[Zaiger]

Re: Hello Im new here

Zaiger, these are truly innovative ideas! I hope you've patented all of them!

I have, well those that I could, Im working on some new ones i have to work some kinks out of. The Bible says

Mathew 5:27-28
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

So even thinking about these acts are against god. A good christian man cannot do much about satans influence on our children's dreams, but now we might be able to.
I have three things in the works one of them is an add-on to the two hand toilet. It will detect small amounts of seed in urine if any has been secreted and will sound the alarm if it detects anything.
The other is an alarm that goes off every hour to prevent bad dreams. Dreams introduce children to things like s*x and harry potter with unicorns and fatasy things of that nature. The alarm gives a random bible verse durring what should be sleeping time about 7:30 to sunrise at a high volume.
The third is going to take a while it is a small device that detect any increase in blood flow to the penis. If it gets set off a picture of jesus will drop down from the ceiling of whatever room the child is in and the child will be sprayed with a stream of cold water until the blood flow goes back to normal levels.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello Im new here

How about a device that simply delivers an electric shock if it senses an impending erection? That way, it would be just as effective if the child happens to be away from home.

[Zaiger]

Re: Hello Im new here

How about a device that simply delivers an electric shock if it senses an impending erection? That way, it would be just as effective if the child happens to be away from home.

We tried that the problem is the body tends to learn through things like pain. When the errection become tied to a shock the body tends to stop doing it, so once they get married it is impossible to have christian children.
Why would the child be away from home?
Your idea is good, maybe i could market that version to the colored families

[landoverlover]

Re: Hello Im new here

Zaiger, these are truly innovative ideas! I hope you've patented all of them!

Yeah, that's pretty fancy. Here in the backwoods of Oregon, we use a lot of electrified fencing, steel bars, and other material we buy "around back" at prison construction sites, of which there are many.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello Im new here

We tried that the problem is the body tends to learn through things like pain. When the errection become tied to a shock the body tends to stop doing it, so once they get married it is impossible to have christian children.
Why would the child be away from home?
Your idea is good, maybe i could market that version to the colored families

I can see you've really thought this through. I guess that's why you're paid the big bucks. This underscores just how dangerous it can be when an untrained amateur such as me presumes to think he knows something about sin prevention.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello Im new here

I'm glad to see that you've rediscovered your shift key.

Please tell us about yourself, boy. How old are you? What sins have you been wallowing in?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Zaiger]

Re: Hello Im new here

Please tell us about yourself, boy. How old are you? What sins have you been wallowing in?

I am 27 years old, currently I have been living without much sin in my life except for my foul language and disrespectful tone. Would you know of any scripture that could aid a man like me?

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Understood sir and thank you again.

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: Hello Im new here

Im out here right now on business. I have to sin-proof the bedrooms of a few dozen houses out here.

Yes, I'm sure you find that clever.

What is your opinion on the curse of Ham and it's impact on the darkies?

[Zaiger]

Re: Hello Im new here

What is your opinion on the curse of Ham and it's impact on the darkies?

It was always my understanding that the Dark ones were always meant to be servants of the white race. Their bigger frame lets them carry more, their wide shoulders make an easy target for discipline whipping, their dark skin lets them work in the sun all day without the need to go inside or seek shade and their foul odor was designed by god to keep white women away. Their lack of a developed frontal lobe keeps the mind focused on work and producing more servants for their god appointed masters. Due to this they are quicker to resort to violence, which is a good thing! You want them to react the only way they know how when they see their white masters being threatened.
Don't get me wrong I love negros just like the rest of God's creations but the fact is they have their place in life. God created horses too but im not about to let my daughter date a horse or have one over for dinner, how silly would that be?

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: Hello Im new here

It was always my understanding that the Dark ones were always meant to be servants of the white race. Their bigger frame lets them carry more, their wide shoulders make an easy target for discipline whipping, their dark skin lets them work in the sun all day without the need to go inside or seek shade and their foul odor was designed by god to keep white women away. Their lack of a developed frontal lobe keeps the mind focused on work and producing more servants for their god appointed masters. Due to this they are quicker to resort to violence, which is a good thing! You want them to react the only way they know how when they see their white masters being threatened.
Don't get me wrong I love negros just like the rest of God's creations but the fact is they have their place in life. God created horses too but im not about to let my daughter date a horse or have one over for dinner, how silly would that be?

So, basically that everyone looked normal until Noah's Ark? That would about sum it up?

[Zaiger]

Re: Hello Im new here

So, basically that everyone looked normal until Noah's Ark? That would about sum it up?

I believe so

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: Hello Im new here

I believe so

Post scripture for it. Belief is not good enough.

[Zaiger]

Re: Hello Im new here

Post scripture for it. Belief is not good enough.

Genesis 9:20-27
20And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:

21And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
22And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
23And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.
24And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
25And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
26And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant. 27God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.