Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

[Rev.shields]

I am a good christian reverend of a small church in Australia(is there any other kind?) and i would like to say that i have finaly found a forum that shares my views. i have gone on a missionary to a once backwards tribe in uganda and saved them from commiting any further sins, i have cured four people of dirty homosexuality and helped them with there masturbation problems(unfortunatly, i was too late as they had all done the deed) and converted many to the one true faith. however i was unsuccesfull in turning ANYONE to creationism and that the bible is literaly true in a lot more places than given credit and i am happy i have found some like minded people.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

I am a good christian reverend of a small church in Australia(is there any other kind?) and i would like to say that i have finaly found a forum that shares my views. i have gone on a missionary to a once backwards tribe in uganda and saved them from commiting any further sins, i have cured four people of dirty homosexuality and helped them with there masturbation problems(unfortunatly, i was too late as they had all done the deed) and converted many to the one true faith. however i was unsuccesfull in turning ANYONE to creationism and that the bible is literaly true in a lot more places than given credit and i am happy i have found some like minded people.

Welcome. Just a couple of points.

1) Tell us more about yourself.
2) Use spell check.
3) Capitalize where appropriate.
4) Hyphenate where necessary.
5) See 2)
6) Revise points 2) to 5)

[Rev.shields]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

Welcome. Just a couple of points.

1) Tell us more about yourself.
2) Use spell check.
3) Capitalize where appropriate.
4) Hyphenate where necessary.
5) See 2)
6) Revise points 2) to 5)

1: i am a male. i converted to Christianity in school when a friend helped me out and showed me the true path to happiness. from there i was utterly fascinated with the bible and read it over and over again . my favourite part (other than the world being created, because i would'nt be here if that didnt happen )was how Sodom and gomora was destroyed by god for the peoples sins.

other than finding jesus i have a pretty standard life. i am a white male, i read the Koran, Torah and the catholic book of lies and i can safely compare them to Christianity and know that they are wrong (despite some similarity) .

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

Welcome to God's Favorite Forum(tm), friend.

other than finding jesus i have a pretty standard life. i am a white male, i read the Koran, Torah and the catholic book of lies and i can safely compare them to Christianity and know that they are wrong (despite some similarity) .

Some similarity? Explain yourself.

Hopefully you mean that the similarities begin and end that they are both printed on paper.

Also, for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah being your favorite part of the Bible, it's interesting how you can't even get the town's name right.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

1: I am a male. I converted to Christianity in school when a friend helped me out and showed me the true path to happiness. from there I was utterly fascinated with the bible and read it over and over again . my favourite part (other than the world being created, because I would'nt be here if that didn't happen (seriously dreadful Conditional usage there: I suspect you may be a German or Swedish speaker: the correct form should have been HADN'T HAPPENED) )was how Sodom and GOMORRAH WERE destroyed by God for the peoples' sins.

other than finding Jesus i have a pretty standard life. I am a white male, I read the Koran, Torah and the catholic book of lies and I can safely compare them to Christianity and know that they are wrong (despite some similarity) .

Whoah. Stop. Reread my previous post, this is more important than you think. Look at what I mean. The corrections. So far I'd give you only a 2 out of 20 for that piece of prose you've dribbled there. Study this at home and you'll be tested on it again.


Now tell us something about yourself. What is your native first language? It obviously isn't American. Or even Australian for that matter.

Where are you REALLY from?

[Rev.shields]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

Welcome to God's Favorite Forum™, friend.





Some similarity? Explain yourself.

Hopefully you mean that the similarities begin and end that they are both printed on paper.

Also, for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah being your favorite part of the Bible, it's interesting how you can't even get the town's name right.

1- evil keyboard

2: genesis is in the jew bible too, and the jihad book has a few things from the bible muddled around like they used it for toilet paper

[Rev.shields]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

no,born in australia it does not matter. this is a bible forum, not a grammar contest

it is readable and easily comprehensible. take your evil thoughts away.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

no,born in australia it does not matter. this is a bible forum, not a grammar contest

It DOES matter. Good grammar is important. Can you imagine a KJV1611 written in text speak? (Actually, you probably can. Hideous idea all the same)

Also, it is obvious you are not a native speaker of American or its daughter dialects English or Australian. I'm a linguist. I know these things. What language is your first language. There's no reason to hide it. It's not wrong to speak other languages, just better to speak American. All the same, God understands not EVERYBODY can be born in America. I'm not American either. Really, it's all right. Just tell us and it'll all start to feel better friend.

Are you Finnish? Swedish? Seriously, there are worse things to be, many of which are mentioned in the Bible, so don't be ashamed.

it is readable and easily comprehensible.

Actually it's not. It's as soft and gentle on the eyes as barbecue-heated sandpaper is on piles.

Please rectify it.

[Nobar King]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

Brother, it's already admitted it's an Australian, so you can't expect too much in the form of grammar or spelling or even punctuation. Just be glad that it hasn't tried to knife you, yet, or drown you in Foster's.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

Brother, it's already admitted it's an Australian, so you can't expect too much in the form of grammar or spelling or even punctuation. Just be glad that it hasn't tried to knife you, yet, or drown you in Foster's.

True Brother Nobar.
You know me, the linguist, I always like to get to the bottom of things. I feel if we know more then we can help more. Language is the tool God gave us to worship Him.

@ Rev.Shields Without words how would we pray? If you do speak another language that could be a help in spreading God's Word. I speak several fluently and a few others reasonably well. It's all part of the job.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Rev.shields]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™.

Betters? Are we not all equal in the eyes of the Lord? (excluding sinners).


also- why are newcomers unsaved trash ? wouldn't a simple "unsaved" or "newcomer" do?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

Betters? Are we not all equal in the eyes of the Lord? (excluding sinners).


also- why are newcomers unsaved trash ? wouldn't a simple "unsaved" or "newcomer" do?

If you were a Christian, you would know how ridiculous that statement is.

What are you supposed to be a "reverend" of? What's the name of your church? Post the link to your website.

[God's Flaming Sword]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

Betters? Are we not all equal in the eyes of the Lord? (excluding sinners).


also- why are newcomers unsaved trash ? wouldn't a simple "unsaved" or "newcomer" do?

This screams of fluffy bunny christian right here - How can any serious Reverend claim such nonsense?

Methinks this is a teenager playing games Brethern.

[Zachariah Do-Good]

Re: Can i say what a Wonderfull forum i have found?

Betters? Are we not all equal in the eyes of the Lord? (excluding sinners).


also- why are newcomers unsaved trash ? wouldn't a simple "unsaved" or "newcomer" do?

Dont be silly now, I think you should know your place in the kindom of god, your questions are borderline heresy. untill us "unsaved trash" are saved we should be respectfull and obedient.