[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

The apple is generally used by most religions as a metaphorical way to show that Eve was gaining forbidden knowledge.

Since you seem to be an uncommonly soft-headed woman, I will present a graphic illustrating what adherents to "most religions" are going to be doing once they die:



YiC,

Z. Smyth

[Onkel Toms Slapptask]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

I too need relationship advice.

I've been together with my boyfriend for almost 12 years now. I don't want to get married, because his dog is somewhat aggressive and he says that if the dog can't stay with us, he will leave me.

I don't like the dog, and Harald just constantly keeps harassing me by hitting me in the head with heavy objects as soon as I mention my despise for the dog.

Please help me, in the name love.

[Bible Student]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

I too need relationship advice.

I've been together with my boyfriend for almost 12 years now. I don't want to get married, because his dog is somewhat aggressive and he says that if the dog can't stay with us, he will leave me.

I don't like the dog, and Harald just constantly keeps harassing me by hitting me in the head with heavy objects as soon as I mention my despise for the dog.

Please help me, in the name love.

A homersexural with a beastialiest?? That relationship will never work out. It's an abomination. Besides in a more Godly Society both of you would be stoned.

[grislund]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

I too need relationship advice.

I've been together with my boyfriend for almost 12 years now. I don't want to get married, because his dog is somewhat aggressive and he says that if the dog can't stay with us, he will leave me.

I don't like the dog, and Harald just constantly keeps harassing me by hitting me in the head with heavy objects as soon as I mention my despise for the dog.

Please help me, in the name love.

To get this straight, tell us more since your description is very cryptic. How old are both of you and where are you from and also I swear I could smell homosexuality. Is that true?

[Onkel Toms Slapptask]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

To get this straight, tell us more since your description is very cryptic. How old are both of you and where are you from and also I swear I could smell homosexuality. Is that true?

I'll be 54 in May, and my boyfriend is turned 31 in January.

Regarding the homosexuality, I can confirm that is not true. I'm a full grown woman (murloc, to be more specific) and I just don't know what to do.

I've also been trying to talk some sense into my boyfriend since he has been involved with different cults practicing extreme satanism, and I'm really worried.

[grislund]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

I'll be 54 in May, and my boyfriend is turned 31 in January.

Regarding the homosexuality, I can confirm that is not true. I'm a full grown woman (murloc, to be more specific) and I just don't know what to do.

I've also been trying to talk some sense into my boyfriend since he has been involved with different cults practicing extreme satanism, and I'm really worried.

As an faithful muslim I do not see the problem in this as my husband is the main hand and can do whatever he wants to. For instance when he had dealings with Al Qaida I were forced to help him alot with plans, money, etc. Let him keep his dog and stay in the relationsship.

[Onkel Toms Slapptask]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Sounds good. I did just slaughtered my husbund with a rusty spoon and repedeatly shoved fists of bananas into his troath, so I've got about 48 hours before the Jewish Policeforce arrives, so I'll have plenty of time to round up all the former Alpaca-warriors of the Sovjetunion. Did I told you I'm a communist? I figured, since my sex-change in early years, I might as well abandon the USA and go live in my log-cabin up in Sweden.

[Bible Student]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Originally Posted by grislund
To get this straight, tell us more since your description is very cryptic. How old are both of you and where are you from and also I swear I could smell homosexuality. Is that true?

I'll be 54 in May, and my boyfriend is turned 31 in January.

Regarding the homosexuality, I can confirm that is not true. I'm a full grown woman (murloc, to be more specific) and I just don't know what to do.

I've also been trying to talk some sense into my boyfriend since he has been involved with different cults practicing extreme satanism, and I'm really worried.

I think this is your drug induced imagination at work. A 60 year old person should not be playing children's games. I'll bet your boyfriend is just as imaginary. Seek help. Or wait a while. One of our Pastors specializing in exorcism should arrive shortly. Demons are known to cause mental instability.

[grislund]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Sounds good. I did just slaughtered my husbund with a rusty spoon and repedeatly shoved fists of bananas into his troath, so I've got about 48 hours before the Jewish Policeforce arrives, so I'll have plenty of time to round up all the former Alpaca-warriors of the Sovjetunion. Did I told you I'm a communist? I figured, since my sex-change in early years, I might as well abandon the USA and go live in my log-cabin up in Sweden.

My great army of 300 polar bears could come and save you from this bloody mess. Let me call the burning kittens armed with kitchen-knifes to solve this because of AIDS i do no longed keep in touch with the bears. The first thing to do in that situation is to savagely fist yourself in the anus while screaming HEIL HITLER and you will see positive results in seconds. May the great jet-pack be with you and your organs be inhaled by jizz-guzzling monkeys with a fear of Alice Cooper. I love breast and cancer.

[Onkel Toms Slapptask]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Well, I've enjoyed engaging in conversation with you all, but proud of my sexuality and all - and swedish for that matter - your forum seems far to hostile for me, grislund and our farm of intergalactic camels and laser-firing flapjacks. Thank you all, for your time, whilst I must make haste for my porridge is infesting my kitchen.

Sincerely, Onkel Toms Sloppy Dick.

[grislund]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

My beercans with tits could transform into screaming dementors once but too bad they consumed all my burgers and is only available to craft boats now. Usually i do heroine in these moments but my armpit-hair keeps me from touching lemons, you should always be prepared for russians with sneakers and foppa-tofflor as they always assume you for stealing cocaine and smuggling weapons through the boarder. Let me rage-swing my couch around my head and toss it into my neighbours toilet as i prepare for human destruction and deadly vikings sailing towards me. I AM BEOWULF.

[Sarah, aka Florence]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

I'm not retarded. COM only presents evidence to contradict mine, thereby proving that your source is inherently contradictory. Sorry for saying thou, if that upset you.

Eve was not a freakin' whore. Just cause Adam thought she was respectable, or intelligent, or even hot doesn't make her a whore. It just makes her persuasive, IF THAT.

As for the person who's asking for relationship advice on our thread, please make your own. Scottie and I have enough problems as it is without yours getting into it. NO OFFENSE INTENDED, this is merely a request so that our issues won't get mixed up.

Speaking of our issues, not one of you has yet told me what to do about Scottie and his drunken folly. Please?

[Onkel Toms Slapptask]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

How very pleasant it seems to repedeatly harass retarded goats by waving a burning child in front of them.

I will make my way over to Asia with my aids-infested army retired grizzlybears, where we can all engage in a wild session of puke-infested linedancing. I must thou make haste, my young love, for my burning chunk of black love is waiting anxiously, to devouer my arsehole! And.. of course, as interested as I am in massive, organized masturbation sessions with the spirit of sir Adolf Eichmann. I will eat human carpets, and turtle-infested beardy men from finland, which i will feed constantly with high-velocity cows from northern russia.

[Cursed]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Further proof of atheist idiocy.

After all, atheists are atheists because they are stupid. They can't help it.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

A homersexural with a beastialiest?? That relationship will never work out. It's an abomination. Besides in a more Godly Society both of you would be stoned.

I think the dog would be killed too.

LEVITICUS 20:15 And if a man lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death: and ye shall slay the beast.
©1611


@Onkel Toms Slapptask

I'm a full grown woman (murloc, to be more specific)

If you look anything like this

it's no wonder he sets the dog on you.

But there is some confusion - are you married?