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  • Captain_Asshat
    Unsaved trash
    • Sep 2008
    • 97

    #1

    What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

    I used to believe those righteous dudes 'Stryper' were God's favorite Heavy Metal band... look at them there looking all Godly an stuff...

    THOSE RIGHTEOUS DUDES 'STRYPER' - POWERED BY GOD'S STRIPES OR SOMETHING?? Isaiah 53 5 EVEN SAYS SO!



    But now it seems that Godly 'Creed' could be even more righteous, after they saved a 13 year old boy from certain death at the jaws of some Satanic Wolves!

    ARE 'CREED' GOD'S FAVORITE HEAVY METAL BAND?



    a
    13-year-old boy was walking home from the school bus stop in the town of Rakkestdad this week when he noticed something on the hillside near his family’s farmhouse. At first he thought they were dogs, but he soon realized they were wolves! The boy, remembering that his mother had told him never to run from wolves, pulled the headphones out of his mobile phone and cranked up the volume on the tiny speakers.

    He was listening to “Overcome” by Creed, an arguably Christian rock band!

    “They just turned around and simply trotted away,” he told the TV station, according to Der Spiegel. “The worst thing you can do is run away because doing so just invites the wolves to chase you down ... but I was so afraid that I couldn't even run away if I'd wanted to.”
    To be fair, Walter was yelling at the top of his lungs and wildly flailing his arms, so it’s tough to say exactly what made the wolves decide the boy might not be delicious.”


    Praise Jesus! Godly Creed save the day once more! Yet more proof that the power of God is in their music! Glory!


    Pastor Charles Chuckler
    “Putting the FAT back into FiATh”

    Pastor Charles Chuckler is the Founder of ‘Moshing For Jesus Ministries’
    “Head-banging Towards Heaven”
  • Captain_Asshat
    Unsaved trash
    • Sep 2008
    • 97

    #2
    Re: What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

    THEN AGAIN, POSSIBLY 'NICKELBACK' MIGHT BE CONTENDERS?

    Nickelback are my Pastor's fave metal band, and you can't get a better endorsement than that. He even told me he thought Chad Kroeger looked a little bit like Jesus, so there's no doubt he plays righteous Godly metal music. See what you think..

    Chad Kroeger looking righteous an Godly...



    That righteous dude Jesus Christ - note the hair - no doubt Kroeger styles his hair in the same way as our Lord and Personal Saviour! Glory!

    Comment

    • JustGotSaved
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Aug 2009
      • 519

      #3
      Re: What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

      Seems odd with Jesus wearing a cross. Also the painting kinda looks like one of those asian-Indian hindoo paitings.

      If i ever get married and have a women child i wouldnt want her to go out with that heavy mettle singer. He's trying to look all badasz and tough, yet sing aobut he wonderful joy that is Jesus so all the christian girls drop their pantys for him.

      Looks kinda obvious to me. And i know about looks.
      Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJV

      Comment

      • Captain_Asshat
        Unsaved trash
        • Sep 2008
        • 97

        #4
        Re: What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

        Originally posted by JustGotSaved View Post
        Seems odd with Jesus wearing a cross. Also the painting kinda looks like one of those asian-Indian hindoo paitings.
        JGS, the cross in the painting is a metaphor. It's not meant to be taken literally, just like the Bible. My Pastor says that around 98% of the Bible is made up of metaphors, and most of it you can't take literally. Like, ok, so we ARE meant to take the bits about Jesus feeding 500 people with a loaf and a fish as literal, but those bits where God created the World and space aliens in 48 days, and all that stuff about the talking snake and the virgin birth isn't really meant to be taken literally.

        Comment

        • Bobby-Joe
          Landover Security Superviser
          Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
          NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 18405

          #5
          Re: What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

          Originally posted by Captain_Asshat View Post
          JGS, the cross in the painting is a metaphor. It's not meant to be taken literally, just like the Bible. My Pastor says that around 98% of the Bible is made up of metaphors, and most of it you can't take literally. Like, ok, so we ARE meant to take the bits about Jesus feeding 500 people with a loaf and a fish as literal, but those bits where God created the World and space aliens in 48 days, and all that stuff about the talking snake and the virgin birth isn't really meant to be taken literally.
          Your pastor is a secret Atheists who is trying to get you do damn yourself self because your pastor wants to have gay six with you.

          Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

          Hot Must ReadThreads!


          Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

          Comment

          • Brother Harold Porter
            Landover Senior Outreach
            Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
            True Christian™
            • Jun 2010
            • 8236

            #6
            Re: What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

            Originally posted by Captain_Asshat View Post
            But now it seems that Godly 'Creed' could be even more righteous, after they saved a 13 year old boy from certain death at the jaws of some Satanic Wolves!

            ARE 'CREED' GOD'S FAVORITE HEAVY METAL BAND?
            Simple coincidence. Just take a look at an album cover. Do you think God finds favor with demonic idolatry like this?

            Click image for larger version

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            No. But Salvation awaits those that will praise Him in modesty and sincerity.

            Click image for larger version

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            God despises heavy metal and particularly The Creeds.
            Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

            sigpic

            Comment

            • CultusBulimia
              Unsaved trash, hateful pervert
              • Feb 2011
              • 77

              #7
              Re: What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

              Originally posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
              God despises heavy metal and particularly The Creeds.
              I think is favorite heavy metal band is Slayer.

              Isa14:21-Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their fathers; that they do not rise, nor possess the land, nor fill the face of the world with cities.
              Dueteronomy24:16-The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin.

              Comment

              • WinnerNotSinner
                Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
                True Christian™
                • Jun 2010
                • 951

                #8
                Re: What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

                Originally posted by CultusBelena View Post
                I think is favorite heavy metal band is Slayer.
                This isn't a heavy metal appreciation forum, it is a Christian one. We do not care about what demonic head banging cult you are a part of, so either get right with Jesus or GET OUT.
                6
                A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
                "But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

                Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
                If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

                GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.

                Comment

                • CultusBulimia
                  Unsaved trash, hateful pervert
                  • Feb 2011
                  • 77

                  #9
                  Re: What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

                  Originally posted by WinnerNotSinner View Post
                  This isn't a heavy metal appreciation forum, it is a Christian one. We do not care about what demonic head banging cult you are a part of, so either get right with Jesus or GET OUT.
                  I was just talking with Jesus, he says hes cool with the whole head banging thing man.
                  Isa14:21-Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their fathers; that they do not rise, nor possess the land, nor fill the face of the world with cities.
                  Dueteronomy24:16-The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin.

                  Comment

                  • Captain_Asshat
                    Unsaved trash
                    • Sep 2008
                    • 97

                    #10
                    Re: What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

                    Dude, Slayer aren't Christian, they're Buddhist. Get your facts right!

                    Now, here's who could be up for GOD'S FAVORITE HEAVY METAL BAND -

                    THAT RIGHTEOUS DUDE TED NUGENT!



                    Ted Nugent Quotes -

                    "Of course I'm a Christian, and I believe God wants good guys to survive an encounter with evil"

                    "George W. is my American Blood Brother."

                    "anyone who thinks hunting is terrible can kiss my ass."

                    "I’m stymied to come up with anything funnier than people who think animals have rights. Just stick an arrow through their lungs."

                    "Deer aren't capable of that kind of
                    thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next,
                    who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away.
                    They are very much like the French."
                    Praise Jesus!

                    Comment

                    • CultusBulimia
                      Unsaved trash, hateful pervert
                      • Feb 2011
                      • 77

                      #11
                      Re: What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

                      Nah, No one likes that republican right wing stuff.


                      Dave Mustaine is a true Christian man.
                      Isa14:21-Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their fathers; that they do not rise, nor possess the land, nor fill the face of the world with cities.
                      Dueteronomy24:16-The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin.

                      Comment

                      • Waffenator
                        Unsaved trash
                        • Feb 2011
                        • 19

                        #12
                        Re: What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

                        Originally posted by Captain_Asshat View Post
                        Dude, Slayer aren't Christian, they're Buddhist. Get your facts right!

                        Now, here's who could be up for GOD'S FAVORITE HEAVY METAL BAND -

                        THAT RIGHTEOUS DUDE TED NUGENT!





                        Praise Jesus!
                        You are dead on! You should be Promoted to Major Asshat!

                        S!
                        Steve Eberhard
                        Public Information Officer
                        116 Division

                        Comment

                        • Brother Scott
                          True Christian™
                          True Christian™
                          • Oct 2010
                          • 393

                          #13
                          Re: What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

                          Originally posted by Captain_Asshat View Post
                          JGS, the cross in the painting is a metaphor. It's not meant to be taken literally, just like the Bible. My Pastor says that around 98% of the Bible is made up of metaphors, and most of it you can't take literally. Like, ok, so we ARE meant to take the bits about Jesus feeding 500 people with a loaf and a fish as literal, but those bits where God created the World and space aliens in 48 days, and all that stuff about the talking snake and the virgin birth isn't really meant to be taken literally.
                          Strike one heathen!


                          Every word of the King James Bible™ is meant to be taken literally.
                          [Rev 19:20] And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone


                          PALIN/BACHMAN 2016

                          With their husbands permission of course

                          Comment

                          • Brother Scott
                            True Christian™
                            True Christian™
                            • Oct 2010
                            • 393

                            #14
                            Re: What's God's favorite Heavy Metal band??

                            And I have already covered this "band" Slayer in another thread. I will not be doing so again here.


                            They are satanic trash.
                            [Rev 19:20] And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone


                            PALIN/BACHMAN 2016

                            With their husbands permission of course

                            Comment

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