[DerpHurr]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

A quick list from Ministering Deliverance

That's nice, dear, but you see, I don't have any of those problems. Attraction to women isn't unnatural. It's a proven fact that even heterosexuals are attracted to someone of the same sex at least once.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

That's nice, dear, but you see, I don't have any of those problems. Attraction to women isn't unnatural. It's a proven fact that even heterosexuals are attracted to someone of the same sex at least once.

You keep telling yourself those lies.

Romans 1:25-28 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

[Theprinceamongmen]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

If you don't follow every word of the Holy Bible (KJV 1611), then you are not a True Christian™. People who just call themselves "Christian" to impress other people will writhe in agony for all eternity in the lake of fire just the same as atheists, witches, warlocks, buddhists, idolaters, fornicators, the effeminate, extortioners, and muslims.

You follow a false Christ that exists only in your sorely deluded imagination.

Matthew 24:24
For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.

If you do not change your wicked ways, ignoring the instructions God left for us in the Bible, then when you die, your false hippy Christ will reveal his true demon form to you. He will laugh at you for being so foolish in the life God gave to you as to be led astray by false deceivers and their false doctrines. He will grab you by the ankle, spin you around, and hurtle you into a black abyss.

You will fall for what seems like days. Then you will feel it getting hotter, and you will see a small read dot off in the distance. As you fall closer to the red dot, your skin will blister from the heat, and the dot will grow larger. As you get closer and closer, you will see horned beasts flying above what appear to be the shapes of men and women thrashing around in a pool of lava. These are the souls of the damned, and you are on your way to joining them.

Revelation 21:8
But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

Your skin will burn off. You will writhe in agony and gnash your teeth so hard they shatter. Oh, how you will scream and scream and scream. But no one is here to help you. You have already rejected Jesus, and now it is too late. The flying demons will swoop down upon you, lift you out of the molten lava, and tear you to shreds. This is their way of welcoming you to hell. You will instantly regenerate, only to suffer these and other, indescribable torments for eternity.

Isaiah 66:24
And they shall go forth, and look upon the carcases of the men that have transgressed against me: for their worm shall not die, neither shall their fire be quenched; and they shall be an abhorring unto all flesh.

But there is Good News! You still have a chance to avoid this fate if you repent of your wickedness, ask Jesus into your heart, be washed in His Blood, and live by every word contained in the Bible (KJV 1611). We love you as only a True Christian™ could, and we want you to join us in Heaven. Won't you please reconsider the path you are on and walk in the ways of True Christianity™?

...WAIT WAIT WAIT... effeminate? so im going to hell for being pretty? O-0 what a silly thing to do.

[Jedediah]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

God gave us free will. We can choose to go after strange flesh and to commit all manner of homosexual abomination, or we can choose to seek His face and seek help for such perversions. I spent years as a homosexual before Jesus told me that I needed to change my ways if I wanted to join Him in Heaven.

The next day, I was in the back of a van full of Pastors and Deacons on my way to a three-month sexual reorientation program. It may be part of our sin-nature to lust after members of the same sex, but when you get serious about your walk with Christ, you understand that we cannot just do what we want to do and get to Heaven. We have to live our lives in accordance with the Holy Bible (KJV 1611), and this includes becoming cured of the demons that infest our rectums.

Stop making excuses for yourself, and get right with Jesus, missy.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

if he condemns my people to burn for simply following his rules of loving ones self.

Where does God say a person is to love himself? I see you are another member of the church of me. Another special snowflake who thinks he speaks for God.

[Jedediah]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

...WAIT WAIT WAIT... effeminate? so im going to hell for being pretty? O-0 what a silly thing to do.

I Corinthians 6:9-10
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

[Theprinceamongmen]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

Where does God say a person is to love himself? I see you are another member of the church of me. Another special snowflake who thinks he speaks for God.

oh i dont speak for god. nor would i desire to

to be god would be... unbearable.

[DerpHurr]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

Salvation

I don't want to believe in a God who won't let me love.

[lostwordofages]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

I know just what this is called.

cult


1. a particular system of religious worship, esp. with reference to its rites and ceremonies.

2. an instance of great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, esp. as manifested by a body of admirers: the physical fitness cult.

3. the object of such devotion.

4. a group or sect bound together by veneration of the same thing, person, ideal, etc.

5. Sociology . a group having a sacred ideology and a set of rites centering around their sacred symbols.

6. a religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader.

7. the members of such a religion or sect.

[handmaiden]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

Please explain to me what is so damn enticing about the bible anyways.

Why should I? You've demonstrated no evidence of being interested in its actual words.

You blundered or barged onto this site and started proclaiming your interest in having sex with anyone regardless of thier actual sex organs.

You've got your own ideas about God and you don't even realize how much your ideas are informed by your culture's long-standing acceptance of the Bible as God's own text.

If you want to understand the Bible's appeal, you will have to read it for yourself.

I personally, doubt very much that you are up to the challenge. Putting aside its copious content on issues of homesexuality, it is an admittedly densely worded text. And by "text", I mean an ordered compliation of the written word devoted to a cental theme, not a text message.

That's a big part of the problem of your entire semi-literate text message generation. You will punch in buttons on a phone that reads "wassup?" to a friend who will respond with, "ok, u 2?" and you will applaud yourselves on being current and cool or whatever and you will have expressed nothing. You will have created nothing. You will have thought nothing, but you will make certain to broadcast your "thoughts" and "expressions" to a large audience via technology designed by someone else, manufactured for pennies by someone else, and purchased with hundreds of dollars by someone else (your parents) who bothered to learn to read and write in full sentences in order to get a job and earn money to buy you the latest device to foster your deluded sense of esteem and semi-literate attempts to communicate vapid content.

Basically, what I am saying is that you are not intelligent enough to have a worthwhile opinion on the Bible.

(Was that sentence short and simple enough for you to follow? Because I realize that I laid it on kind of thick in the preceding paragraph. Meta-content, I think it's called.)


Complexly Yours,

Handmaiden

[villainy]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

2 Corinthians 11:13-15 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.

youre quoting the bible in response to my denouncing the bible's holy significance?

[Levi Jones]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

I don't want to believe in a God who won't let me love.

The main thing He demands is your love for Him. It's not about what you want, snowflake.

From the ten commandments:
Exodus 20:5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

What Jesus said was most important.

Matthew 22:37-38 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.

[Theprinceamongmen]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

I Corinthians 6:9-10
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

that answers none of my questions. youre a terrible teacher.

[DerpHurr]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

Why should I? You've demonstrated no evidence of being interested in its actual words.

You blundered or barged onto this site and started proclaiming your interest in having sex with anyone regardless of thier actual sex organs.

You've got your own ideas about God and you don't even realize how much your ideas are informed by your culture's long-standing acceptance of the Bible as God's own text.

If you want to understand the Bible's appeal, you will have to read it for yourself.

I personally, doubt very much that you are up to the challenge. Putting aside its copious content on issues of homesexuality, it is an admittedly densely worded text. And by "text", I mean an ordered compliation of the written word devoted to a cental theme, not a text message.

That's a big part of the problem of your entire semi-literate text message generation. You will punch in buttons on a phone that reads "wassup?" to a friend who will respond with, "ok, u 2?" and you will applaud yourselves on being current and cool or whatever and you will have expressed nothing. You will have created nothing. You will have thought nothing, but you will make certain to broadcast your "thoughts" and "expressions" to a large audience via technology designed by someone else, manufactured for pennies by someone else, and purchased with hundreds of dollars by someone else (your parents) who bothered to learn to read and write in full sentences in order to get a job and earn money to buy you the latest device to foster your deluded sense of esteem and semi-literate attempts to communicate vapid content.

Basically, what I am saying is that you are not intelligent enough to have a worthwhile opinion on the Bible.

(Was that sentence short and simple enough for you to follow? Because I realize that I laid it on kind of thick in the preceding paragraph. Meta-content, I think it's called.)


Complexly Yours,

Handmaiden

Ah, so you are calling me unintelligent. When people like you are insisting on believing in a fairy tale. This is like me deciding to worship the Grimm brothers, and calling myself Cinderella.

I have read the bible.

Some stories were interesting, but others were outdated ^^

And, funny that you mention text messaging. I rarely text, actually, it's rather judgmental to assume all people of this age group are so superficial. It's sort of like saying every Asian person looks the same, or that all African Americans are dangerous.

Also, I'm not interested in sex with anyone. Sex is sacred, in my opinion, it's like being in love with someone, you don't throw it around willy-nilly.

Would it surprise you to know that I don't actually go around screwing people mindlessly?

I don't go around having sex at all, actually, it's pointless.

[Theprinceamongmen]

Re: Hello, I am a derp :B

if you want people to learn you should be willing to teach. if you want me and others to.. learn the way of god or whatever ti is you want us to learn, teach and lead by example. show me what to do if you want me to do so.

obviously ive done something wrong if i havent learned correctly so show me what im doing wrong.