Umm... Hello!?

[Mary Esther Durante]

Hi there.
I don't know how to start this, so I'll just start typing.
I'm a woman.
I have dark brown hair and eyes.
I tend to dress more comfortably than fashionable because there's not a whole lotta people to impress around here.
I'm not in school yet, but I will once the financial aide paperwork actually goes through (seriously, who do they have working there? I've already submitted the forms 3 times and they keep "losing" them.)
Once I do (finally) get in school, I'll be working on becoming a registered nurse.
I've read the Bible before (when I was a little girl), but I've just recently started re-reading it, so my knowledge isn't quite the best.
My favorite Bible verse would have to be:

[Matthew 15:14
Let them alone: they be blinde leaders of the blinde. And if the blinde lead the blinde, both shall fall into the ditch.]

I used to attend a Catholic Church (I even thought about becoming a nun, but I decided against it cause I like sex too much), though I stopped going because the former priest died and the new priest in charge is such a dork who thinks he's better than everyone.
I haven't found an "independant" baptist church within my town, though there is a very nice apostalic church that's invited me to their services on Sundays (if I ever get a Sunday off!)

Let's see, what else can I talk about?
....
Oh, my favorite color(s): pink, purple, red, black, army green...
Uh, my favorite music: anything that doesn't get too mainstream (I think that Justin Bieber guy sucks)

Okay, I'm tired of typing now!
Later!!!!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

I used to attend a Catholic Church (I even thought about becoming a nun, but I decided against it cause I like sex too much),

You're too much of a pervert for the Catholics? Am I understanding this correctly?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

Mary, has your father filed the permission slip with the LBC office? I just got off the phone with Miss Cookie and she has no record of it.

[Mary Esther Durante]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

You're too much of a pervert for the Catholics? Am I understanding this correctly?

Well, I prefer sex over spending the rest of my life abstaining from pleasure.
Why are you sound so shocked by that?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

Well, I prefer sex over spending the rest of my life abstaining from pleasure.
Why are you sound so shocked by that?

Well Mary, God is very specific about s-e-x. It should only be done when you are making male children for Jesus. Pleasures of the flesh are wrong and God will come down upon you with great vengence. Do you not realize that maybe that is why your school papers were 'lost'?

I am very disappointed a young girl like you is a whore. Shame on you

[Mary Esther Durante]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

Mary, has your father filed the permission slip with the LBC office? I just got off the phone with Miss Cookie and she has no record of it.

I don't remember seeing anything mentioning a "permission slip" during my registration.
Either way, my dad died a couple years ago.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

Well, I prefer sex over spending the rest of my life abstaining from pleasure.
Why are you sound so shocked by that?

So are you saying that you are a slut????

[James Hutchins]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

I don't remember seeing anything mentioning a "permission slip" during my registration.
Either way, my dad died a couple years ago.

Well, in absence of a father, a Grandfather or oldest brother, or other male legal guardian. You are not walking the streets all by your self, are you???

[Mary Esther Durante]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

Well Mary, God is very specific about s-e-x. It should only be done when you are making male children for Jesus. Pleasures of the flesh are wrong and God will come down upon you with great vengence. Do you not realize that maybe that is why your school papers were 'lost'?

I am very disappointed a young girl like you is a whore. Shame on you

Whores have sex with many men for money or attention.
I've only had sex with one man and it's because I love him.

[Jedediah]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

Welcome, young miss. It would seem that the LORD has brought you to His favorite forum just in time! He has a plan for you, and my heart is filled with joy that we can be a part of leading you to Him.

Sexual intercourse between a male and a female can be a beautiful thing if it is used for the purpose of creating baby Soldiers for Christ. My wife and I have five sons, and we recently conceived our sixth. We try to have one each year. Have your father and Pastor found a man for you yet? Your ovaries are not going to stay fresh forever, you know. In fact, I would advise you to put this notion of book-learning out of your head, get married, and start having children right away.

Psalm 127:3-5
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

As someone who is looking forward to having many babies for a True Christian(tm) man, I think you will find the information at Quiver Full to be very helpful.

While it is wonderful that you are no longer a member of the Cathlick Church (aka, the Whore of Babylon), it does not sound as though you have made that decision for the right reasons. Please read Pastor Ezekiel's sermon Why Roman Catholic Papists are NOT Christians.

In any case, I look forward to fellowshipping with you, young miss! There is obviously much that you have to learn about God's Word, and I am pleased that we will be a part of guiding you to Salvation(tm).

Praise!

[Jedediah]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

Whores have sex with many men for money or attention.
I've only had sex with one man and it's because I love him.

So you have already been married once? I'm afraid that will limit the number of potential suitors available to you.

[Mary Esther Durante]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

Well, in absence of a father, a Grandfather or oldest brother, or other male legal guardian. You are not walking the streets all by your self, are you???

My grandfather is dead (died before I was born), my twin brother doesn't care what I do on the internet (I'm actually more well-behaved than him), and I'm in my 20s and no longer legally required to have a "guardian".
And, no, I'm not "walking the streets by myself" because I live at least 10 miles from town which would require driving back and forth when I need to go to the store or whatever.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

I'm a woman.
I have dark brown hair and eyes.

Mary, would you be so kind as to describe your physical appearance more? Or preferably, post a picture? I want to pray for you but it really helps if I have a mental image in my mind. Young ladies like yourself are easily led astray into the temptation of Satan and I'm concerned deeply about your welfare.

Please contact me anytime for pastoral advice.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

Whores have sex with many men for money or attention.
I've only had sex with one man and it's because I love him.

So you do not have s-e-x with this one man (obviously out of wedlock as you are a mere adolescent single girl) and have his attention? Is he in a coma?

You know, fornicating and not being married makes you a whore, a filthy slut. Ever time you think about s-e-x it is akin to spitting in the eyes of baby Jesus. How can you go against God like that?

[Mary Esther Durante]

Re: Umm... Hello!?

So you have already been married once? I'm afraid that will limit the number of potential suitors available to you.

Umm... thank you (I think), but, for one thing, I've never been married and, second, I don't need a suitor since I WILL be getting married in October.
But, thank you for the welcome and advice.