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This is my second attempt at living my life followin' Jesus. First time didn't turn out so well. I followed that sumbitch all the way back to Home Depot 'fore I figured out he didn't give me a baggie full of baby powder just on accident.
I have a Ph. D in Spiritualitization from my local FedEx Kinko's, and three fully loaded Hummers, courtesy of my Medicare claims business. I figure it's the Lord's money anyway, and if He didn't want me to have it, he wouldn't have put so many damn Democrats in power, now would he?
My favorite passage from Scripture has gotta be 2 Kings 2:23-24:
"And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them."
As you can most certainly tell from my pictures, the Lord saw fit to bless me in some areas (ladies, you wouldn't know what I'm talkin' about, but all them nice ladies at that Catholic parish down the street sure do). But on top, He left me more bald-faced than one of Obama's birth certificate forgeries. The taunts of them little schoolkids sure do hurt my feelins' sometimes, but it makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside when I think about them gettin' all tored up by Jesus-bears. And not just any Jesus-bears. Lady Jesus-bears. Them's the best kind.
I have a Ph. D in Spiritualitization from my local FedEx Kinko's, and three fully loaded Hummers, courtesy of my Medicare claims business. I figure it's the Lord's money anyway, and if He didn't want me to have it, he wouldn't have put so many damn Democrats in power, now would he?
My favorite passage from Scripture has gotta be 2 Kings 2:23-24:
"And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them."
As you can most certainly tell from my pictures, the Lord saw fit to bless me in some areas (ladies, you wouldn't know what I'm talkin' about, but all them nice ladies at that Catholic parish down the street sure do). But on top, He left me more bald-faced than one of Obama's birth certificate forgeries. The taunts of them little schoolkids sure do hurt my feelins' sometimes, but it makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside when I think about them gettin' all tored up by Jesus-bears. And not just any Jesus-bears. Lady Jesus-bears. Them's the best kind.
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