Howdy

[Jason]

So I'm Jason, just another guy from "America's frozen attic." Good ol' Canuckistan. Church goer all my life but catholic :O So when do I get to talk to snakes and burning bushes??

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Howdy

Dear Papist;

Being a smart aleck won't win you any friends here, and it will only serve to further enrage Jesus. You see Jesus hates you Mary-worshiping papists, and He has a special place in hell waiting for you all.

I'd repent if I were you, boy.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[Jason]

Re: Howdy

Jesus hates people who worship his mother? Oh dear, anyways, I'm not much of a Mary fan. I never did understand the whole dealy with her anyways so how about I learn more about your way without getting my head chewed off? I'm a smart-ass by nature, it's who I am so I do suppose it's how God made me seeing as I've lived by myself for most of my life. Can't blame outside sources.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Howdy

Jesus hates people who worship his mother? Oh dear, anyways, I'm not much of a Mary fan. I never did understand the whole dealy with her anyways so how about I learn more about your way without getting my head chewed off?

Praise Jesus, if you're ready to stop counting beads, bowing down to statuary, kissing rings AND worshiping Mary, you're well on your way to repenting of the papist cult. Shout Glory!

I'm a smart-ass by nature, it's who I am so I do suppose it's how God made me seeing as I've lived by myself for most of my life. Can't blame outside sources.

Sorry, but you can't use "God made me this way, so oh well" as an excuse around here. God also made witches, queers and atheists. That doesn't mean He wants you to act like a fool.

Straighten up and worship Jesus properly, son. Smartassery will only get you in trouble.

[Little Donkey]

Re: Howdy

So I'm Jason, just another guy from "America's frozen attic." Good ol' Canuckistan. Church goer all my life but catholic :O So when do I get to talk to snakes and burning bushes??

Welcome to God's favorite forum, brother! Tell us more about yourself - are you married? Any sons? A favorite sports team? How many women did you rape in the riots? Before that? Have you ever been to the United States? Must be hard not to covet thy neighbor, huh!

[Bob4God]

Re: Howdy

Welcome, I suppose, to GOD's favorite church.

It's unfortunate that you are both Catholic and Canadian, but anything is possible through JESUS so there is still hope!

JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY TO HEAVEN:

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. - John 14:6

JESUS explicitly states that you cannot come unto the Father except through JESUS, which pretty much excludes any other method, including praying to saints and eating magic cookies.

CATHOLICS READ A FALSE BIBLE:

Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you. - Deuteronomy 4:2

The Mary Worshipers have modified GOD's perfect word (the KJV 1611) by adding the books of Maccabees and some such nonsense!

If GOD wanted us to read Maccabees, He would've told us so, wouldn't have He?

YOU ARE REBELLIOUS AND ON YOUR WAY TO HELL:

You are clearly an angry young man, and it's understandable considering you were lied to as a child by idolaters and kiddie fiddlers.

You should break off your ties with this false church immediately!

But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. - 1 Corinthians 5:11

Until JESUS lives in your heart and you adopt the sweet, passionate, gentle demeanor of a True Christian, you are definitely going to Hell.

And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. - Matthew 18:3

Acting like a little child means trusting entirely in what authority (GOD and His church) tells you. It does not mean being a big baby.

Sassing us or trying to outsmart us will not work.

But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; - 1 Corinthians 1:27

I will pray for you to see the truth and love of GOD as He means for you to see it!

[Jason]

Re: Howdy

Not married, single. No sons. I like the New Jersey Devils. Watched the riot sitting on the roof of a parkade until some stupid drunk tried to kick me in the head. Didn't go too well Never been to the United States because of the amount of assholes I've met from there. Is there anyone on this forum that actually fucking thinks that I live in an igloo and ride a polar bear to work? I never swallowed the Catholic bullshit as a kid or young adult because I didn't agree with it. However the magic cookies were tempting...

[Jason]

Re: Howdy

but I AM really curious about your church. I would like to be an active member of a church that can change my life for the better and enlighten me. I'll need some help though. Whats your view on immigrants and changing our national policies to suit them?

[Bob4God]

Re: Howdy

but I AM really curious about your church. I would like to be an active member of a church that can change my life for the better and enlighten me. I'll need some help though. Whats your view on immigrants and changing our national policies to suit them?

If you truly want to be saved, then you're in the right place.

If you've come to mock us, then we suggest you move on. These forums are for praising JESUS and teaching the Holy Bible to the world!

Immigrants? You can learn a lot by using the search button on our forums.

Here's what the Bible says about outsiders:

And that ye may put difference between holy and unholy, and between unclean and clean; - Leviticus 10:10

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. - Ephesians 5:11

If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: - 2 John 1:10

Outsiders are rarely True Christians, and therefore bring darkness and sin with them.

Deuteronomy 13:6-9 tells us how outsiders can fracture our families and cause their demise:

6If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;


7Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth;


8Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him:


9But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.

Soon, we hope to replace the United States Constitution with the King James Bible so that America can return to the theocracy GOD intended it to be!

[Jason]

Re: Howdy

I am here to learn and better myself, not mock and make a fool of myself.

[Miss Christine]

Re: Howdy

but I AM really curious about your church. I would like to be an active member of a church that can change my life for the better and enlighten me. I'll need some help though. Whats your view on immigrants and changing our national policies to suit them?

It's called a search engine and I'm sure it can answer those questions. Speaking from personal opinion- illegal immigrants have 1 right and that is to get the hell out of my country. The word illegal is pretty self explanatory. The law already prohibits them being here. It is the liberal government that is breaking the law by not getting them out.

[Bob4God]

Re: Howdy

I am here to learn and better myself, not mock and make a fool of myself.

We certainly hope that's true. Hell is no laughing matter.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. - Galatians 6:7

It is a terrible place where grievous sinners such as homosexuals, murderers, and witches will burn for all eternity.

We have already established that JESUS is the only way to get to Heaven.

One of the world's most famous Bible verses, John 3:16, tells us that whosoever BELIEVES in JESUS goes to Heaven.

You have to believe that JESUS is the Son of GOD (and is Himself GOD), was born of a virgin, walked on water, raised the dead, was persecuted, tortured, executed, and resurrected three days later to go back up into Heaven so that GOD could nullify the wages of sin being death, pending your acceptance of this magnificent offer of eternal life in exchange for dedicating your entire existence to praising the love and passion of a GOD who chose to offer you a way out of the Hell He created instead of going ahead with His original plan to decimate you.

What an awesome GOD we serve!

Do you accept this offer, Jason?

[Jason]

Re: Howdy

Yes I do because I already believe that

[Bob4God]

Re: Howdy

Then get down on your knees right here and now and say this prayer:

"Dear Almighty Awesome GOD in Heaven,

I kneel before you as a worthless, broken vessel whose greatest deed is still only as great as a pile of trash on the ground (Isaiah 64:6), and I beg your forgiveness for all of the hideous things I've done in my life."

(Tell JESUS about all the hideous things you've done in your life, such as lying, touching yourself, touching others, thinking about touching yourself or others, worshiping false gods, stealing... pretty much anything and everything you've ever thought, said, or done.)

(And yes, GOD already knows all the terrible sins you've committed [1 John 3:20], but that doesn't mean He doesn't want you to go through the trouble of confessing them to Him.)

Continue with,

"I accept JESUS CHRIST as my personal LORD and SAVIOR, and plead His hot, sweet blood all over my body and soul. I dedicate my life to His service and will literally say, do and believe anything and everything I am told if it is to be found in the Bible.

Amen!"

Congratulations! If you are faithful and sincere, JESUS is your SAVIOR and you are washed white as snow!

If you are not sincere, well, you've just committed a very bad sin and are on an even faster descent to Hell than you were. (Matthew 7:21)

Now is the time for you to cut off all contact with sinners and surround yourself with GODly Christian folks! That's where we come in.

Tell us about your depravity and perversions! Tell us about how sick and twisted you were until you were washed clean in the blood of the Lamb! Your new church family wants to know just what kind of dirty life they have helped save you from!

This not only makes for great stories to tell to random people who question the legitimacy of Christendom's life-changing power, it is also commanded by GOD! (James 5:16)

Shame and humility are part of the Christian walk (Psalms 149:4), and please realize that privacy is really just a satanic illusion. (Proverbs 15:3)

PRAISE GOD!

[James Hutchins]

Re: Howdy

I am here to learn and better myself, not mock and make a fool of myself.

I am confused, you say one thing yet do another.