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  • Joshua The Converted
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    • Jan 2011
    • 46

    #1

    Hello

    Hi everyone. I'm from England, and I live in a small rural area where there aren't any churches. It doesn't stop me attending a make shift church though. My friend's parents hold a church in their house, and a lot of the village attend. My favorite Bible verse is Exodus 15:2 “The LORD is my strength and my defense ; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him." I came to find Jesus after realizing my life was hardly complete, and I thought Christianity was the way forward. Since I became a Christian, I stopped masturbating and confessed my sinful ways to God, and I hope he has forgiven me. I'm Joshua, and I'd like to meet you all.
  • Janine Walker
    True Christian™
    • Dec 2010
    • 420

    #2
    Re: Hello

    Originally posted by Joshua The Converted View Post
    Hi everyone. I'm from England, and I live in a small rural area where there aren't any churches. It doesn't stop me attending a make shift church though. My friend's parents hold a church in their house, and a lot of the village attend. My favorite Bible verse is Exodus 15:2 “The LORD is my strength and my defense ; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him." I came to find Jesus after realizing my life was hardly complete, and I thought Christianity was the way forward. Since I became a Christian, I stopped masturbating and confessed my sinful ways to God, and I hope he has forgiven me. I'm Joshua, and I'd like to meet you all.
    You might want to start using a King James Bible..

    Welcome and can we see a picture of your teeth?

    Janine Walker

    Comment

    • Gabriel Reproba
      Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
      The Most Honest Lawyer in America
      True Christian™
      • Nov 2009
      • 2479

      #3
      Re: Hello

      Originally posted by Joshua The Converted View Post
      Hi everyone. I'm from England, and I live in a small rural area where there aren't any churches. It doesn't stop me attending a make shift church though. My friend's parents hold a church in their house, and a lot of the village attend. My favorite Bible verse is Exodus 15:2 “The LORD is my strength and my defense ; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him." I came to find Jesus after realizing my life was hardly complete, and I thought Christianity was the way forward. Since I became a Christian, I stopped masturbating and confessed my sinful ways to God, and I hope he has forgiven me. I'm Joshua, and I'd like to meet you all.

      Welcome. One note: We ask that everyone use the only true Bible, the King James. Your scripture should read:

      "The LORD is my strength and song, and he is become my salvation: he is my God, and I will prepare him an habitation; my father's God, and I will exalt him."
      Since you did not know this, I feel compelled to warn you that you may be attending a false church.

      What is your wife's name and how many sons has sone birthed for you?
      Yours In Christ,

      Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

      Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

      Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
      Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
      The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
      Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
      How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
      20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
      God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
      Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
      Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
      Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
      There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
      Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

      Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

      Comment

      • Joshua The Converted
        Confirmed Enemy of God
        • Jan 2011
        • 46

        #4
        Re: Hello

        Originally posted by Janine Walker View Post
        You might want to start using a King James Bible..

        Welcome and can we see a picture of your teeth?

        Janine Walker
        I will see if I can pick one up, we have to make do out here. And a picture of my teeth? I've never heard that one before, what's the reasoning behind it?

        Comment

        • Joshua The Converted
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          • Jan 2011
          • 46

          #5
          Re: Hello

          I'm not married, and have no children. I'm only 16.

          Comment

          • Janine Walker
            True Christian™
            • Dec 2010
            • 420

            #6
            Re: Hello

            Originally posted by Joshua The Converted View Post
            I will see if I can pick one up, we have to make do out here. And a picture of my teeth? I've never heard that one before, what's the reasoning behind it?
            Just use biblia.com and click on open to see a list of bibles to select from. OR you could give me your address and my dad will happily ship you one. We send KJV's to unsaved trash every other day!

            I'm quite curious about the dental hygiene of people in Britain and I'm sorry if that seems odd to you.

            Janine Walker

            Comment

            • Joshua The Converted
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              • Jan 2011
              • 46

              #7
              Re: Hello

              Our dental hygene is fine, just a steryotype that British have bad teeth. I can assure you, my teeth are fine.

              Comment

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