a thank you?

[Nobar King]

Re: Landover

To burn, sure.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Landover

I might want to sign up if the cheese steak is as good as people say.

No way. We know all about your habits in movie theaters.

Though we don't know dick, did you?

[Dicky_Dorkins]

Re: Landover

No way. We know all about your habits in movie theaters.

Though we don't know dick, did you?

Even I repent and agree to tithe? I've found it a lot of fun over the years to mock god and indulge in perverted sexual practices but as one gets older one fears death and the final judgement.

I may want to repent before I die? It is not unreasonable to check out the cheese steaks in Landover prior to deciding whether to repent yet, or leave it few years until I'm older.

After all, the lure of perverted sexual practices make conversion difficult when you've still got a few years left in you. A decent cheese steak and it might be worthwhile signing up sooner rather than later.

I've checked out other god squads but you guys are the only true christians.

[Brother V]

Re: Landover

...

I've checked out other god squads but you guys are the only true christians.

Hey, wasn't a preacher forced to resign in shame after the last time you visited a church?

Did a demon of homosexuality and meth hitch a ride with your godless soul and then jump into poor unsuspecting Ted Haggard?

If that could happen to as Godly a man as Brother Ted Haggard, who after your visit started to like having butt-sex with male prostitutes while sniffing meth off their backsides, why would we let you anywhere near Freehold and Landover?


YIC
V

[HTannor]

Re: Landover

Amen, Brother V.

You beat me to it. I was going to say that his hang up on "cheese steak" was some sort of homer code.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Landover

Dicky, when you are on the Des Moines beltway, you'll see signs like this (this is from last winter during that awful mess when God made that bus full of nuns roll over an embankment. That reminds me of a joke- another time.

In any case, as it is a gated community, I am sure you'd be turned away and escorted back on to the freeway.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Landover

Even I repent and agree to tithe? I've found it a lot of fun over the years to mock god and indulge in perverted sexual practices but as one gets older one fears death and the final judgement.

I may want to repent before I die? It is not unreasonable to check out the cheese steaks in Landover prior to deciding whether to repent yet, or leave it few years until I'm older.

Oh great, another death bed converter. You do realize that God will only accept a death bed conversion if it is real. You cannot spend your life spitting in Jesus face and then expect him to accept you because you got scared at the last minute. It's not like witchcraft where you just say the magic words.

As for the cheese steaks, as Brother Dewitt said, go to Philly.

After all, the lure of perverted sexual practices make conversion difficult when you've still got a few years left in you. A decent cheese steak and it might be worthwhile signing up sooner rather than later.

I've checked out other god squads but you guys are the only True Christians.

You have not said one thing about loving Jesus or turning your life around. You don't even have the decency to capitalize True Christian(TM)

[handmaiden]

Re: Landover

Even I repent and agree to tithe? I've found it a lot of fun over the years to mock god and indulge in perverted sexual practices but as one gets older one fears death and the final judgement.

I may want to repent before I die? It is not unreasonable to check out the cheese steaks in Landover prior to deciding whether to repent yet, or leave it few years until I'm older.

After all, the lure of perverted sexual practices make conversion difficult when you've still got a few years left in you. A decent cheese steak and it might be worthwhile signing up sooner rather than later.

I've checked out other god squads but you guys are the only true christians.

Just how stupid do you think God is?

You've just announced via the Internet that you intend to sin for as long as you can, and the MAYBE, if nothing better is offered, you will accept the Lord.

Like Jesus doesn't have web access!? He's the Light of the World; the original fiber optic cable!

He sent all the words to the Bible wirelessly into the minds and hands of His scribes.

He's offering you salvation, NOW. He will not be stopping the bus by your house to pick you up on your deathbed.

The bus is here and He has paid for your ticket with His BLOOD!! Is there any earthly pleasure that can be worth losing out on Eternal Life?

Get on board while you have the chance. He has led you here to make your choice now; tomorrow the bus may run you over.

Play now -- Pay later-- and still later forevermore.

This-- now -- is the invite to enter Heaven's door.


Iambicly Yours,

Handmaiden