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  • Adam_Maudite
    Unsaved trash
    • Mar 2011
    • 56
    #1

    Greetings from the depths of Hell on Earth (Canada)

    I'm just a simple Bible-believing carpenter doing his level best (with whatever aid the Lord deigns to provide me) to serve the Lord and offer what truth I can to these Godless, liberal, abortion loving, Truth hating, Rape-crazed canadians. I mostly work renovating what passes for churches in this country, saw a picture of Landover Baptist on google maps {even though it's a tool of liberal satanists, the Apostles used the roman roads) and thought, now that's a building to give GLORY to the LORD.

    Anyway,

    My favourite verses of the Bible, now that's a stumper.
    I love Deuteronomy and Leviticus, because frankly, how else would I know the Path to Salvation, Exodus is a great historical account and as thorough an education as to the Creation of the world as any Christian could ask for. The New Testament is all solid gold Hand fed straight from the Lord Truth with a Capital T guidance on how to live you life and the only account that matters of True Christian Sacrifice and Faith, the sort of love they talk about in the Song of Solomon. I guess I can't really choose, it's all Good with a Capital G.
    Tags: None
    • True Disciple
      True Christian™ Creation Scientist
      Landover Baptist University Associate Professor
      Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
      True Christian™
      • Nov 2009
      • 2445
      #2
      Re: Greetings from the depths of Hell on Earth (Canada)

      Welcome to God's Favorite Forum, friend. I am always pleased to see new believers enter the Flock.

      How many sons do you have? Do you obey the Biblical Commandment of regularly spanking your children? What gun do you use when hunting polar bears?
      Sweet Lord Jesus,
      I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
      Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
      Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
      Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
      Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
      Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
      Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

      Amen.

        Comment

        • Adam_Maudite
          Unsaved trash
          • Mar 2011
          • 56
          #3
          Re: Greetings from the depths of Hell on Earth (Canada)

          No sons or daughters yet, still trying to find a good True Christian woman in this God-less hell hole, but I'll tell you what, I have firm faith in the Lord, and the Lord tells me "spare the rod, spoil the child", so you can bet I'll beat the Love of Jesus into them just as soon as they exist. As for polar bears, if the God-less hippy liberal scum that run this country grant you a license to hunt polar bears, your want something like the American made .600 Overkill, smaller rounds just bound off their skulls, and sure as hell (for Godless atheists like the satanist hippies who regulate hunting in this country) on't penetrate their hide. Majestic creatures, really, clearly designed by God to be up there with the lion, cape buffalo and elephant in difficulty and value as a trophy animal.

            Comment

            • Lost Sheep McUinnean
              Linguistics and Translation Consultant
              True Christian™
              • Nov 2009
              • 2193
              #4
              Re: Greetings from the depths of Hell on Earth (Canada)

              So...

              No kids. No polar bear rugs.

              So you're firing blanks all round, huh?

              I will pray for your loins and so will my wife.

                Comment

                • Adam_Maudite
                  Unsaved trash
                  • Mar 2011
                  • 56
                  #5
                  Re: Greetings from the depths of Hell on Earth (Canada)

                  Originally posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean View Post
                  So...

                  No kids. No polar bear rugs.
                  Oh, don't worry, I'm more than able to be fruitful and multiply, and I didn't say I've never shot a polar bear, I just said it's hard to get a license. You can't even kill them accidentally or in self defence legally, but hey, just pay the money and go on a guided hunt, it's easy enough. I appreciate any prayers to find a True Christian wife, any prayers, really, this country is literally Hell on Earth. What kind of place cares more about bears and homosexuals than hunting and people?

                    Comment

                    • Bible Student
                      Master of Biblical Study and Ancient Languages
                      With Jesus now.
                      True Christian™
                      • Dec 2010
                      • 2474
                      #6
                      Re: Greetings from the depths of Hell on Earth (Canada)

                      Originally posted by Adam_Maudite View Post
                      Originally Posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean
                      So...

                      No kids. No polar bear rugs.
                      Oh, don't worry, I'm more than able to be fruitful and multiply, and I didn't say I've never shot a polar bear, I just said it's hard to get a license. You can't even kill them accidentally or in self defence legally,
                      I'll bet if you looked at those laws a bit more carefully it says you can't shoot them. You might find that the statutes have nothing in them about not being able to use karate on them.

                      Originally posted by Adam_Maudite View Post
                      but hey, just pay the money and go on a guided hunt, it's easy enough. I appreciate any prayers to find a True Christian wife, any prayers, really, this country is literally Hell on Earth. What kind of place cares more about bears and homosexuals than hunting and people?
                      Your are in Godless Iceland?
                      YiJC, BS

                      II Peter 1:4 -- Whereby are giuen vnto vs exceeding great and precious promises, that by these you might bee partakers of thy diuine nature, hauing escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

                        Comment

                        • Adam_Maudite
                          Unsaved trash
                          • Mar 2011
                          • 56
                          #7
                          Re: Greetings from the depths of Hell on Earth (Canada)

                          Originally posted by Bible Student View Post
                          I'll bet if you looked at those laws a bit more carefully it says you can't shoot them. You might find that the statutes have nothing in them about not being able to use karate on them.
                          Yeah, I checked into that, it's the killing part that's illegal, you can't use ninja weapons, grenades, or even 'accidental vehicular slaughter'. If God wants the polar bears to be hunted to extinction, who are we to deny His Will?

                          Originally posted by Bible Student View Post
                          Your are in Godless Iceland?
                          Just as bad, Godless Canada.

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