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  • Warner S. Davidson
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Jun 2010
    • 586

    #31
    Re: Turtles bring eternal life

    Originally posted by twocalmcows View Post
    I am part of an Indian cult that praises turtles and I want to be converted.. Well Ill let you try because I give everything a chance. Tell of this Jesus!
    Well as you claim to worship Turtles glorious afterlife with Jesus will certainly be unattainable for YOU

    Reptiles / amphibians are synonymous with the work of Satan

    Genesis 3:14


    So the LORD God said to the serpent:
    “ Because you have done this,
    You are cursed more than all cattle,
    And more than every beast of the field;
    On your belly you shall go,
    And you shall eat dust
    All the days of your life.


    Take leave from your workstation in the New Delhi call centre in which you work and repent now
    2 Samuel 22:31

    As for God, His way is perfect;
    The word of the LORD is proven;
    He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

    Comment

    • twocalmcows
      Unsaved trash
      • Aug 2010
      • 20

      #32
      Re: Turtles bring eternal life

      Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
      How can Jesus be a Jew?

      Jesus father is God Himself. Are you going to claim God is Jewish? Christ is white like any American.
      I don't know what to say to get this through to you.. The old testament which Jesus is the fulfillment of is a Jewish proclamation. Jesus was baptized as a Jewish man by a Jewish man. His mother, Joseph, and his 12 disciples were all Jewish.. Jesus was stoned as the "king of the Jews"!

      Comment

      • Bobby-Joe
        Landover Security Superviser
        Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
        NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 18405

        #33
        Re: Turtles bring eternal life

        Originally posted by twocalmcows View Post
        I don't know what to say to get this through to you.. The old testament which Jesus is the fulfillment of is a Jewish proclamation. Jesus was baptized as a Jewish man by a Jewish man. His mother, Joseph, and his 12 disciples were all Jewish.. Jesus was stoned as the "king of the Jews"!
        Again, yes, Jesus was raised in a Jewish community to a Jewish mother and Jewish stepfather, but to call Jesus racially a Jew is to claim God Himself is a Jew.

        Do you seriously want to do that?

        Next thing you will be saying Jesus was long haired, barefooted hippie who preached about love and talked to invisible people. I know you are an unbeliever but lighting up with the God mocking in our forum please.

        Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

        Hot Must ReadThreads!


        Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

        Comment

        • twocalmcows
          Unsaved trash
          • Aug 2010
          • 20

          #34
          Re: Turtles bring eternal life

          Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
          Again, yes, Jesus was raised in a Jewish community to a Jewish mother and Jewish stepfather, but to call Jesus racially a Jew is to claim God Himself is a Jew.

          Do you seriously want to do that?

          Next thing you will be saying Jesus was long haired, barefooted hippie who preached about love and talked to invisible people. I know you are an unbeliever but lighting up with the God mocking in our forum please.
          I wouldn't say im a nonbeliever, just a little skeptical.. Well maybe a lot skeptical. And Jesus probably did have long hair and he probably was racially Jewish. Im not mocking God im mocking you! This is a thread that I made that you have a choice to look in. You are the one that chooses to be affected by opinion so don't blame me for stating it.

          Comment

          • Jo Freddie
            Unsaved trash
            Hateful God mocking pirate
            • Apr 2009
            • 6339

            #35
            Re: Turtles bring eternal life

            I must say I have found this thread most disappointing I was hoping to see more discussion about the importance of Turtles, but there has been very little said about these wonderful creatures.

            Now I do not condone the worship of false Gods, and Turtles while magnificent are not any form of Holy being. They are important in a historical sense, as Noah tried to pay off the Pirates with some inferior specimens during the Pirate-Noah conflict at the time of the flood, The Pirates had many outstanding turtles that they would ride so the ones Noah had to offer were of no interest to them.
            Posted via Pasta

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            Comment

            • Billy Bob Jenkins
              Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
              About as Straight and Manly as you can get
              Hates anal sex. And trees.
              True Christian™
              • May 2010
              • 8337

              #36
              Re: Turtles bring eternal life

              Originally posted by twocalmcows View Post
              I wouldn't say im a nonbeliever, just a little skeptical.. Well maybe a lot skeptical. And Jesus probably did have long hair and he probably was racially Jewish. Im not mocking God im mocking you! This is a thread that I made that you have a choice to look in. You are the one that chooses to be affected by opinion so don't blame me for stating it.
              Thank you for persecuting us. The Lord loves us even more for it.

              Matthew 5:10-11 10Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

              Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

              Matthew 10:22 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.

              Matthew 24:9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake.

              Luke 21:17 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake.

              Romans 12:14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.

              1 Corinthians 4:12 And labour, working with our own hands: being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we suffer it:
              The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

              Comment

              • Rev. M. Rodimer
                Honorary True Christian™
                Forum Member
                • May 2008
                • 13996

                #37
                Re: Turtles bring eternal life

                Originally posted by twocalmcows View Post
                I don't know what to say to get this through to you.. The old testament which Jesus is the fulfillment of is a Jewish proclamation. Jesus was baptized as a Jewish man by a Jewish man. His mother, Joseph, and his 12 disciples were all Jewish.. Jesus was stoned as the "king of the Jews"!
                Originally posted by twocalmcows View Post
                I wouldn't say im a nonbeliever, just a little skeptical.. Well maybe a lot skeptical. And Jesus probably did have long hair and he probably was racially Jewish. Im not mocking God im mocking you! This is a thread that I made that you have a choice to look in. You are the one that chooses to be affected by opinion so don't blame me for stating it.
                Aren't you the one who claimed to worship turtles and want to learn about Jesus? Yet here you are, claiming to know all about him. Odd, that.

                Let me lay this out for you:

                Jews worship God.

                Jesus = God.
                If Jesus were a Jew, He would have to worship Himself. Are you calling God an egotistical twit?
                Jews are humans created by God.

                Jesus = God.
                If Jesus were a Jew, He would be human. Are you calling God a mere human?
                Jews do not believe Jesus = God.

                Jesus = God.
                For Jesus to be a Jew, He would have to not believe in Himself. Does that make any sense at all?
                Jew = Semite
                Arab = Semite
                God =/= Semite

                Jesus = God
                Jesus =/= Semite
                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                Comment

                • Jo Freddie
                  Unsaved trash
                  Hateful God mocking pirate
                  • Apr 2009
                  • 6339

                  #38
                  Re: Turtles bring eternal life

                  Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                  Are you calling God an egotistical twit?
                  They do not have to, the true christians do enough to show that the god of the kjv1611 collected fairy tales is such a deity.
                  Posted via Pasta

                  True Pastafarian™

                  May my Sauce be with you!
                  Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                  Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                  The Loose Canon - HTML version
                  Loose Canon Fan Page
                  North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
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                  Comment

                  • BelieverInGod
                    Fourm Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Feb 2010
                    • 9269

                    #39
                    Re: Turtles bring eternal life

                    Originally posted by twocalmcows View Post
                    Allah in the Aramaic language means GOD! All of you idiots around the world hate each other because you nickname your GOD something different. ZEUS, SHEBA, JESUS, BUDAH, Dahlli Lama, MOHAMED, ALLAH! (all same references to the human incarnation and eternal being) And Atheism is a belief that there is no higher power, not anything that is non Christian. For spazzy extremists y'all are pretty retarded.
                    Now, now, calm down. Is it milking time?

                    You do realize that the Dhali Lama is a man right? A lot of effort and some cash and you can go visit him. As for the rest, they're all false Gods, i.e. Satan trying to lead people astray.

                    Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
                    I must say I have found this thread most disappointing I was hoping to see more discussion about the importance of Turtles, but there has been very little said about these wonderful creatures.
                    I don't know about important, but they are delicious.
                    What's for lunch
                    Drama queen

                    Comment

                    • Jo Freddie
                      Unsaved trash
                      Hateful God mocking pirate
                      • Apr 2009
                      • 6339

                      #40
                      Re: Turtles bring eternal life

                      Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
                      You do realize that the Dhali Lama is a man right? A lot of effort and some cash and you can go visit him.
                      Where as the wise and learned Dalai Llama is in fact an alpaca through which God answered many of Frequently Asked's Questions.
                      Posted via Pasta

                      True Pastafarian™

                      May my Sauce be with you!
                      Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                      Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                      The Loose Canon - HTML version
                      Loose Canon Fan Page
                      North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
                      I have been to The Volcano!

                      Comment

                      • BelieverInGod
                        Fourm Member
                        Forum Member
                        • Feb 2010
                        • 9269

                        #41
                        Re: Turtles bring eternal life

                        Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
                        Where as the wise and learned Dalai Llama is in fact an alpaca through which God answered many of Frequently Asked's Questions.
                        You go name your alpaca whatever you want and have all the discussions about life you want with it. I'm pretty much convinced your brain is addled from being keel hauled one too many times.
                        Drama queen

                        Comment

                        • Jo Freddie
                          Unsaved trash
                          Hateful God mocking pirate
                          • Apr 2009
                          • 6339

                          #42
                          Re: Turtles bring eternal life

                          Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
                          You go name your alpaca whatever you want and have all the discussions about life you want with it. I'm pretty much convinced your brain is addled from being keel hauled one too many times.
                          I was not the one who had the conversation with the Holy Alpaca, that was inquisitive pirate who was called Frequently.
                          Posted via Pasta

                          True Pastafarian™

                          May my Sauce be with you!
                          Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                          Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                          The Loose Canon - HTML version
                          Loose Canon Fan Page
                          North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
                          I have been to The Volcano!

                          Comment

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