Hi everyone!

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hi everyone!

Why is your father still responsible for you? You appear to be biologically capable of producing Future Soldiers for Christ©, so you need to get with the program (Gen. 1:28). Get married and get cracking.

Every 4 weeks you are flushing half a person right down the toilet: are you TRYING to make Jesus cry???



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[JamieLCaldera]

Re: Hi everyone!

Hi everyone! This is me Jamie----but somehow I got locked out of my other account. Do I need to make another introduction thread or do I just leave this one? I'm utterly confused using this computer (I haven't got much practice on this gadget!) and I'm simple minded (we all know why that is so!) so please forgive me for the use of another account.

Yours with love,
Jamie L. Caldera

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hi everyone!

Welcome, Jamie! It's always nice to meet a fresh-faced young lady who loves the Lord!

I'm a little concerned about the following turn of phrase, however:

...Christian (the greatest religion!)

Your word choice seems to imply that Christianity exists on some kind of spectrum, as if other religions might be almost as good. This is NOT the case!

You are either going to Hell or you aren't. Anybody who tells you that Buddhism, for example, is 75% as good as Christianity is asking you to believe a dangerous premise, one that can be deconstructed with very simple logic.

Think about it for a minute: If Buddhism is 75% as good as Christianity, does that mean it will keep 75% of you out of Hell?

Utter nonsense! If just one tenth of one percent of you is exposed to everlasting hellfire, I guarantee the remaining ninety nine and nine tenths percent of you is going to be in a world of hurt!

God does not grade your salvation on any kind of a curve: This is a pass/fail proposition, my friend.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hi everyone!

You go to Pastor James' Church in Biloxi? That's great! He and I were roomies once at a Pastor's retreat in Tahiti. Ask him about it sometime.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Deaner]

Re: Hi everyone!

Why did Christ kill your mother? Was she a whorish slut?? Are you a whorish slut like your mother?

[Jamie Caldera]

Hi my name is Jamie Caldera and I am a devoted Christian! I love sunshine, baking cookies, and going to church. When my mother was dying, she told me that Jesus loves me and her and that we all will live happily in heaven in the afterlife. That's how I found Jesus. It was like he was telling me "You've found me, now live your life and follow my commands, and everything will work out the way I have planned it for you Jamie."

It really brightened up my life. I began going to church and enjoying all the parts of life God intended for me to enjoy! I love Jesus now and I obey his every command. I know that my father will raise me to be a wonderful Christian woman one day because of my choice to become Christian (the greatest religion!)

My favorite Bible verse, (hmm this is a hard one, there's so many great ones!) is:

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Psalm 37:4

And the church I go to is absolutely amazing. It's called Total Destiny Fellowship.

And that's about it! I can't wait to meet everybody!

And yes, my father has given me permission to post this.