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  • The Bible Massif
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Dec 2010
    • 3

    #1

    Hello everyone

    Hello as a Christian I have become disillusioned with life in the UK, asians, gays, jews, heretics all running amok like filthy beasts. I thought there was no hope for the world. But then I stumbled upon this site and I thought 'these guys have the right idea!' So I guess what I'm trying to say is I am very pleased to now be a member and hello!
  • Cranky Old Man
    Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
    You kids get off his lawn!
     
    • Jan 2010
    • 22373

    #2
    Re: Hello everyone

    Welcome to our friendly family forum!

    How many sons do you have?
    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

    Comment

    • Levi Jones
      Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
      Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
      Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
       
      • Jul 2009
      • 13930

      #3
      Re: Hello everyone

      Praise Him and welcome. Please tell us more about yourself. What church do you attend? How many sons has your wife borne you? What are some of your favorite passages from God's Holy Word?
      Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78556

        #4
        Re: Hello everyone

        Are you claiming to be a dog?
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • The Bible Massif
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
          • Dec 2010
          • 3

          #5
          Re: Hello everyone

          My wife has borne me 15 sons to date, which I think is respectable . However she brought great shame upon my house when she gave birth to a girl. My wife was punished of course and she had no meals for a week. The baby, I am pleased to say was sent to live at an orphanage.

          As for being a dog, I find that quite insulting.

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78556

            #6
            Re: Hello everyone

            Originally posted by The Bible Massif View Post
            My wife has borne me 15 sons to date, which I think is respectable . However she brought great shame upon my house when she gave birth to a girl. My wife was punished of course and she had no meals for a week. The baby, I am pleased to say was sent to live at an orphanage.

            As for being a dog, I find that quite insulting.
            Dear Doggy;

            If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

            If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

            You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

            Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • Cranky Old Man
              Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
              You kids get off his lawn!
               
              • Jan 2010
              • 22373

              #7
              Re: Hello everyone

              Originally posted by The Bible Massif View Post
              My wife has borne me 15 sons to date, which I think is respectable . However she brought great shame upon my house when she gave birth to a girl. My wife was punished of course and she had no meals for a week. The baby, I am pleased to say was sent to live at an orphanage.
              Unfortunately one also needs to have some girls. They are essentially worthless but our sons need wives to make grandsons so people need to get girls as well. It's just something we have to endure. This might be helpful: Cranky Old Man's Easy Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!
              5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
              To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
              James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

              Comment

              • The Bible Massif
                Confirmed Enemy of God
                BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                • Dec 2010
                • 3

                #8
                Re: Hello everyone

                Apologies Pastor Ezekiel I realize I should have shown more respect to a superior.
                Brother Cranky Old Man, women are essential, of course, for our survival but they serve merely as vessels and incubators for growing baby boys. Other than that and housework they are, indeed, essentially worthless.

                Comment

                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78556

                  #9
                  Re: Hello everyone

                  Originally posted by The Bible Massif View Post
                  Hello as a Christian I have become disillusioned with life in the UK, asians, gays, jews, heretics all running amok like filthy beasts. I thought there was no hope for the world. But then I stumbled upon this site and I thought 'these guys have the right idea!' So I guess what I'm trying to say is I am very pleased to now be a member and hello!
                  You haven't really told us about yourself. What is your name? How old are you? What church do you attend? Please share some of your favorite verses. We'd like to get to know you.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • Adilene
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Dec 2010
                    • 332

                    #10
                    Re: Hello everyone

                    Originally posted by The Bible Massif View Post
                    Apologies Pastor Ezekiel I realize I should have shown more respect to a superior.
                    Brother Cranky Old Man, women are essential, of course, for our survival but they serve merely as vessels and incubators for growing baby boys. Other than that and housework they are, indeed, essentially worthless.
                    As long as your wife teaches them how to cook, clean, maintain the household, and care for children. She will be an essential member of family life. We need to bring our girls up to take care of the house. She needs to teach her how to make the best pot roast, and pies.

                    “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.” – 1 John 5:2-3

                    Comment

                    • Cindy Lou Jenkins
                      True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2010
                      • 238

                      #11
                      Re: Hello everyone

                      Originally posted by Adilene View Post
                      As long as your wife teaches them how to cook, clean, maintain the household, and care for children. She will be an essential member of family life. We need to bring our girls up to take care of the house. She needs to teach her how to make the best pot roast, and pies.

                      That's true, Adilene. Even though we females are essentially without value (i prefer the term "without value" to "worthless"), if it weren't for females men would have to eat sloppy pie, and use expensive artificial incubators. Sometimes having little value is a good thing.

                      (Billy Bob: I approve this post.)
                      1 Corinthians 11:3
                      But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                      Property of Billy Bob Jenkins

                      Comment

                      • Adilene
                        Forum Member
                        Forum Member
                        • Dec 2010
                        • 332

                        #12
                        Re: Hello everyone

                        Originally posted by Cindy Lou Jenkins View Post
                        That's true, Adilene. Even though we females are essentially without value (i prefer the term "without value" to "worthless"), if it weren't for females men would have to eat sloppy pie, and use expensive artificial incubators. Sometimes having little value is a good thing.

                        (Billy Bob: I approve this post.)
                        Not even with my husband! He be eating cup o noodles every night. He leaves the cooking to me! Maybe he would have store bought pie. Nothing compares to homemade.
                        “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.” – 1 John 5:2-3

                        Comment

                        • Adilene
                          Forum Member
                          Forum Member
                          • Dec 2010
                          • 332

                          #13
                          Re: Hello everyone

                          Galatians 6:8



                          7Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.


                          “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.” – 1 John 5:2-3

                          Comment

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