Hello friends!

[Master]

Hello friends,

I have recently become a Jedi knight. I've been told by close friends and relatives that god does not take kindly to this religion, or the use of the force for that matter. Just the other day I force pushed someone out of a window. I have also been searching through the bible looking for any quotes on lightsaber building. Can someone tell me if there are any commandments that forbid the building and use of them?

I know god takes unkindly to the use of the force and the religion, but if I die would god allow me to enter heaven? Or would I punished to hell?

Yours sincerely,
Yoda.

[PetitionLady]

Re: Hello friends!

Read the instructions and follow them, friend. Know where you are posting.

Tip: The Introduction Forum

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Re: Hello friends!

Hello friends,

I have recently become a Jedi knight. I've been told by close friends and relatives that god does not take kindly to this religion, or the use of the force for that matter. Just the other day I force pushed someone out of a window. I have also been searching through the bible looking for any quotes on lightsaber building. Can someone tell me if there are any commandments that forbid the building and use of them?

I know god takes unkindly to the use of the force and the religion, but if I die would god allow me to enter heaven? Or would I punished to hell?

Yours sincerely,
Yoda.

Does your babysitter know that you are playing with daddy's computor? You sound like you need a country style spanking!

[PetitionLady]

Re: Hello friends!

.... You sound like you need a country style spanking!

Haha, we call it "back behind the woodshed." Is it similar?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Hello friends!

It is not possible for Star Wars fans to enter heaven. Star Wars is a thinly disguised morality tale, as opposed to the Bible (KJV1611) which is God's manual for Life Eternal.

2Th:2:11: And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:

2 Chronicles 15:13 Whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman.

[Master]

Re: Hello friends!

Does your babysitter know that you are playing with daddy's computor? You sound like you need a country style spanking!

Stop insulting my beliefs! The bible teaches forgiveness and acceptance, it looks like you are going to hell now!

[Nobar King]

Re: Hello friends!

Why should you care about the Bible? You're a Jedi, right?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Hello friends!

Stop insulting my beliefs! The bible teaches forgiveness and acceptance,

Find that verse would you? Clue - it ain't there.

it looks like you are going to hell now!

Lame-brain. How could God not love the congregation of Landover Baptist Church?

[Master]

Re: Hello friends!

It is not possible for Star Wars fans to enter heaven. Star Wars is a thinly disguised morality tale, as opposed to the Bible (KJV1611) which is God's manual for Life Eternal.

2Th:2:11: And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:

2 Chronicles 15:13 Whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman.

Sorry, but haven't you read the bible? Jesus was once a Jedi:

[Master]

Re: Hello friends!

Find that verse would you? Clue - it ain't there. Lame-brain. How could God not love the congregation of Landover Baptist Church?

I would also like to warn you, my force power is over 9000, far greater that any other Jedi. Adding to my previous post regarding Jesus as a Jedi, must mean I am more powerful than Jesus, correct?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hello friends!

I would also like to warn you, my force power is over 9000, far greater that any other Jedi. Adding to my previous post regarding Jesus as a Jedi, must mean I am more powerful than Jesus, correct?

No, you are less powerful than my pinky.

Jesus created the entire universe. He is the Supreme Being. Finito

Now go breathe through a straw and put on a bed sheet cape and play in traffic.

[Alvin]

Re: Hello friends!

It is not possible for Star Wars fans to enter heaven. Star Wars is a thinly disguised morality tale, as opposed to the Bible (KJV1611) which is God's manual for Life Eternal.

2Th:2:11: And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:

2 Chronicles 15:13 Whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman.

In addition to Ezekiel Bathfire's righteous comments, you also need to realize that Star Wars is simply one of a number of wholly unoriginal tales told as myths across all times and cultures, which follow the simple structure of the "Monomyth" (also called "The hero's Journey") and describes by Joseph Campbell in "The hero with a thousand faces"

If you look at the 17 stages in the 3 phases of the Monomyth, it is clear that Luke Skywalker in Star Wars is simply passing through all the steps in this tired mythical storyline. Just like many other real figures like Frodo (Lord of the Rings), Neo (The Matrix), Jack Ryan (Hunt for Red October), Maverick (Top Gun), Will Turner (Pirates of the Caribbean), Clarice Starling (Silence of the Lambs), Harry Potter, Shrek, Karate Kid, Odysseus, Prometheus, Beowulf... and I had another one on the tip of my tongue recently but it presently escapes me.

In short: Jediism is boring stuff for boring people leading boring, copycat lives and who are neither creative nor brave enough to humbly face, read and follow the Word of GOD! Anyone can run around their garden with a light saber - but being prepared to sacrifice your own son to demonstrate your obedience to GOD, that is... unique.

Matthew 5:3
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Step out of your small mind - cast away your "Yoda" moinker, be yourself and thank JESUS for giving you eyes and a mind to read and understand the KJV of the BIBLE!

And stop exposing your mind to all those uninspired secular myths!

GLORY!

YiC,

Alvin

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hello friends!

Hello friends,

I have recently become a Jedi knight . . . Just the other day I force pushed someone out of a window. Yours sincerely,
Toad.

Dear Murderous Crossdresser:

God will not be mocked. Enjoy Hell.