Ummm, Hello

[Butch Dickerson]

My name is Butch.
I am unaccustomed to public speaking.
I was going to tell a joke to lighten up my first post, but I sometimes don't have any sense of humor. I mean, what the Hell is there to laugh about anyways. You know?

Uh, I have been a Baptist all my life cause my Mom is a Baptist, and thus it comes real natural. I was going to 4th Street Baptist Church (with Mom) but there was an incident that maybe I should not go into.

I got kicked out of Moms house {well it was the fricken' basement!} and now I roommate with some wimp named Bruce.

I like working out with weights to buff my bod, and of course I recite scripture between sets (so that I get a good peak to my biceps). I was married , but there was this incident , and maybe I should not go into that either.

My favorite Bible verse is KJV Rev 6:12 (cause I hope to make a honest living someday, and I though this would be a good cover image for a Christian video game that annihilated atheist with laser cannons , or such).

Anyways, uh, glad to meet you.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Ummm, Hello

Hello and welcome. It sounds like you might have been wallowing in certain perversions. I am particularly worried about you living with some guy named Bruce.

James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

[Butch Dickerson]

Re: Ummm, Hello

Pastor, thank you for your Welcome.

No. Um, no current wallowing in perversion as my mind, body, and spirit are in training as a vessel of righteousness awaiting the end-times. {thus tonight’s super-sets on the leg machine.}

I was worried about Bruce too, he is a student at a community college and thinks like an intellectual. Reality is, he is just some frail geek that wishes he had my superior physique and Strength Of Faith.

And, uh, he has a pretty nice place ... I mean it's better than my old room at Moms'. I have my own gym in his basement, he paid for the equipment.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Ummm, Hello

Pastor, thank you for your Welcome.

No. Um, no current wallowing in perversion as my mind, body, and spirit are in training as a vessel of righteousness awaiting the end-times. {thus tonight’s super-sets on the leg machine.}

I was worried about Bruce too, he is a student at a community college and thinks like an intellectual. Reality is, he is just some frail geek that wishes he had my superior physique and Strength Of Faith.

And, uh, he has a pretty nice place ... I mean it's better than my old room at Moms'. I have my own gym in his basement, he paid for the equipment.

Sounds like your roommate needs to get to Pastor Zeke to get a good example of how a proper heterosexual Christian make should behave.

So what brings you to us Butch?

[Butch Dickerson]

Re: Ummm, Hello

Uh, What brings me here?
It's not, like a court order, or anything like that.

I mean, Mom said I had anger management issues. She blamed it on my dietary supplements and injections. But she is fricken' old and what do old people know about proper electrolytes, carbohydrate ingestion, and flax seed oil ... you know what I mean?

Mostly I came here cause I was inspired by a revelation to seek other Baptist , and uh, I saw the introduction of the young girl "Tyreka". She said she was 18 years old and a virgin. Now that is pretty cool to have one of those sitting next to you for hours-and-hours-and-hours in the sweltering heat of a Savior inspired Church! It is a proven fact that virgins give off a different smell than other women when their body temperature rises. I would like to experience that wafting of pheromones at the same time the Holy Spirit was descending into my body. Man, that would be totally AWESOME.
I mean if I was looking to meet a single girl , a Baptist church would be the right place ,you know? I don't think that a young, strong, Christian warrior readying for the Apocalypse should have to sire his offspring in anything that has received prior male seed.

Oh, and about Bruce's behavior. Well, he calls himself a "theater major". I have needed to modify his behavior several times this week! I tell him the whole education system is rampant with jews and fags and "theater" is nothing but prancing dress-up. He receives his punishment well. And his "rich parents" gave him a Visa Gold card (I use the credit card number to buy my Juice on-line).

Got to go for now, I am mowing some lawns today near the Catholic grade school. Those kids need to hear the real truth about their false papist "father" ... I tell them the True KJV Word when their soccer balls wanders into my mowers' realm.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Ummm, Hello

Uh, What brings me here?
It's not, like a court order, or anything like that.

I mean, Mom said I had anger management issues. She blamed it on my dietary supplements and injections. But she is fricken' old and what do old people know about proper electrolytes, carbohydrate ingestion, and flax seed oil ... you know what I mean?

Perhaps, you mean she was a New Age witch and you were the victim of Satanic abuse? You have my sympathy friend.

Mostly I came here cause I was inspired by a revelation to seek other Baptist , and uh, I saw the introduction of the young girl "Tyreka". She said she was 18 years old and a virgin. Now that is pretty cool to have one of those sitting next to you for hours-and-hours-and-hours in the sweltering heat of a Savior inspired Church! It is a proven fact that virgins give off a different smell than other women when their body temperature rises. I would like to experience that wafting of pheromones at the same time the Holy Spirit was descending into my body. Man, that would be totally AWESOME.

Easy there cowboy!

Looks like Christ wants you to get married.

I mean if I was looking to meet a single girl , a Baptist church would be the right place ,you know? I don't think that a young, strong, Christian warrior readying for the Apocalypse should have to sire his offspring in anything that has received prior male seed.

Seem quite reasonable.

Oh, and about Bruce's behavior. Well, he calls himself a "theater major". I have needed to modify his behavior several times this week! I tell him the whole education system is rampant with jews and fags and "theater" is nothing but prancing dress-up. He receives his punishment well. And his "rich parents" gave him a Visa Gold card (I use the credit card number to buy my Juice on-line).

Theater major? Your roommate is gay then. It is FACT that ALL theater majors are gay. Perhaps some tough love is in order friend?

Got to go for now, I am mowing some lawns today near the Catholic grade school. Those kids need to hear the real truth about their false papist "father" ... I tell them the True KJV Word when their soccer balls wanders into my mowers' realm.

Well good luck then friend.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Ummm, Hello

Butch, could you describe how exactly you punish Bruce? And do you do that before or after making him watch you work out in the basement?

Don't leave anything out. The details are important, so we can determine whether your punishment is sufficiently Godly.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Ummm, Hello

I mean if I was looking to meet a single girl , a Baptist church would be the right place ,you know? I don't think that a young, strong, Christian warrior readying for the Apocalypse should have to sire his offspring in anything that has received prior male seed.

Praise! As Deuteronomy 22 tells us:
13 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,
14 And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:
15 Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:
16 And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
17 And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.
18 And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;
19 And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.
20 But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:
21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

[Butch Dickerson]

Re: Ummm, Hello

Brother Temperance: How does a fellow go about finding shekels? Do they come from jews?

Bobby-Joe: I did think that maybe Mom had been under the Satanic influence , cause she was going to get her meds from a paki doctor at the old folks clinic. I snuck into her stash and took 3 times the dosage (cause of my massive body structure). I saw no Satanic demons, and just like Mom, all I wanted to do was watch Wheel Of Fortune.

I would like to marry again. I have been saving my seed so long I feel that it looks like tadpoles.

Rev Rodimer: Thanks for taking an interest in my workout methods. I have suspected gayness in Bruce, and so I am forced to restrain him if he wants to observe my work-out regiment. I take a particular interest in knots. I think the proper use of a Manilla rope applied just right to bind wrist and ankles has been super for my iron-pumping inspiration. I saw a cool movie the other night about some guy in a pawn shop. Anyways there was gimpie guy in a box, and this other guy has a red ball in his mouth. I think Bruce needs a red ball in his mouth when he attends my workout cause of the noises he makes.

Later new friends; lunch break is over and there is a Bull Nun giving me the eye as I tap the schools wi-fi to type this on Bruce's' laptop.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Ummm, Hello

I would like to marry again. I have been saving my seed so long I feel that it looks like tadpoles.

It is good to hear you aren't spilling your seed willy-nilly, like so many men do. Just be cautious of the "juice"; I hear it can cause your "family jewels" to atrophy, so you can no longer produce viable seed!

Thanks for taking an interest in my workout methods. I have suspected gayness in Bruce, and so I am forced to restrain him if he wants to observe my work-out regiment. I take a particular interest in knots. I think the proper use of a Manilla rope applied just right to bind wrist and ankles has been super for my iron-pumping inspiration. I saw a cool movie the other night about some guy in a pawn shop. Anyways there was gimpie guy in a box, and this other guy has a red ball in his mouth. I think Bruce needs a red ball in his mouth when he attends my workout cause of the noises he makes.

It is good that you restrain Bruce. It's the only way you can be sure he won't take advantage of you, as you lay back on the weight bench, legs apart, clad only in loose-fitting gym shorts, focusing all your energy on the heavy steel rod gripped in your sweat-slicked hands.

[landoverlover]

Re: Ummm, Hello

Butch and Bruce with "incidents" and mom issues and steroids and and and.

People with sad stories always have sad stories to tell. I'm thinking you need to come clean with us, friend. As a professor of linguistics, I can assure you that people never, ever write things like uh, um, er, eh, unless they are quoting someone verbatim or writing fiction. Those are spoken sounds exclusively.

Are you pulling our chain here, Butchie?

[Butch Dickerson]

Re: Ummm, Hello

Rev. Rodimer: It is so refreshing to find such a kindred spirit as you, Reverend.
But I guess that is what being a Reverend is all about, touching -feeling - sharing ...
{oh, by the way, the side effects of shrinking the shrubs to maketh tree look bigger has been noticed, but I'm a sure with a supplement of Mexican variety I can reverse the effects.}
Do you have any favorite Christian gladiator movies you could recommend for Friday Night Movies? I am sending Bruce to Blockbuster .

landoverlover ---linguistics, um, isn't that something you do with your tongue?
Coming clean and yanking your chain does sound intriguing , is there a Mens Only section of the Church were we can wrestle, and thus display our prowess as virulent Christian Soldiers? Uh, Biblical Greek Style, oiled-up , maybe share a bag a' Cheetos afterward? I could dress as Sampson, you could be David.

(PM: l-l-lover: I'm not meaning to horn in on this fine herd of Baptist ladies "professor" … looks like more than enough Baptchicks to go around!)

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Ummm, Hello

Bobby-Joe[/B]: I did think that maybe Mom had been under the Satanic influence , cause she was going to get her meds from a paki doctor at the old folks clinic. I snuck into her stash and took 3 times the dosage (cause of my massive body structure). I saw no Satanic demons, and just like Mom, all I wanted to do was watch Wheel Of Fortune.

Oh, ok Indian doctors yes I can see. Mine thinks I need a bypass operation because of a possible aneurysm (some Hindu word for chackura) I told him no, I am as health as a 350lb horse and those other two Security Detail officers were called home by Jesus to stop witches from murdering them.

Good move then looking into what that Hindu doctor was giving mom. Better safe than sorry. You got to be careful these days.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Ummm, Hello

Great photo you've got there, Butch!

Unusual tan lines, though.

[Butch Dickerson]

Re: Ummm, Hello

Great photo you've got there, Butch!
Unusual tan lines, though.

um, Thanks! I get a lot of compliments on my pecs.
I take extra-special care of them because I have hyper-sensitive nipples.

Most men really should take better care of their pecs.
After I give them a smooth, close, circular shave (I do mine in the shower), well ... then I give em' a gently drying with a 100% cotton towel.
I follow that by a long rubdown with a creamy lotion to bring out the highlights (and accentuate their roundness).

I used a small suction device when I was younger to give the nipples a pill-like shape. That worked OK, but it caused my nips to go erect when I coughed.

I've got to use extra protection when I parade my stuff on the beach; take care of my "pups" with SPF 30 and the proper covering , so they don't get sun freckles.