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  • DahTruRelgion
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    • Jan 2011
    • 2
    #1

    HELLO!

    Raptor Jesus is the only true savior. When our lord rises again during The Velocirapture, heretics (which include [but not limited too] Jews, Christians, Muslims and atheists) and worshipers of TyrannoSatan (which include promoters of buttsecks and furrys) shall be cast underfoot and disemboweled by his holy talons

    All hail Raptor Jesus, Mathew 15:13 "he went extinct to save our souls."

    Love Raptor Jesus or die.
    Raptor Jesus is the savior of all mankind, and will deliver thee to carnivorous enlightenment. (Many have enormous hemipenes)
    Believe in the Lord Raptor Jesus, or have your genitals removed
    Raptor Jesus will rise again!
    Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins!
    Raptor Jesus loves your kids!
    The divine trinity of Raptor Jesus shelters us from the coming Velocirapture!
    Raptor Jesus is my messiyuh!
    Raptor Jesus owns The Hoffinator
    Tags: None
    • Jerakk
      Forum Member
      Forum Member
      • Dec 2009
      • 178
      #2
      Re: HELLO!

      Well looks like someone refused to take his medication today. Who let this guy out of the mental institution?
      Only 2 in all of history have died for freedom all over the world... Jesus Christ and the American soldier.

        Comment

        • Brother Temperance
          Senior Usher
          True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
          A very nice young man
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 15621
          #3
          Re: HELLO!

          I just had cause to post about this in a different thread, but since I still have the tab open in my browser, I'll go over it again. There is no evidence to support your ludicrous dinosaurs = Jesus theory. Instead, you need to understand the truth about dinosaurs:
          God created them 6000 years ago, as peaceful vegetarians.

          Then they became vicious and started killing each other as a result of Adam's sin in the Garden of Eden:

          In the flood, all but two of each dinosaur species was killed off, and the survivors were unable to adapt to the changed conditions of life, so they died out, approx 4500 years ago:


          See? Nothing about a "raptor Jesus" in there anywhere.
          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

            Comment

            • DahTruRelgion
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              • Jan 2011
              • 2
              #4
              Re: HELLO!

              Umm Your sauces are oviosly rong just like you (liberalism and black/woman/lesbian POWAH




              ps... this is you --------->

                Comment

                • Ezekiel Bathfire
                  Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                  Christ's Rottweiler
                   
                  • Jan 2008
                  • 22895
                  #5
                  Re: HELLO!

                  Our sauces are prepared by our wives, they are delicious. Why are you a lezbean?
                  sigpic


                  “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                  Author of such illuminating essays as,
                  Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                    Comment

                    • Rev. M. Rodimer
                      Honorary True Christian™
                      Forum Member
                      • May 2008
                      • 13996
                      #6
                      Re: HELLO!

                      Originally posted by DahTruRelgion View Post
                      Raptor Jesus owns The Hoffinator
                      I thought Arianna Huffington owned that.

                      Are you saying Arianna Huffington is Raptor Jesus?
                      Bible boring? Nonsense!
                      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                        Comment

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