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  • Rehjae
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Apr 2008
    • 3

    #1

    I'm pleased to be here!

    Good afternoon brothers and sisters! I've been seeking out a refuge where I can further my education in on-going Christian matters and worship, and I hear LBC is second to none. I hope I will fit nicely here and do my best to contribute to this thriving Christian community. (:

    God bless!
  • Pastor Isaac Peters
    Senior Pastor
    Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
    Always Biblically correct
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 10639

    #2
    Re: I'm pleased to be here!

    Dear friend:

    Tell us more about yourself and your faith. Which is your favorite verse from the King James Bible?
    This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

    Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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    • Jonesy
      Unsaved trash
      • Apr 2008
      • 100

      #3
      Re: I'm pleased to be here!

      Good luck on this site i'm sure you will make many friends.
      Luke 14:26-These Pigs are for Science, SCIENCE!

      Comment

      • Sister Noddy
        True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Jun 2007
        • 1843

        #4
        Re: I'm pleased to be here!

        Originally posted by Jerry Jones View Post

        Good luck on this site i'm sure you will make many friends.
        He'll make many friends here if he's a winner with JESUS! That goes for you too, jonesy!
        1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
        1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


        1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

        Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
        Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...

        Comment

        • Rehjae
          Unsaved trash
          Under Investigation
          • Apr 2008
          • 3

          #5
          Re: I'm pleased to be here!

          Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
          Dear friend:

          Tell us more about yourself and your faith. Which is your favorite verse from the King James Bible?
          Thank you for asking, Pastor.

          I'm a devote Baptist, of course, and am currently attending Arlington Baptist College in Texas. I hope to graduate and marry my finance as soon as possible (he's rather technophobic, though I'm trying to get him to join LBC as well).

          A favorite verse? Ah, that's very difficult, so many have touched me. However, I've found that whenever I am in doubt Proverbs 3:5 has helped me through: 'Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.'

          Comment

          • Jonesy
            Unsaved trash
            • Apr 2008
            • 100

            #6
            Re: I'm pleased to be here!

            i would appreciate it you did not call me Jonesy. Thank you
            Luke 14:26-These Pigs are for Science, SCIENCE!

            Comment

            • Eugene Hackwith
              Farmer for Christ™
              True Christian™
              • Jan 2008
              • 736

              #7
              Re: I'm pleased to be here!

              That's a fine verse indeed. It must be nice to go to a college with like-minded Baptists.
              A baby is a human being, not a stem cell!

              Psalm 139:19-20
              Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
              For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.

              Comment

              • Deaner
                Christ's Love Messenger
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 5932

                #8
                Re: I'm pleased to be here!

                Originally posted by Rehjae View Post
                he's rather technophobic,
                Does that mean he hates queers?

                Comment

                • Nobar King
                  Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                  Christ's Guardian
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2007
                  • 23748

                  #9
                  Re: I'm pleased to be here!

                  Hey, Jonesey, do you have any idea how many people come here and use that stupid picture of a Jesus figure as their avatar? This year? You think that's supposed to make us warm up to you?
                  May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                  Comment

                  • Jonesy
                    Unsaved trash
                    • Apr 2008
                    • 100

                    #10
                    Re: I'm pleased to be here!

                    No it means he doesn't like technology (or Robots).
                    Luke 14:26-These Pigs are for Science, SCIENCE!

                    Comment

                    • Sister Noddy
                      True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Jun 2007
                      • 1843

                      #11
                      Re: I'm pleased to be here!

                      Originally posted by Nobar King View Post

                      Hey, Jonesey, do you have any idea how many people come here and use that stupid picture of a Jesus figure as their avatar? This year? You think that's supposed to make us warm up to you?
                      That's right, Brother! And we can't tell if he's a boy or a girl, either!
                      1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
                      1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


                      1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

                      Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
                      Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...

                      Comment

                      • Ezekiel Bathfire
                        Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                        Christ's Rottweiler
                         
                        • Jan 2008
                        • 22888

                        #12
                        Re: I'm pleased to be here!

                        Originally posted by Rehjae View Post
                        Good afternoon brothers and sisters! I've been seeking out a refuge where I can further my education in on-going Christian matters and worship, and I hear LBC is second to none. I hope I will fit nicely here and do my best to contribute to this thriving Christian community. (:

                        God bless!

                        We would be interested in your opinion of C. H. Spurgeon’s views, expressed in The Sword and the Trowel for November 1887, for withdrawing from the Baptist Union. Had he really identified the heresy of Unitarianism?
                        sigpic


                        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                        Author of such illuminating essays as,
                        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                        Comment

                        • Dr. Otto Bond Sr.
                          Away on vacation, or very possibly deceased
                          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                          • Feb 2008
                          • 177

                          #13
                          Re: I'm pleased to be here!

                          Welcome to Landover, Sister. It's good to hear that we have devout Godly, Baptist women to keep those godless liberals in the college system in line. You don't party do you? or drink excessively? or show your ankles? I cringe to think that such a Godly young woman could be corrupted by such things. Stay strong, Sister.

                          Comment

                          • Justina Thyme
                            Exposing DEMONS for Jesus
                            True Christian™
                            • Dec 2007
                            • 1718

                            #14
                            Re: I'm pleased to be here!

                            Originally posted by Rehjae View Post
                            Thank you for asking, Pastor.

                            I'm a devote Baptist, of course, and am currently attending Arlington Baptist College in Texas. I hope to graduate and marry my finance as soon as possible (he's rather technophobic, though I'm trying to get him to join LBC as well).

                            A favorite verse? Ah, that's very difficult, so many have touched me. However, I've found that whenever I am in doubt Proverbs 3:5 has helped me through: 'Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.'
                            Rehjae, are you aware that you speak of marrying your money?

                            Greed is a DEMON! Please refer to my signature line for a Spiritual Warfare prayer that you may say any time you feel the need.

                            Welcome to Landover Baptist Church!
                            Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

                            1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

                            A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
                            Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

                            LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27

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