[Sister Charli]

Re: Introduction

Oh no no no little girl. You got it all wrong.

Firstly .... please do not call a 47 year old female a little girl.

See this screen name here was something to try to scare this pathetic cult for the greater good.

You chose your user name. Not me. Not anyone here.

I have no connection with the actually Illuminati whatsoever.

So you say

See the fact that you have such a wide knowledge of cults concerns me.

Of course we do. Many here have been saved from cults such as yours. Their testimony alone is enough education for the rest of us.

This would me that you and the rest of your little so called "true christians" did some good research to make yourself a legit cult and brainwash the weak minded.

Nup. No need to "research". Just to lend an ear to those who came to us from the vile perverted satanic cults you speak of.

Hm, now this sounds mighty familiar to the ways of the Illuminati back in 1776. Coping their methods I see. Like i told your other flunky, try again.

A hundred and 115 years too late!

[Levi Jones]

Re: Introduction

they say God hates a lot of things and people, when in fact in hates no one.

Really? I can name many examples of things and people God hates.

Proverbs 6:16-19 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:

A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren

Proverbs 8:13 The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.


Psalm 139:19-22 Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.
Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.

Deuteronomy 32:18-21 And when the LORD saw it, he abhorred them, because of the provoking of his sons, and of his daughters.

And he said, I will hide my face from them, I will see what their end shall be: for they are a very froward generation, children in whom is no faith. They have moved me to jealousy with that which is not God; they have provoked me to anger with their vanities: and I will move them to jealousy with those which are not a people; I will provoke them to anger with a foolish nation.

[Illuminati_Rep]

Re: Introduction

HA. Chuckle chuckle giggle giggle. Mother and son are trying to hit me with that double double. Then hit me with a PM and recommended prayer. Hm alright let me pray then. "Lord, please guide my pimp hand and keep it strong as I slap down these occult crazies and put them on the right path." Oh and yes, when you act like a little girl, you get referred too as one. I'm not going to sit here and keep telling you I have no part in the Illuminati, God knows I'm telling the truth. Well lemme clarify. My LEGIT Christian God knows, I can't speak for whomever you refer too as God. Anyway, I do pity yall. It must've been rough growing up with such a weak mind. I feel for ya

[handmaiden]

Re: Introduction

Mr. Illuminutty;

LBC is not a cult. We forthrightly proclaim that The Holy Bible is the True and Authorized source from which one can know the Mind of God.

As Sister BIG pointed out, we encourage others to read its words and seek their own answers as to the nature of the universe, faith and mankind. We ask only that the honest seeker consider the whole Bible, boils on Job and all, rather than rocking themselves to sleep while reading Psalm 23 with their thumbs in their mouths.

The person who posted their introduction-- Emo, or whoever -- will be treated with respect here, if he/she behaves respectfully. Any questions posted will be answered straight from God's word.

Calmly Yours,

Handmaiden

p.s. -- Do not even think that you can "rip" Sister BIG. Her trained attack dogs know more about the Bible than you do.

[Emil the Eskimo]

Re: Introduction

Hmmm, I introduce myself and the first two responses I get are from someone who calls GOD a spaghetti monster (I really don't get that) and someone who accuses me of being a drugs addict. As I stated in my post I try to resist the temptetions God tests me with, and so far staying away from drugs and alcohol was the easiest one I don't do drugs. That's because I don't need drugs, having Jesus in my heart is enough to be happy.

Greetings Dutchy,

Are you male or female. Are you married? How many little soldiers for Christ do you have? What church do you go to? What is your favourite pie?

I am sure you will love it here at Landover Baptist Church. After all, it is God's favourite Christian forum and he lead you here for a reason.

Praise Jesus.

Thanks Charli To answer your questions:

I'm a male of 31 years old, married and I have 3 children: Anne, aged 6, Peter, aged 4 and Matt, who just turned 1. The fourth is on the way, my wife is 4 months pregnant now. My children are my proud and I try to raise them with the word of God. My parents didn't raise me that way, they're not Christians, I found Jesus when I was 14 years old and met some friends who did attend to church and told me about it.

At the moment I don't attend to a church. I left the one I went to every week, because they got a new reverend who is gay! I really can't understand why a church would let such a filthy person lead the masses. I'm looking for a church in my neighborhood now which is free from such awfull things and truly spreads the word of God.

As for pie: I don't really care about it. But if I have to choose a certain pie, I'd say apple. Theat's nice every now and then

Boy, have you EVER!!!

Welcome friend, I was unaware of Dutch Eskimos (sounds like a chocolate bar).

Oh, and don't listen to that raving lunatic Jo Freddy. He worships a bowl of pasta. Yeah

Stick around and share the love of Jesus Christ!!

Thanks for your kind words, but I'm really not an Eskimo! I'm not accusing anyone of changing my name without a reason, or just to annoy me. Maybe some administrator thought my IP-adress was from Greenland or something (isn't that where Eskimo's live? I'm not sure). However, I would like to have it changed back to Emus, because that is my name. If it's policy to add somethning for non-Americans, call me Emus the Dutchy or Emus the European, I don't really care. As long it's legit information

On a final note: I don't own a KJV Bible at the moment, but I found an online version and using that for refference wehnever I'm in doubt about anything

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Introduction

Aw this is cute; you wanna get ripped too. Alrighty then.
Like I said before, this is a bogus screen name, I have nothing to do with them nor do I agree with them. And back to the Homer subject, HE DIDN'T FOLLOW CHRIST BECAUSE HE WASN'T THERE YET. Oh and look, I can throw some smilies in here too for ya. There ya go =D

Then why in your introduction did you tell us to join the Illuminati? I think that perhaps you're a troll that forgot the role he wanted to play on this board? Could it be that?

As for Homer, he could of followed the Jewish law that was given by God. I'm not sure it would of helped, but it would of been better than being some pagan worshiping homosexual.

[Illuminati_Rep]

Re: Introduction

Mr. Illuminutty;

LBC is not a cult. We forthrightly proclaim that The Holy Bible is the True and Authorized source from which one can know the Mind of God.

As Sister BIG pointed out, we encourage others to read its words and seek their own answers as to the nature of the universe, faith and mankind. We ask only that the honest seeker consider the whole Bible, boils on Job and all, rather than rocking themselves to sleep while reading Psalm 23 with their thumbs in their mouths.

The person who posted their introduction-- Emo, or whoever -- will be treated with respect here, if he/she behaves respectfully. Any questions posted will be answered straight from God's word.

Calmly Yours,

Handmaiden

p.s. -- Do not even think that you can "rip" Sister BIG. Her trained attack dogs know more about the Bible than you do.

Denial is such a terrible thing. You're a cult, get over it. Too bad Elus is still here buying this crap. Oh yeah, and I didn't mean rip as in actually commit murder. That might be okay in your occult society, but not here in the normal one. As for the "training attack dogs," I highly doubt they have been actually trained to attack, they're probably just a bunch of ankle bitters. But it's right that she has them, because cult people like Nobar King or whatever might come and rape her with his "prayer stick." Landover is completely bogus and funny, but big, bad, and scary Levi has put a 10min limit on me because he is probably terrified that I'm purifying his brainwashed victims into running away from this cult. Without his brainwashed followers, he can't pay for that Vegas trip he's taking. Now you're thinking, "My lord! How did he know that?!?! He knows too much! Ban him forever!!" Shortly after I won't be here anymore. How DARE I tell the truth. I hope someone with some sense comes and tries to save your poor lost, confused, brainwashed souls.


Now that, was a proper ripping.

[John Creeser]

Re: Introduction

Wow guy. Homer was not a satanic poet. He came BEFORE the birth of Christ and BEFORE the religion of Christianity. Therefore he could not have been a satanist because they believed in the Greek Gods. Try again if you want.

So you are siding with homers and satan. Nice.

Look it doesn't matter, your point is moot. The fact is he worshiped false gods, not God.

There is no argument here, it's black and white.


"How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame ? How long will you love delusions and seek false gods?" Psalm 4:2

[Summer]

Re: Introduction

My name is Summer.

My cousin recently married someone from outside of the family. My best friend is named Jesus.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Introduction

As for the "training attack dogs," I highly doubt they have been actually trained to attack, they're probably just a bunch of ankle bitters.

They're AKC/USRC registered Rottweilers.

" Landover is completely bogus and funny, but big, bad, and scary Levi has put a 10min limit on me because he is probably terrified that I'm purifying his brainwashed victims into running away from this cult.

Whose leaving? I'm not. You're just coming across as the idiot troll you really are. Maybe you should take those 10 minute spaces to read the Bible and find out what it really says. Or you know, go outside and get a life of your own rather than trolling Christian boards for the lulz.

Without his brainwashed followers, he can't pay for that Vegas trip he's taking. Now you're thinking, "My lord! How did he know that?!?! He knows too much! Ban him forever!!"

Did he go to Vegas? I know he was going to go with Brother Dewitt for a bachelors trip (in Brother Dewitts jet, on Brother Dewitts dime, not the LBC jet). Gee, how would you know that, could it be because he TOLD EVERYONE ON THE BOARD? Wow, uz so smrt!

Shortly after I won't be here anymore.

Promise? Please Promise!

How DARE I tell the truth. I hope someone with some sense comes and tries to save your poor lost, confused, brainwashed souls.

Do you know why I became a member at Landover? Because these are the first Christians I met who could answer my Biblical questions. Since the age of 10 I have been asking questions about the Bible and was constantly being told that "oh that doesn't apply anymore" or "it doesn't really mean that, it means something completely different". Do you know I actually had one Pastor get so upset at me that he told me that reading the whole Bible was a sin? Yep, I was only supposed to read the parts he told me to. Now which one is the cult? The one that tells you to read the Bible on your own and really read what it says, or the millions of liebral churches out there who tell you that the Bible really doesn't count anymore and you should just shut up and listen to your pastor.

Perhaps you should go look at cult watch or something and find out what a real cult is.

Now that, was a proper ripping.

That's what you call a ripping? Oh, okay then

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Introduction

My name is Summer.

My cousin recently married someone from outside of the family. My best friend is named Jesus.

Yeah, you already told us that, now go make a proper introduction for yourself rather than trolling the board with your incestuous fantasies.

[Illuminati_Rep]

Re: Introduction

Do you know why I became a member at Landover? Because these are the first Christians I met who could answer my Biblical questions. Since the age of 10 I have been asking questions about the Bible and was constantly being told that "oh that doesn't apply anymore" or "it doesn't really mean that, it means something completely different". Do you know I actually had one Pastor get so upset at me that he told me that reading the whole Bible was a sin? Yep, I was only supposed to read the parts he told me to. Now which one is the cult? The one that tells you to read the Bible on your own and really read what it says, or the millions of liebral churches out there who tell you that the Bible really doesn't count anymore and you should just shut up and listen to your pastor.

I sure did say yall grew up weak minded. Case closed.

[Summer]

Re: Introduction

Yeah, you already told us that, now go make a proper introduction for yourself rather than trolling the board with your incestuous fantasies.

Family is the brethren of race and nation. That is what my pastor told me.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Introduction

I sure did say yall grew up weak minded. Case closed.

In other words, you have no retort.
I'm sure Sister BIG accepts your surrender.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Introduction

Family is the brethren of race and nation. That is what my pastor told me.

That's not what Jesus says.


Luke 8:20-21 And it was told him by certain which said, Thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to see thee. And he answered and said unto them, My mother and my brethren are these which hear the word of God, and do it.