Greetings and Praise the Lord

[Minister Lucy Smith]

Hello fellow Christians. My name is Lucy and, yes, I am a legal (and spiritual) Christian minister. I just started my ministry and would love the advice of the True Christian pastors here at Landover. I do read the KJV 1611 (the only REAL version of the Bible) and will tithe once I get my PayPal account set up.

Praise God!
Lucy

[Brother V]

Re: Greetings and Praise the Lord

Hello fellow Christians. My name is Lucy and, yes, I am a legal (and spiritual) Christian minister. I just started my ministry and would love the advice of the True Christian pastors here at Landover. I do read the KJV 1611 (the only REAL version of the Bible) and will tithe once I get my PayPal account set up.

Praise God!
Lucy

Get married. Give birth, otherwise, how can a woman be saved?

1 Timothy 2:15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

YIC
V

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Greetings and Praise the Lord

Hello fellow Christians. My name is Lucy and, yes, I am a legal (and spiritual) Christian minister. I just started my ministry and would love the advice of the True Christian pastors here at Landover. I do read the KJV 1611 (the only REAL version of the Bible) and will tithe once I get my PayPal account set up.

Praise God!
Lucy

You're a woman. How can you be a pastor friend?

[Deaner]

Re: Greetings and Praise the Lord

You're a woman. How can you be a pastor friend?

Aw jeez. I hope it's not another one of those homers with breasts.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Greetings and Praise the Lord

My advice is that you stop merely reading the KJV and start actually following it — all of it, including the following:

I Timothy 2:11-12: Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings and Praise the Lord

I'm wondering what this "legal pastor" nonsense is all about? Maybe a joo lawyer undercover from the ACLU again?

I wonder if it's seen Pastor Pistle's thread on what it really takes to be a pastor?

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Greetings and Praise the Lord

Hello fellow Christians. My name is Lucy and, yes, I am a legal (and spiritual) Christian minister. I just started my ministry and would love the advice of the True Christian pastors here at Landover. I do read the KJV 1611 (the only REAL version of the Bible) and will tithe once I get my PayPal account set up.

Praise God!
Lucy

As the good brothers already has pointed out:
You're no Pastor, you're not even a Christian. You're but an uppity woman.

And whatever man-given title you throw around.. That don't fly around here.
We care about God, and not the empty works of men. Nobody is a true Pastor nor a minister unless GOD (NOBODY ELSE!) has given it unto them..
And women aren't fit to teach anyone the Word. But you may teach other women the arts of sewing, cooking & cleaning and so forth. (Titus 2:3-5)
And of course, you may also teach lamentation and wailing. (Jeremiah 9:20) Women are really good at whining after all..

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Greetings and Praise the Lord

Hello fellow Christians. My name is Lucy and, yes, I am a legal (and spiritual) Christian minister. I just started my ministry and would love the advice of the True Christian ...

Praise God!
Lucy

Dear 'Minister' Lucy,

I have a story to tell you, and I hope you will read this carefully and heed my warnings ...

I myself was a church 'minister' for awhile, and my name was 'minister noddy' ...

I'm a widow and live with my GODLY son-in-law and my nine-year-old twin grandsons. After the untimely passing away of my dearest husband and our daughter (Mr Godwin's wife) in despair I joined a certain false church in our neighborhood, attracted like a fly to the glitter and the bling-bling of its beautiful services and rituals!

There I became a 'liturgical' minister, wore vestments and helped the priests serve the holy communion bread and wine at the altar during a ceremony they call the 'eucharist' ...

... never realizing that these sissy-feel-good-christians teach a false-doctrine which is against scripture, and is also descended from the mary-worshipping cathy-lick church! (horror of horrors!)

Well, at home my grandsons were in dismay and refused to speak to me, and my son-in-law Mr Godwin, who has always been a Baptist and is a Baptist school teacher, was outraged, and threatened to throw me and my bling-bling out of the house! I almost lost everything, my dear Lucy!

Because you see, what the Bible really says is this ...

1st Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.

1st Corinthians 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

But I came here to the Landover forums, where first I tried to argue the merits of my false-church, and where eventually I did listen to our GODLY Pastors and Brothers on matters of REAL Christianity! Praise the Lord!

I got Saved®, and became Sister Noddy! (of course I dropped that false-church and its vestments and crackers of death and chanting clergy and te deums and incense like a hot potato, and never looked back!)

Now my son-on-law no longer threatens banishment (he only spanks me when I sass him or forget my Bible lessons or burn the pies) and I've become a modest and grateful True Christian™ lady and a full-time homemaker for Mr Godwin and the boys ...

I have been so lucky in JESUS, Lucy! I shall pray for the same Salvation for you!

Sister Noddy